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The Standing Ovation
Have you ever had the feeling that you are watching yourself from behind? As if you are standing right behind yourself on the right side.
You can see the back of your head and you can see that your right hand is in the air. You are animated and the hand is also going up and down and you are pointing with your index finger. You are full of energy and slightly to the left of the hand is the mic. You are speaking into it. Well, not you, the "You" that you are able to see and addressing a large audience and they are clapping and it is like a speech that is full of energy and hope and the crowd is cheering and it is like an auditorium with a few hundred people seated in there and suddenly you see that the room is too small as there are thousands of people who want to enter and so the roof goes away and the room expands and more and more people start flowing in just like bits of iron being attracted towards a magnet. "You" are the magnet.
All this can't be happening for sure, as the room can't just expand on it's own, nor can you see yourself from behind. Still it happened.
This happened with me about 3 years and 8 months back and that feeling was as real as some of the other feelings that I had.
I was giving a standing ovation to myself and it was a moment with such high intensity and emotion that I still think it actually happened.
I would have been about 13-14 years old when I took part in the first three legged race ever.
I was at a fest with my parents and I wanted to participate in an Ice cream eating competition. It was like a 3 KG ice cream, big in size, full of nuts, and you had to finish before others to win. I was pretty sure that I would win but my parents thought otherwise. Men of the age of 25 and above were participating and my parents (dad) felt that I would not win and might fall sick as I would definitely try to eat a lot under the pressure to win. So I was upset and wanted to go home.
Then we saw this three legged race and I was asked to participate so that I would be more cheerful and there was no one to be with me. I was not sure what to do as i surely didn't have 3 legs and my parents were not allowed to participate as it was a race for the kids.
As we were about to go, we found another boy who also wanted to participate and so we approached him, his parents said yes, and they tied our legs together so we could run together. We started running and we were bad at it and we were not doing good. There was a very large crowd watching this and everyone was jumping and cheering all the kids and we were struggling to even take a step together and then suddenly I noticed my dad. He was in the crowd and I could barely see him but I could see his eyes and those eyes really were hoping that I would win and those eyes were wishing me all the luck and thus I started picking up speed and those eyes got excited and he started shouting and encouraging me and we ran faster and over took some kids and then more and then more and we were behind another set of kids and I saw that now my dad was not just shouting, but he was crying, the cry when someone feels proud of you and i had seen this for the first time in those 13-14 years of my life and it was all so clear that it feels like yesterday.
We finished second, won some gifts which I can't remember but what shocks me even today is that how could I manage to notice so much and still do so well in the race. I could see him in a crowd of a few hundred people, I could see his eyes, I could see his emotions, I could see what he wanted, and it was all in slow motion and as real as it gets.
I don't know if it was real or my imagination as I didn't have the guts to ask him on why he was crying. I don't know if all this actually happened or my mind just made it up.
I don't even know if there was a race like that in the past, or it was just like the imaginary "standing ovation"
After both the events, I was given awards.
The first one concluded after I was handed an award by the college director for delivering a speech to students.
The second one ended when I got some gifts (probably chocolates) from some guy who didn't even care to shake hands with me and was in a hurry to finish the "ceremony".
Which one meant more to me? You would have guessed by now. It was definitely the second one.
Both the events were very high on emotions, but the second one had emotions from someone else, someone who was not me. The first one had emotions from the crowd, but not individual(s). The second one had emotions from someone who was very close. A dad, who is a child's first hero.
The award didn't matter at all. What really mattered was who was there next to me when it was being given and who had "pride in eyes" when I was receiving the award.
I love post scripts.
What I love about writing is that when I write anything that comes to my mind and when I don't plan anything, then I get such good realization that it is life changing.
Like in this article's case, it made me realize that it doesn't matter what you achieve, what matters is who was there with you when you achieved it.
Friends, Family, or Crowd?