The Dire Consequences of a Bullying Act
My life story as a whole is not something many people can relate to, but parts of it can be used as a lesson in this subject.
What's my story? Well, I was born a boy, but I ended up being surgically transformed into a girl at the age of six, because of mixed gonadal dysgenesis (45,X/46,XY) - a disorder of sex development.
I did go through plenty of diversity and emotional pain, so because of that, the day I reflected on my teenage days and concluded that I was never systematically bullied was the day I truly comprehended the destructive nature of the bullying act itself.
You see, I was pretty much spared in my 31 years on this planet. In a way, you can attribute the bad stuff that happens to a person to the vulnerability that somebody projects. It's unfortunate, but that's the way it is sometimes - the more you look like prey, the higher the chances are you're going to get stalked, jumped, and chewed up.
Me, I had the potential to be a real victim, but I had the fortune to grow up in a peaceful environment, where every single ounce of negative energy in my had a fit counterpart. That held me in a stable balance throughout my life.
But the movie scenes are not exactly exaggerated. Somewhere, sometime, for someone, the reality is much more horrible than the pictures that try to paint a realistic view of this harmful behavior. For some people, the battles are daily and lost in advance, and the war seems infinite. After that realization, I was no longer surprised that so many kids suffer from a lack of confidence and depression.
What if I had encountered that level of brutality in my youth? I can only speculate about the things that happen in some other, imagined reality, but I can't envision myself being here to write this. But I was, all in all, left alone. The kids that made me uncomfortable left it that way and pushed no further, and friends that appreciated me felt that way regardless of my nature. The family was there, too, and that meant that every single ounce of negative energy in my life had a fit counterpart, which held me in a stable balance throughout my life.
This where I pull my conclusions from - because I felt the consequences despite the fact I avoided the worst. This is where I ask my self, how does real, systematic bullying affects a developing brain?
I know exactly how it is to end up deep down in the dumps, despite the fact there were not that many deadly bullets to dodge. So how did I manage to get back up? One thing that got me motivated was thinking about this life as a one-time deal that it is. This is not a Nintendo console, where the reset button will give you another crack at it.
So I always felt like there was too much effort given for all of this to be thrown away. You know that feeling when you put enough puzzle pieces in place, and you think that you've come too far to take everything apart and place it back in the box? That's where I am on my best days. When the sun shines the brightest, this becomes my way of thinking. I worked too hard to just give up. And when depression kicks in, I try to regain that feeling.
I really wish one day the bullying will become too insignificant in the number of cases to be even included in any statistics. It is tragic because of the fact it's so pointless and yet so dangerous. If any bully reads this book, I want you to reevaluate your actions, because the last thing you want is to find a victim in a similar state that I was in. Everything act from a person with this kind of intentions can have, and unfortunately, many times has had dire physical consequences.
The reason I am bringing this up is my worry about these behaviors since I am aware of how easy it would be to push me over the metaphorical cliff. I have to be honest and emphasize how nervous I feel about the fact it is so easy for someone to just pick a target and play "prey" with another human being. What's also dangerous is how hidden the feelings can be on the other side. By looking at me at a young age, at first glance, you would never be able to tell that on this particular day I suffered through something.
So the point I am making is this - the biggest part of the problem is actually the simplest thing to resolve in this situation. The only thing people need to do is just stop looking at other human beings as prey.
I'm curious to know:
Is bullying common in your area?
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 Ina Ferenčić