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Love in Varied Forms
What love is
"i love you " are the repeatedly said and heard words. It can be said in reference to one; if one wants sex. Second; when a man/woman is ready to have long term relationship or is in long term relationship trying to please his/ her spouse. Third; to a friend or close relations detached from sex.
love without sex can survive but sex without love cannot survive. Sex is a basic instinct in all living beings but love is not a basic instinct. It is a need and want, without which no human can survive. I have come across many attempted suicidal cases just because of isolation, loneliness refrained from love but have we ever heard of a person committing suicide because he/ she is left without sex, no this has never been heard off or rarely heard off.
Love and sex are are two unique entities with its own individual strongly defining characteristics which has to not be interrelated or merged in identity. They both have to be equally respected at its own places and time.
Love without sex can be lifelong maintained but sex cannot be maintained without love. After frequent period of sex it can be merged into love or mechanical sex( mechanical - cause without love) can be closed sooner or later.
People are usually confused between love, infatuation and attraction and sex. Love is made of many factors most important is caring and sharing, without these, foundation of love is weak. Then is sex, compassion, passion, unconditional, closeness, and respect. When one finds all these factors then love can be said complete. To find all these factors if one or two is not fulfilled love is handicapped then love becomes commitment of relationship. In such case, you can put other way around mere relationship. When you find all qualities in love then love can be said 'Absolute state of love'. Which is indeed very difficult to find, if found you are the luckiest species on earth but according to law of nature there is no absolute state. State of being keeps on changing in this process of change one or the other characteristic of love lost to transcend into relationship. There are three stages in love: attraction, relationship and infatuation.
Attraction is a foremost step of love. Intially it is based on physical being of person. attraction to a particular person is due to his/ her special features we relate to a person who has long been settled in our subconscious mind having strong influence on our being of attraction to that particular person. If this attraction is responded positively and is carried ahead it may lead to love then relationship. So one has to not be confused between attraction and love. Love cannot be claimed on attraction.
Attraction, intially is about physical being. It can be changed either it can fade or can transcend into love so whoever on one or two meeting proposes love then his/ her act cannot be justified. It is better to introspect his/ her feelings by giving time to attraction.
infatuation too is familiar to attraction. Another name given to infatuation is 'puppy love' or 'immatured love ', 'short term love'
It is a love with no logic or seriousness in it, still it can be confused with love. Definition of infatuation is different from love. This is followed by attraction and if understanding and all characteristics of love grows it can grow into love otherwise half way it breaks down. There is no age bar for it but usually it is found in teenagers. Its survival rate is very short. In very cases it transforms into love, and then relationship.Overall conclusion is, attraction, infatuation has to not be claimed or confused with love.
In certain cases due to one or the reason love and relationship can thrive seperately irrelevant to societal structure specially in indian societal structure where one is in relationship as one has to due to societal pressure but that cannot again be confused with love as couples are living together. More than 90% couples are living in relationships where they are facing inadequate factors of love but still carrying on to please society.
I am not sure but i have often heard love loses its sheen in long term relations as physical attraction is lost but don't forget at that point you have developed a habit of staying into that particular relationship which becomes hard to break. We have reached a state of monotony which cannot be broken and has reached to the point of acceptance irrelevant to the fact of love or no love.
LAW OF NATURE:
In context to law of nature we human are easily bored by monotonous relations, because of our hypocritical nature in relationship we cannot accept this fact of getting bored henceforth following monogamus law of marital status. Here in indian society women, due to demureness, and shying away in expressing their idea on polygamy, they would rather prefere staying numb and may be perhaps in conscious mind it is a taboo to even entertain such thoughts but subconsciously women and men in relationship are bored to death or unhappy in relationship. Eventually, it is the women fearing double standards of society and male domination she is unable to express her thoughts, torturing her own self various in males situation is contradictory. He is always openly expressing his attraction, love and relationship other than his own spouse.
INFLUENCE OF WESTERN CULTURE
Western culture can be made a litmus test for survival of a relationships for they are not bound to societal pressure. For them relationship is a open door to 'come' and 'go' that's why survival of relations are too low and divorce rate high.