ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

the almighty pt belt

Updated on September 3, 2015

Okay so the other day my husband and I were walking on fort bliss (he is active duty army) well anywho there was a patch of grass and not knowing it isn't allowed I stepped on the grass out of no where my husband shouts no you can't walk on the grass here. I looked at him and said oh no I'm hurting the bases grass I took one more step forward and twisted the hell out of my ankle, under his breath I hear him mumble this wouldnt have happened if you had a pt belt confused as to how his reflective physical training belt could have kept me from twisting my ankle into the total cluster mess that it was I had to do some research and get some personal opinions from some of his fellow soldiers on what the pt belt truly was and here's what I have gained from the research and interviews I have done.


A long long time ago in a magical place called hot-girls-in-bikinis-drinking-beer-atopia two very attractive blondes were wrestling in a pool filled with mud when the Budweiser wizard appeared in the sky (words from one of the soldiers) while watching the event the blonde named tiffany got a bad scratch and angered by this event the wizard then created the almighty pt belt so no injury would ever come to something so perfect again. jump forward in time to the age of the dinosaurs the pt belt had been locked away into a secret cave at this point two cave men had come across the cave they collected the almighty pt belt and brought it back to their dwelling well one day the earth started to rain fire and well they would have burnt to death but the almighty pt belt saved them if it hadn't have been for the pt belt there would be no human race. once again skip forward even longer into the future on June ,14th, 1775 the army was created by the pt belt itself. One day the pt belt was on a long lonely travel when it came apon two young men with great strength and in the most beautiful but still mainly voice the pt belt had spoken to the men and said to them I am the almighty pt belt will you swear to wear me to achieve the most ultimate victory of kicking your enemies asses if so then stand strong even better stand army strong for you now are considered the army. From that day on the pt belt has served and protected the American men and women of the military from all dangers around the world for example if you are standing on a bomb your pt belt will turn the bomb into a Budweiser , if you don't have a date to the military ball chant the words pt belt oh pt belt come on guy and help me out and magically a model who stands 5'6 will appear and she will not only accompany you to the ball but she will also wife you and serve to your every need as for cooking cleaning and anything else your heart will desire, and for extreme cases the pt belt is bullet proof, fire proof, STD proof, and even ugly drunk girl proof. The truth of the matter is the pt belt is the most sacred item in the entire world and at the end of the day you should always wear your pt belt to keep safe from harm and be considered one bad ass mofo.

Comments

Submit a Comment

No comments yet.

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)