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Lady Gaga Is Joe Calderone

Updated on August 25, 2010

Lady Gaga has been dodging accusations of being a hermaphrodite ever since she crawled out of a swimming pool between two large harlequin Great Danes, and though it would seem that she's not an hermaphrodite or any variant thereof, she has no problem getting in touch with her masculine side in the form of her alter ego, 'male' model, Joe Calderone.

Joe Calderone, a previous unknown, sent shock waves through the Internet fashion community when 'he' showed up on the cover of Japanese Vogue. People immediately noticed that there was something of a resemblance to Lady Gaga herself. (That nose is hard to hide, not to mention the deep, soulful eyes. Oh, and don't forget the rake thin body and complete lack of development in his arms, which is odd given that Joe's claimed career turns out to be a fairly physical one.)

It soon turned out that Joe most likely was Lady Gaga. They both claim Italian heritage, though Joe says 'he's' just a simple guy from Sicily who works as a mechanic.( A mechanic with perfectly pretty lady hands and almost no biceps to speak of.)

He also claims that his cover for Vogue is the first time he's had his picture taken. How fortuitous that it landed on the cover of Vogue, huh? After all, it's not like there's an entire industry of people whose job it is to have their picture taken, and I'm sure Vogue often yanks mechanics out of Sicilian workshops to shove them on the cover of their magazine. That sounds quite plausible.

Of course, the connections between Joe and Gaga grow stronger still, they don't just look exactly like one another and share precisely the same body type, but 'Joe' has allegedly met Lady Gaga. Of course! In an interview with Vogue, Joe claimed to have met Gaga at a Nick Knight shoot and said. “ She's fuckin beautiful, and funny, and interesting. I was a little nervous for Nick to start shooting. She said, "Don't be baby, you were "born this way." I took her out after. The rest is private ;)”

So Joe apparently knows Gaga in the fairly carnal sense as well. Is there a point to all this alter ego playing? Is Gaga teaching us about the fluid nature of gender roles and the ultimate futility of valuing an individual as either a male or female? Maybe. Or maybe she's just incredibly rich now and messing with people. Don't act like you wouldn't do precisely the same thing. (Once you'd finished diving into a large vat of gold coins, a la Scrooge Mc Duck.)


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