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10 Failed Products - Do you remember them?

Updated on January 24, 2016

Need a picture to remember...

New coke...not so much!
New coke...not so much!
Itza Pizza Happy meal with pepperoni and cheese. You also get a drink and a to that's sure to please! Well...not  anymore :(
Itza Pizza Happy meal with pepperoni and cheese. You also get a drink and a to that's sure to please! Well...not anymore :(
Oh sweet burple..where are you?!?!
Oh sweet burple..where are you?!?!
Crystal Pepsi! What a great idea...I mean BAD...BAD IDEA.
Crystal Pepsi! What a great idea...I mean BAD...BAD IDEA.
Really ?!?!?
Really ?!?!?
Hurry and get yours before the are gone...AGAIN!
Hurry and get yours before the are gone...AGAIN!

Epic FAIL

My son's new phrase is "Epic Fail!" and the other day...this really got me thinking. My epic fails cost practically nothing but for corporate giants....epic fails cost millions. This could be why we are seeing so many "copy-cat" products these days unlike the fantastic 80's. the 80's were filled with big hair, bright colors, innovation, and failed products. Even the 90's had its fair share of items that are the butt of jokes...now its like there are no original ideas left. Here are 10 that I can't seem to forget...how many do you remember?

Here they are...in no particular order...

EPIC FAIL #1 - New COKE - In 1985, the Coca-Cola company decided that the may need to alter their famous recipe to rival and dominate their biggest competitor - Pepsi. Traditional Coca Cola fans fought back and protested forcing Coca-Cola to abandon their new idea bringing about the death of New Coke.

EPIC FAIL #2 - The Burple - I remember begging my mom for these silly things. They were expandable and collapsible containers that were filled with a kool aid like substance. You could even turn these guys into sweet squirt guns! Did they fail? Not sure I can't find out what happened to them. Do you know?!?

EPIC FAIL #3 - McPizza - Even giants like McDonalds make mistakes every once in a while. I loved the Pizza and my family went in all of the time for the pizza. I can even sing the stinking commercial! Imagine the cost that they endured to implement their plan for pizza domination...ovens, pizza racks, seasonings, development, etc. It didn't last very long at all BUT I hear that there were some hold out franchisees that still make McPizza. Wait a minute....how did it fit out of the drive thru window...Oh wait, it didn't!

EPIC FAIL #4 - Crystal Pepsi - This sweet little gem lasted only 1 year. From 1992- 1993 you could pick up a healthier option to your traditional "brown" pepsi. Crystal pepsi was introduced as a better alternative as it was caffeine free and lighter. Coke followed suit and launched tab clear. Despite Crystal Pepsi's huge take off, both products were short lived. There was even a spin off drink that failed too. There were (and still are) online petitions begging for the return and pepsi even attempted the rebirth as "Pepsi clear" and "Diet pepsi clear" but so far--no successful revival has happened. RIP Crystal Pepsi, pepsi clear, and whatever other pepsi products void of color you attempt.

EPIC FAIL #5 - Bud Light Lime - Maybe this isn't a fail as it is still being sold but it certainly as created a love/hate relationship between fans of Budweiser. This ultra lime-y beer has thousands of "I hate bud light lime" themed websites and facebook pages yet still sells. You remember the saying about bad press..totally applies here. Even the Bud-a-rita is still around!

EPIC FAIL #6 - The USFL (United States Footbal League) this was launched in 1982 trough an effort involving Donald trump. Despite difficulties in the planning, the USFL made it out of the first season and added teams. In 1984, Donald trump urged the league to do battle with the NFL by switching up the season and going head to head with the giant. Bad move....the league ended in 1985 and costs almost 200 million in losses.

EPIC FAIL #7 - Windows vista - for many of us...enough said. Launched by Microsoft in 2007 this evil operating system was basically unusable causing many to purchase different versions of windows or even to revert to older more stable versions. Microsoft did what they do best...and came out with another product making the failure time very short lived.

EPIC FAIL #8 - The Lazer disc - do you remember..before DVDs when large shiny discs the size of records were all the rage? First introduced in 1978, these offered a better picture and more "extras" like our DVDs have now that the VHS tapes couldn't touch. Right idea...wrong design. These dinosaurs were taken out by the smaller- more compact - DVD.

EPIC FAIL #9 - Dumbell Utensils - These are legit. The creator was tired of his failed dieting so designed these 1.5 pound utensils to make each bite a little bit more difficult. These may still be available at $19.95 per set but never caught on mainstream. The inventor says that they did help him to lose weight BUT he doesn't know how much...he doesn't have a scale...C'mon.

EPIC FAIL #10 - The DeLorean - Yes....fans of Michael J Fox will remember this as the time machine from the movie trilogy "Back to the Future". These went into production in 1981 and only 1 model was produced before production came to a stop in 1982. It is said that about 9,000 DeLoreans were sold in that time frame. BUT WAIT...They are back....well, kinda. A businessman acquired the logo and rights and is now selling these gems both used and custom! You can check them out at www.delorean.com!

So that's my list. There were other notables like bottled pet water, bic underwear, Colgate meals, etc BUT i went for a mix of oldies, new items, and the ones that I miss the most. How many of these do you remember? What is your favorite...here then gone item? Please reflect, remember the good times, and share the love! They may be gone from the store selves....but they are always in our hearts.


R.I.P

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    • Mommymay profile image
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      Heather May 4 years ago from Ohio

      No problem! That is probably the nicest thing that I will be called all day! I answer to anything!

    • Mazzy Bolero profile image

      Mazzy Bolero 4 years ago from the U.K.

      By the way, mommymay, I want to apologize for calling you Crazy Gata! I guess I went cross-eyed and took the name from that hubber's comment rather than yours. I promise I won't do it again:)

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 4 years ago from West By God

      No Vista lover. I hate it actually but am stuck with it.

    • Mommymay profile image
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      Heather May 4 years ago from Ohio

      Lady Guinevere - a vista lover? or just stuck with it?!? kidding. We all have the things we like and get used to! I loved crystal pepsi!!!! Guess the rest of the world didn't catch up to me genius!

    • Mommymay profile image
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      Heather May 4 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks Kasman! I so wanted a Delorean and would drive one now if I could afford it....not the new ones---an original! Eh...who am I kidding, I would be lucky to get in and out of one these days! I am feeling older by the minute!

    • Mommymay profile image
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      Heather May 4 years ago from Ohio

      It was pretty darn good....I think you can buy them on Ebay but would you really drink it?!?!? Heh...worth it!

    • FullOfLoveSites profile image

      FullOfLoveSites 4 years ago from United States

      I actually want a Crystal Pepsi, out of curiosity... Hehehehe.

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 4 years ago from West By God

      I remember Crystal Pepsi and I still run Windows Vista on my laptop.

    • Kasman profile image

      Kas 4 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Yep, I remember old laserdiscs only because I know people who still have a few of them and players. I'm amazed they still work. I had a big thing for the delorean back in the day myself. Introduced to it through back to the future series but amazed that didn't give it the bump it needed to keep going! Great hub down memory lane, voting up mommymAy!

    • Mommymay profile image
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      Heather May 4 years ago from Ohio

      Sunshine625 thank you for reading! I remember being so mad that my parents wouldn't upgrade to the laser disc. They really were bulky. I bet the guy who invented them was upset hat he didn't think to make them just a bit smaller...then again I believe I remember a failed mini dvd too....

    • Mommymay profile image
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      Heather May 4 years ago from Ohio

      There certainly was a real Delorean. Sort lived but coveted! New Coke (to me) was yuck...crystal pepsi was pretty good. A bit different but way better than the lime coke!

    • Mommymay profile image
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      Heather May 4 years ago from Ohio

      Hello MazzyBolero! Thank you for reading! I think that Dasani story is the best that I have ever heard...now I want to find some failed slogans!!! Dasani still sells here in the states but minus that tagline of course! I almost fell out of my chair laughing!

    • Mommymay profile image
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      Heather May 4 years ago from Ohio

      Hawaiianodysseus...you and that bobblehead! I recently tried my hand at a penny auction...it was a brand new nike golf shirt--talk about epic fail! Thanks for reading and reminding me of my epic fail...I will leave those auctions to you!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      The first time I saw a laser disc was at Goodwill for $1.99. I had no idea what they were or that a laser disc player existed. The disc is gigantic I can understand why it was an epic fail.

    • Alecia Murphy profile image

      Alecia Murphy 4 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

      There was a real Delorean? Sorry, but no thanks. And crystal pepsi and new coke just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Great list!

    • Mazzy Bolero profile image

      Mazzy Bolero 4 years ago from the U.K.

      Great fun to read, Crazy Gata! The funniest one I can remember is when Coca Cola launched a brand of bottled water called Dasani in the UK. They had ads that called it "bottled spunk". Someone obviously hadn't done their homework, as "spunk" in the UK is slang for semen!! Unsurprisingly, the product didn't sell at all, they quickly had to withdraw it and lost millions. I wonder if the guy who came up with that slogan is still in his job:)

    • hawaiianodysseus profile image

      Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

      Epic Fail? Spiderman Bobble Head with a starting bid of 1 cent. Haha!

      Thanks for sharing this information, Heather. I'd forgotten about several of these...which underscores your point, of course. I like your ability to find the "unusual suspects" to write about. Keep 'em coming!

    • Mommymay profile image
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      Heather May 4 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks Crazy gata! I think that there are more than 10 for sure!!! I am addicted to Pepsi and can't seem to break the habit even though there are hundreds of reasons why I should!

    • Mommymay profile image
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      Heather May 4 years ago from Ohio

      Thank you Cyndi10 for reading and for sharing! the pizza wasn't bad and mu husband wanted to smack me for calling Bud Lime a flop...he LOVES it!!! Even households can be divided over products!!

    • Mommymay profile image
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      Heather May 4 years ago from Ohio

      I bet you are right but the Burple was so fun. Someone told me you can buy them on nostalgic candy websites.....I am checking it out for sure! Thank you so much for the shares!

    • CrazyGata profile image

      CrazyGata 4 years ago from Puerto Rico

      Another good hub could be "TEN ways in which Coca Cola is an epic failure". Good read, voted up.

    • Cyndi10 profile image

      Cynthia B Turner 4 years ago from Georgia

      Fun to read. I do like Bud Lime, but then I don't actually beer. Maybe there is some kind of correlation to that. I don remember a McPizza. It must have been regional even in the US. I can see why they would want to corner that market too, but that sure was a stretch. Voted up and tweeting, too.

    • Brett.Tesol profile image

      Brett Caulton 4 years ago from Thailand

      Up, funny and interesting. I'm surprised that The Burple was a flop, seemed like a good idea. Many of these I remember, except for the McPizza ... probably died before it made the UK! lol

      Shared, pinned, tweeted.

    • Mommymay profile image
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      Heather May 4 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks KiffeeKlatch Gals! I wish they would bring it back:) Thanks for reading!

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Haze 4 years ago from Sunny Florida

      I don't remember McDonalds trying to sell pizza. I can undrstand it not working though. I remember most of these failures. Fun hub.

    • Mommymay profile image
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      Heather May 4 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks Eiddwen! It was fun remembering these and then not so fun seeing how old I have become!

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      So interesting;I loved it and vote up.

      eddy.