10 Top Tips for Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse

If the medium of television, films and video games, is to be accepted as a trusted marker for the shape of things to come. It is logical to assume that a Zombie invasion or full scale Zombie Apocalypse is just around the corner. Maybe the entertainment industry have been secretly preparing us for the day when the vast majority of this planet discover their appetite for the other, other meat!

Seriously!

Zombies seem to have overtaken the Vampire as the creature that we should fear the most. So, whether the population is turned by an alien parasite, an escaped government experiment or a massive outbreak caused by a Voodoo curse. It seems that we as potential prey should be taking the threat more seriously.

I know for sure I am! So having devoted a good few hours of my time, I have come up with some solutions, ideas and suggestions to assist us in the upcoming unstoppable global crisis in which we will see Zombies everywhere!

One of the major problems with the impending Zombie Apocalypse is....

Well, by the time you notice it's happening, it may already be too late! Take a look at the people who surround you on the street, the kid sat next to you with the headphones on full blast as you travel on the bus or on the underground.

You could be seconds away from becoming a Zombie's happy meal, and I for one do not want to be food for the Zombie. The way to stop being the Zombie equivalent of fast food is to open your eyes and really notice what is going on. Are the people at the bus stop really waiting for the bus, or are they in fact waiting to have an all you can eat finger buffet with you as the main ingredient?

So by remaining vigilant and being suspicious of those around you. You will stand a good chance of becoming a survivor or even a hero of the Zombie Apocalypse.

1/ It is a good idea to have a couple of bags of marbles with you at all times. If you are about to be surrounded by a horde of Zombies, just drop those toys of childhood to the ground. Then you can watch the Zombies loose their footing on those glass balls.

2/ Planning and preparation is the key to survival, but if you set traps or snares to catch Zombies or wild animals. You have got to remember where you placed them. Injuring yourself on your own trap is embarrassing, but to die by your own ingenuity is unforgivable.

3/ If you set up a camp, make sure there is open ground around you. That way you can see upcoming threats. Camping in a woodland area means your field of vision will be impaired and you could easily find an enemy stumbles into your safe haven from the thick foliage.

4/ You can make a sturdy shield from numerous different materials. A table, doors or panels can protect your body from infectious Zombie bites. Shields are useful, even if it is just a lid from a trash can. They can even be an offensive weapon- just ask Captain America or the Spartans!

5/ The bow and the arrow are a primitive technology by modern standards. But come the Zombie Apocalypse, it will be a weapon that is worth its weight in gold. Unlike a gun, an arrow will not create a loud noise that will draw the Zombies towards you. An arrow can also be reused after firing and requires only a minimal amount of upkeep, to ensure it can last a while. The arrow is cheap to make from the environment and does not require an industrial process or numerous materials to produce. So, a basic understanding of how to use a bow and arrow is needed by everyone.

6/ If you wear multiple layers, a Zombie bite will not break the skin. Although this is not ideal in the summer time, increasing the padding between your delicate skin and a Zombie's infectious bite is a prudent survival technique. Heavy woollen clothes will deflect much of a Zombie's attack upon you and may give you additional time to get away from their onslaught.

7/ Electrocution may disrupt a Zombie brain. Given that most brains have some electrical energy firing them, it is very likely that a Zombie will still have some sparking of neurons as it goes about its predatory and mindless business. The use of tazers, cattle prods and electric fences may offer you a valuable tool in your efforts to survive the Zombie Apocalypse.

8/ Any spirit over 40% in alcoholic proof is flammable. So it is possible to create a device that can cause injury to, slow down or distract the hungry Zombie.

9/ Use a pitchfork over a spear, 3 prongs is better than one. A pitch fork is a tool that can become a very useful weapon. It can be used to keep the Zombies back, by keeping them away from your central mass. It can also cause large amounts of damage if swung in an area free of obstructions. It can also use both the handle and the prongs as offensive weapons. The prongs can impale and sever inside the enemies skull, whereas the handle can create a large amount of damage with its capacity for blunt force trauma.

10/ Hide emergency rations everywhere! Even before the Zombie Apocalypse begins. Why not hide small tins filled with rations and useful items under the ground. Come the Zombie Apocalypse, the most basic items that we take for granted will quickly become luxury items.

To defend yourself, your fellow survivors or even your dwindling resources. You are going to have to get your hands dirty. In a Zombie Apocalypse it is a kill or be killed scenario, so pacifism is not a personal belief to hold on to. If the Zombies are the lumbering slow moving creatures of most films and television shows, then bullets will only be effective if they can destroy the brain stem. Firing an ammo clip into the heart is pointless, especially if the Zombie is not actively using that organ to survive.

The general consensus is that a blow, a bullet or a stab to the head will stop the relentless hordes in their un-dead tracks. Any thoughts of poison or germ warfare would be useless on such creatures, as they are no longer living flesh. I doubt fire would be a decent offensive weapon on the Zombies, it may burn the flesh off them in time but they may still may function as walking skeletons.

NOTE:

Although the idea of a chainsaw is an old Zombie movie staple, in practice against a group of Zombies it is a luxury. If the Zombie Virus is blood born you may get infected from the back spray. Also, cutting through Zombie after Zombie would be a labour intensive exercise.

The shotgun is essential for popping the heads off of the undead and most shotgun shells offer a larger radius of destruction than a simple bullet.

Of course where you find yourself when the Zombies attack, will impact your chances of survival. If you happen to be in a sports venue, there are many effective weapons and tools that you could utilize. In America, you could lay your hands on baseball bats, hockey sticks, football padding and other protective sporting equipment. Around the world there are numerous sporting arenas that contain guns, bows, cricket bats, swords and javelins. Each of these weapons in the right hands could increase your odds of survival.

I would personally favour a sporting arena as there are many areas where you are secure and there will be ample supplies of food and drink. Some stadiums can hold over a 100,000 people so they must have supplies to cope with their food and drink demands. They would also have a well stocked supply of medical supplies and the structure would be one that any government agencies would look to use as a emergency station.