10 Ways To Occupy Yourself In Prison
It was nearly a perfect crime but I forgot to wipe my fingerprints from the cartridges, and now here I am. It is 10.50 pm and it will be lights out soon so I don't have much time. So, for today, I just thought that I'd share with you my New Year resolutions for 2009.
1. I would think of very creative ways to entertain the judge who got me here in the first place.
2. Take up ice scrupling. Hey, they can't charge me if they can't find a weapon, right? And I don't have to worry about fingerprints either. (See the first point)
3. Take up a lock picking class as a guy's gotta make a living when he gets out. :)
4. Might as well take up computer hacking as well. I heard that it's hard, and I'm no genius, but then, the Windows operating system should be around for quite some time.
5. Get a female pen pal as girls dig prison inmates. I wonder if I can get her to bake a cake with a file inside.
6. Watch Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lamb - he's my hero man. He's like so cold-blooded and his technique is so exquisite, it gives me the shivers.
7. Get into fights as everybody needs a hobby.
8. Become a born again Christian as I heard that it gets you out faster.
9. Seems that supplying stuff to inmates is big business. I will make friends with Lenny and see if he will let me be his man on the outside when I get out. If I play my cards right, I might just be able to retire early.
10. Tell BullDog that it's just not going to work out between us. I know he's a real nice guy but I'm just not interested. I have to figure out a way to tell him so that I don't hurt his feelings.