5 Ways Writers Should Kill Cersei from Game of Thrones.
Cersei Lannister is the most diabolical character even surpassing her son Joffrey. It is clear that the writers of the show have not only disconnected with its fan base, but have disconnected with the characters too. Clearly they literally want to save-face when it comes to the death of these over paid actors. The writers do not want the actors to suffer the fate of so many gruesome deaths before. Ultimately, it sickens me that we have waited for the death of this b&*(#@ for 8 seasons, and we get a brown, crushing blackout. Yet so many others, the Hound, the Mountain, The Creepy Necro Guy, the hippie lady in the street, her daughter, have dignified deaths. I am simply appalled.
1. Arya Waiting In The Shadows
I half-fantasized, as the Mountain choke holds the Hound against the wall, Arya, to come leaping out of the Shadows with Cersei's head in her hand to begin beating the Mountain with it. Yet this is not how I envisioned this article to read.
Cersei, after walking by the Hound, giving her scared, innocent look into the Hound's face, walks down the stairs into the map on the floor room, where Arya, is waiting. Arya, begins to pace the room, chanting her list of names she wants to kill, one by one, as these characters deaths play out on screen, one by one. She gets to the final name, Cersei, stabbing sound, gurgles maybe, cut frame, black screen, assumed death of Cersei. Still better than what we got.
Jamie is waiting in the map room thing, as Cersei sees him, they embrace, turns out it's Arya, she stabs Cersei then takes off Jamie's face.
2. Reversal of the Creepy Guy's Death
There was so much potential for this final scene, where the Hound squares off with the Mountain. There was so much room for collateral damage. How pitiful is it that the Creepy Necro Guy got more of a death than Cersei.. Ugh!
Enter frame, the Hound says his "Hello Big Brother" thing, Creepy Guy and Cersei cower to the falling rocks and the Hound. This is it. The Queen's guard of course die as they did, and the Creepy Guy tucks into an assball. Cersei calls to the Mountain, and is subsequently killed by crushing from the Mountain and a big rock. The Creepy Guy gets a collateral damage kill in the ensuing fight, and the world is all the more merrier.
3. Cersei Is Captured By Jon Snow, Kills Jamie In Sword Fight
I could go many ways with this. Jon, missed his opportunity to kill the Night King, and we all feel robbed because Arya got the kill. Again, at this point I am so disconnected with the characters, I could care less how they died. However, for Cersei, this is a vendetta.
Jon, after making his way through the City, approaches the red keep where he sees Cersei high tailing it to the underbelly tunnels of the city. Jamie, after a fresh fight he enjoyed with Euron, stammers into the room. Jamies stares at Jon, Jon looks at Cersei, Cersei looks back at Jamie. Jon lunges, big sword fight with Jamie. Jamie ultimately dies. Cersei, gets executed in the next episode right where Ned Stark died.
4. Jamie Mercy Kills Cersei Before She's Captured
The last three both involved Jamie, half because Jamie deserves to be there when Cersei dies, but also because it was predicted that Cersei would die by the hands of her little brother.
Just as Jon bursts through the door and the Dothraki come to kill Cersei and string her up, Jamie, wraps her gold chain around her neck and strangles her before she can be captured. She turns a light bluish purple and falls to the floor. Jamie dies from his wounds against Euron.
5. Cersei Cliché Falls From Height Slowly To Her Demise
Every Monday morning, my friends and I discuss the last night's episode with hate and disgust because the series is ending worse than LOST. We wait with anticipation that this has all been a big wet fart in a dark room, God, put them on this version of Earth for them to find each other before they die or some dumb shit. So with that, I came up with the best ending for the diabolical b#^&$ we call Cersei.
Jamie makes it to Cersei before the Red Keep closes and the fight with Euron never happens. Together Jamie and Cersei watch with horror as the city burns. Danny, flies up the Red Keep much as she does in the episode and begins to destroy the castle, the castle crumbles and Cersei slips. Jamie, cliché reaches out as Cersei falls and she catches his gold hand. As rocks fall and dust plumes, Jamie says some more cliché, I love you bullshit, then the glove slips off, (or she lets go or something). She slow motion, Nakatomi Tower, falls into a fireball mixture of green and red flame as she slowly melts and sets fire on the way down.
Instead of the cliché, I will always love you, death-grip fall thing, Jamie leans in, whispers in Cersei's Ear "The things you do for love." then belts her ass off into the flame and fire.
Danny flies up as Jamie, Cersei, Mountain vs Hound, Dead Creepy Necro Guy, and Arya, All there, all having some discourse, Danny says Dracarys, Dragon fills room with fire. End.. Shows over. No one cares. I hate Game of Thrones officially for ruining the last season. I will not be watching the spin-offs. You have lost my business.
Would you like to see a death added to the list?
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