ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

6 Terrible Things That Will Make Your Professor Feel Sexually Confused

Updated on April 28, 2018

*This article is purely for comical relief purposes only, not meant to be taken seriously or be offensive.

There is nothing better than an old school practical joke of sexually confusing the man who could potentially fail you out of college. Whether he is straight, gay, bi, pan or any other variation of sexual orientation, are you able to mask his certainty with a hint of doubt? Are you trying to trick your professor into a night in bed with you? Or maybe just gather up some good blackmail for those failing grades. Regardless the reason, you will find yourself wondering how exactly to make this straight man or woman lose their ambitions and become sexually confused.

What does it mean to make your professor sexually confused though? Well, put simply, you are making them question their own sexuality. Breaking them from their straight ways, dropping the gay bug in their mind, resulting in them potentially doing things they wouldn't normally do... or they end having an identity crisis.

The Main Goal

The main goal of this course of action is a combination of curiosity and boredom to see if you are able to make someone question their sexuality. Once they are in a state of biconfusion, then the question is, are you able to sway their sexual preference in your favor? For a student, you are able to obtain many rewards from this. Better grades, class pet status (possibly in more than one way), decent blackmail, public humiliation, getting a bad professor fired. The possibilities are truly endless.

How to Make Your Professor Feel Sexually Confused:

So now we get down to the nitty gritty. How do you sexually confuse a straight professor? Well, the answers aren’t as hard as you think. The following is a list full of possible ways to make your professor feel sexually confused.

1. Target Weaknesses, Using that Psychology Education

Using the extensive knowledge of psychology that you have learned in class in between your naps and texting, you could easily manipulate your professor into having confusing thoughts on their own sexuality.

2. Party with the Pro

If you are looking for a morally questionable method, you could always lure your professor to a party, club, or anywhere alcohol exists. Get them nice and toasty, or roofie them, just get them out of their normal state of mind.

From there, have a friend in drag, or dress in drag yourself, and get as many 'bad' pictures that you can. Over time send the pictures to your profession with messages that hint at a wonderful night that he enjoyed, but doesn't remember. When sending email to professors like this, remember to create a fake email.

3. Reverse Psychology

The goal of this method is to leave your professor wondering “am I bisexual, gay, or straight?” by the time you walk away. This is very dependent on the type of professor you have. However, if they are the helpful type, strike up a conversation that hints that you are confused and need help on figuring out your bisexual confusion.

One concept is to say you took an “are you gay or straight quiz” on Facebook. Other forms include the bisexual test or gay test.

4. Let Go of Biphobia

It's 2018, let go of that biphobia and be yourself professor. Don't be scared of potential connections of the same sex. Convince the professor that it is normal to be bisexual in this day and age.

5.Sexually Scared, or Sexually Confused?

This is the ideal question to ask your professor. Combined with reverse psychology, you are able to transition a conversation from them believing they are helping you, to you helping them. Let's see if they are able to catch on.

6. Set Them Up

Like other normal functioning adults, professors tend to be sexually active too, as well as underpaid. So anonymously send coupons and gift cards to them for a local adult store. Watch the location to try and catch them showing up or checking out, then strike up a conversation about what they are getting, or you can just use what they are getting to hold over their head for a while.

Remember to make it look like a coincidence.

To Summarize

Whether you are trying to discover how to email your professor as a prank, get with your professor, embarrass them, or have dirt on them for different gains, you have several options to confusing them sexually. From Psychology to pharmaceuticals, you have options to making your professor think they are biconfused, or even gay.

Have you ever pranked a professor?

See results

If Yes, was it successful?

See results

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2018 Billy Haynes



This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)