A Funny Grandpa Story

This story is 90 percent true. It needs pictures to go with it - preferably drawn by young people. No money is offered: just the "fame and glory" of having a drawing published. Submit a freehand drawing as a .jpeg file in an email. I look forward to seeing your ideas about how Grandpa, Mike, and Mrs. Mike look! :)

Once upon a time, there was a boy. When he was a little boy and a medium boy and a big boy, he did not always follow the rules. So when he turned into a man, he was pretty much set in his ways.

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He liked adventure. If he had been born in the time of pirates or knights and dragons, he would have had the perfect life.

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But he was a very happy man. He made fun times for his friends and himself whenever he could. Life was good.

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This man got married, had children, and then was blessed with grandchildren. That’s when he changed his name to Grandpa.

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Grandpa’s best friend, Mike, lived far away from him. Grandpa would always visit Mike at the end of May for a long holiday weekend. Since Grandpa was good at yard work and fixing things, he always brought his toolbox on the visit.

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Mike and Grandpa would laugh and tell jokes and silly stories. Whenever they got together, they smiled so big that their lips stretched from one ear to the other. They always had a few jobs to do in the yard and house, too. When they were done with their work, they would play cards and laugh some more. But ONE year, their yard work turned into an adventure.

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The job was to trim the ends off tree branches so that the backyard could get more sunshine on a swimming pool. Since Grandpa knew how to do many outdoor jobs, he and Mike thought this would be easy. They got all the tools and brought a radio outside to listen to music while they worked.

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Clip, snip, plip. Zzzzaw, zzzaw, zzzaw. Grandpa stood on a ladder cutting, and Mike picked up the twigs. The first bushes and small trees were easy to fix. But then Grandpa and Mike saw a problem.

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Uh-oh. The biggest tree making shade was not in Mike’s yard. It was past the fence, in his neighbor’s yard. His neighbor had a little woods right there next to Mike’s swimming pool.

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Mike went next door to ask his neighbors if he could trim their tree. But the neighbors were not home. They had gone away for the holiday. This was a problem. Grandpa would not be there with his tools after the holiday was over. They could not work on the tree together.

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Grandpa did not see it as a problem. He was very proud of his tools and his new chainsaw. He thought that the neighbor’s woods were big and that the neighbor wouldn’t miss one tree. Grandpa said, “I know how to cut trees down. We can sneak over and quickly cut that one tree and take it away. The neighbor will never know.”

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Mike thought and thought and thought. He knew it was wrong to take something that does not belong to you. But, whatever the good angels and bad devils were saying to his conscience, the good ones lost the argument. Mike said, “OK.”

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They pretended that they were knights on an adventure. They snuck their ladder and tools over the fence into the neighbor’s woods. Grandpa felt very sure about how to cut the tree so that it would fall on plain ground and not hurt anything. He was the boss and Mike was the helper.

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Once Grandpa got up on the ladder and started sawing, he did not need any help. So, Mike picked up small trimmers and started cutting away a few bushes in the neighbor’s woods.

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Kerr-Racck! The tree broke too soon and was falling. “Run, Mike, run!” Grandpa yelled.

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Mike jumped just before the tree swooshed by. The tree did not fall on plain ground. It fell on the bush where Mike had been. It fell on the fence. It fell on a lamp-post and a table with the radio. They all broke.

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This was a BIG mess. Naughty Grandpa! Naughty Mike! They were very scared because the top of the tree was in the swimming pool. Mrs. Mike was going to be very mad.

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Mrs. Mike was away at the store buying food for their holiday picnic supper. What would they do? She would be back soon.

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Grandpa dragged his ladder and tools back to Mike’s yard. He started using his chainsaw to cut the fallen tree into pieces. Mike fixed the table, but the radio was a pile of parts.

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Ms. Painter had been inside the house doing jobs. When she heard all the ruckus, she came out. She and Mike and Grandpa chopped up the tree and put it in the trash pile. They cleaned the leaves from the pool and swept all around with a broom.

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They could not fix the fence right away, but they measured what parts they needed to buy.

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Then Mrs. Mike came back. She could tell that something was wrong. She saw the look on their faces. So, Grandpa and Mike told her the whole story.

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“Shame, shame, shame on you , Grandpa!” said Mrs. Mike. “I know you were trying to be a helper, but you may not bring your chainsaw to our house ever again!”

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Then they went in the house and played cards. Grandpa and Mike had to go to the hardware store and fix the fence. They also had to go to the neighbor and tell about the trees and fence. Lucky for them, the neighbor was not too angry as long as they fixed everything and paid for everything.

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Grandpa has done some very good things in his life. He has donated blood and driven sick people to their doctor appointments. He has planted trees and been a good brother to his sisters. But, this was not a good thing to do. When Grandpa goes to Heaven, he will need to give those neighbors a back-rub and paint their toenails and do other good deeds, to make up for his naughty act.

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Anywhere in the story where you see a line of tildes (this symbol ~), I need a picture. Pick one or several to illustrate. Thanks a bunch!