A Letter To Kate Gosselin

Dear Kate,

I hope this letter finds you well. I’ve been meaning to write to you for a couple of years now as I’m a fan of your show. I watch because I enjoy seeing your children interact with each other. I believe them to not only be cute, but also opinionated and, most importantly, united.

I understand that you’re having to deal (yet again) with some bad press. You apparently were caught spanking your daughter, Leah, after she wouldn’t stop blowing a toy whistle. Looking at the pictures (especially if you center on the reaction of Cara and Mady), you would think you were punching the life out of your daughter. As I’m sure you don’t spank your children often, this action must’ve come as a shock to Leah, hence the tears and the rubbing of the bum. I’m a little confused as to why you spanked her though instead of sending her for a time out. Watching the show, I was under the impression that you and Jon didn’t believe in physically punishing your children. I thought you opted to use time outs and loss of privileges as punishments? Perhaps I’ll have to track down some old episodes to see if I’m mistaken.

Growing up, my mother spanked my brothers and I when we did something wrong. It didn’t matter where we were at the time. If we misbehaved, we were spanked. I can still remember the time when (I think I was Leah’s age) I wouldn’t stop talking in church and my mom escorted me to the lobby and spanked me. One of the ushers saw this happen and gave us a look. It wasn’t a look to reprimand my mom for hitting me, but rather one that that made it clear that good children don’t talk in church. I’m sure though if my mom were raising me today and hit me in church the reaction from the usher would be much different.

My point in telling you this story is to illustrate how much the times have changed. When we were coming up, it was acceptable to spank your children. Nowadays, spanking is considered borderline (if not all out) child abuse. Though the slaps are coming from the same place, the reaction will never be the same. You just can’t spank your children anymore, especially in public and especially if you’re a public figure. People are expecting you to prove that you’re the worst mother in the world. Considering the modern-day opinion, by spanking Leah in public, you are giving people proof.

I’ve also read that you’re so attached to your cell phone that you ignore the children when they need you. Not only that, but I’ve also heard the rumors that you’ve become a bit of drinker and that you've got a boyfriend in your bodyguard. You also apparently enjoy firing people for no reason and have alienated your brother, Kevin, and his family because of a fight over money. With all of these rumors flying around, what will it take for you to come back down to Earth and realize that this show has ruined not only your reputation, but the relationships you have with your husband and your children? The time has come for you to quit the show and to return to the life you had before cameras started rolling.

You have repeatedly said that the show is your job and that without the show you wouldn’t be able to support your children. I know this may sound unreasonable considering the lifestyle you’ve become accustom too as of late, but, if downsized your house and cut back on needless expenses, you could stop shooting today and your family probably would have enough money to last you for years. Also, I’m sure that as long as your family did an appearance or two a year, some of your sponsors would still be willing to give you free stuff. I know it would be difficult to adjust to no longer being in the limelight, but, if you really want to save your family, you need to pick them over the show.

When the show began, I envied the relationship you had with Jon. Knowing far too many women who are single parents, it is clear that even the best men run when they are faced with becoming a father to one child let alone multiple children. Your guy stuck by you despite his worries about how he would support you all and how he could be a good father to so many. From the beginning, it was obvious that you guys weren’t perfect. You fight about minor things too frequently to ignore. You call him names and belittle him in each show. He ignores your wishes and mocks your parenting behind your back. True, the producers probably only show what they want to show/what will keep people coming back for more. Yet, for you both to say these things even once a month says to me that there’s a lot going on beneath the surface. It shouldn’t take him being photographed with a mistress for you to finally take note of how bad things are.

Even though you both love your children, I’m positive that you resent them for adding stress to your lives and, as a result, changing your relationship. To summarize the opening of your show, you signed on for one more child and got six. (Your fertility drugs certainly gave you a kick in the butt!) Given the chance to eliminate some of the embryos, being that you both are religious, you thought this was unthinkable. God had given you six lives and you were going to proudly parent them no matter what it did to your finances or martial relationship. I can only imagine how much easier your life would’ve been had you only given birth to the one you had planned on. Still, the drama didn’t really happen until you signed on to do this show. Though they are the reason why you were offered a show, they aren’t the reason why it’s still on the air.

If your show were to be cancelled today, a part of me would be sad. As I said in the beginning, I like your children and enjoy watching them grow up. However, I’m sure I speak for America when I say the time has come for you to end the show and to return to the life you lead before you became the person you are today. Jon has made it clear that he no longer wishes to be a public figure and that he would prefer to raise the children privately. You need to make the same decision. The children need a mother. This woman in a bikini who writes books about her children, but who is never around for them, needs to go.

Best Wishes,

LW

*This letter was written months before Jon and Kate divorced and with the best intentions.