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American Idol Top 4

Updated on March 15, 2011

I hardly ever watch Ryan's opening speech, but I heard about the pre-show drama so I wanted to see if they addressed it. I know some kats who were there when the set had its own mini-apocalypse. The huge sign fell and glass shattered everywhere, and a crew member fell off the stage leading to an ambulance ride. All they needed was for someone to come down with the swine flu, and they would have been set. Pure, insanity.

On another important note, why was Kara dressed like Sandy at the carnival in Grease? Is that her stylist's interpretation of "rock and roll"? Speaking of confusing, I can't believe Slash decided to mentor these idiot kids. I'm perplexed. Based on his statements, are we supposed to infer that he wanted to come on the show because of Adam Lambert? In all reality, Slash is just another dude with an album to pimp. Oh, commercialism!

Adam was super-juiced for this week. For his portrayal of a rock star, he busted out his extra special manliner and laid it on thick. He even selected a shirt with a v-neck down to his belly button. I'm glad he decided against black leather pants. His vocals during "Whole Lotta Love" by Led Zeppelin weren't as terrible as his dancing. He chose a great song to do the Adam-Lambert-I-heart-screeching thing. I think he's much better with a very loud band to sort of drown his cries of death. Kara got really worked up during his critique and sounded absurd. I also believe they were styled by the same person. No good.

I have to say that I'm impressed by Adam's hairstylist for digging up fuchsia-colored extensions for Allison. That's just art. Allison singing Janis annoyed me because Allison annoys me. (Sidebar: Does that song remind anyone else of Look Who's Talking? Just me? Of course.) However, I didn't think she was bad at all, but the first half was way better than the second. It was like she ran out of steam by the end--like she had shouted too much and her rasp turned into horse. Why did she feel the need to respond to everything the judges have ever said to her? It's nice she stood up for herself, but she should have picked one comment, instead of all of them. I'm glad she didn't just lay down and beg like Simon suggested. Good for her. Now, go pack your bags, it's time to head back to high school!

I did not like the duets. I don't think they were a good idea in the slightest. First of all, how were the pairs chosen? Obviously, Adam and Allison were going to dominate in this genre. Secondly, the judges didn't even know how to critique them. Were they supposed to say who was better than the other? Was it a mini-sing off? Their comments added absolutely nothing. Kris and Danny's harmonies during "Renegade" were off the chain. Danny's gruff complemented Kris's smoothness. The rest was kind of a mess, but I would say that Danny was the better of the two (if that was the point?). Kris looked defeated after that, and then had to go sing right after. Poor planning.

When I look at Kris, I think puppies and rainbows. Not angst, groupies, or even roadies. This is not his genre; he's too squeaky clean in both image and vocal tone (I'm pretending to know what that means). It's like John Mayer singing Metallica. However, he picked a song he could get into so that was good. Plus, he got the chance to play his guitar alongside Slash during their mentoring session, which is pretty badass. Kris looked so miserable again during his solo judging. It just wasn't his night. I was pretty surprised to see him last another week-but I'm elated.

Oh horror-movie Danny. Slash wasn't so sure about the song choice, and he was right. "Dream On" Danny for thinking you were going to hit that note. He should have just envisioned himself as Adam for that few seconds and screamed like someone was tying his corset too tight. It goes without saying that he should have chosen a different song, but you could tell he definitely put effort into it. Sometimes our toils are fruitless, my friend. At least he didn't try to dress like a rock star impersonator. If nothing else, I appreciate that.

Genre timing is so crucial, and I wonder if it is laid out before the start of the season. Michael Sarver was still around for Country week, and was expected to perform like Adam did this week. "Slow Ride" would have come out completely different if either Adam or Allison wasn't on the show for this genre. Or a duet with those two might not have been so amazing if it were Country or Disco week. Rock duets are not easy. Maybe they should have a three-man boy band-type performance next week with the remaining menz. That would be pure entertainment to see what Adam's outfit would be.

Results show:

Was it hypocritical of Paula Abdul to lip synch on the American Idol stage? Honestly, she's more of a dancer than a singer so maybe that justifies it. However, she's there to judge the vocal talents of the contestants (this ain't no So You Think You Can Dance?), so it seems wrong to me. No Doubt definitely was singing live. They also decided to take us back to 1996 with "Just a Girl" complete with Gwen rocking the same outfit she wore in the video. That really confused me. A lot.

Allison got sent home, even though she wasn't the worst Tuesday night, by any stretch. She'll be just fine. It was difficult for me to put the remaining four in order because overall it was a rough episode. Instead, I'll say that I would like to see Danny and Kris in the finale, but that's not likely. No matter what, all of them-including Allison--are going to be a-ok. Most fallen Idols end up with a record deal, or on Broadway (or drugs...).


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