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Angel Michael's Secrets - Why "End it All?" - Part Seven

Updated on November 18, 2016

Angel Michael Lived Many Lives. So do we...


Heaven Leigh Introduction

At times the magic of channeling can feel more like a hurricane in your head than a gentle guide. When others are hurting or deeply troubled, I sometimes take on these feelings too. It is a challenge to know what to tune into, and what to avoid, or how to avoid. That is not fun or easy. Because of my personal preferences, I guess I "will" the melt-down experiences to pretty much occupy one day - and then I must get back up and move on. There have been two such days recently, that felt indescribably painful, so much so that I felt I would just fade away from this world. One such day happened on December 1st of this year. The other one was May 2, 2012.

I have been struggling to make any sense of this. Both dates involve suicides of famous people whom I didn't personally know. I didn't even actively follow their careers. Still, without realizing it, as they made their choices to leave this earth in a dramatically violent way, I picked up on this energy and felt the pull to leave as well. I was bed-ridden and in tears both days.

Maybe this is too much information to share, yet I feel that if I do share it may help others who are contemplating suicide. Suicide is not the end of your world. It is only the beginning. There is absolutely no point in it, except as a painful and profound mark that you will carry on your soul into eternity, and possibly, if you choose, into your next physical life on earth. And that next physical life may start the moment that you take your life in your present one. Please don't do it. It would not be the end of your suffering. You would simply return to learn why it wasn't helpful to leave this earth in that way. I understand your pain. I truly do. You see, I, for some reason have been given the "sight" or knowledge to know clearly of my most recent past life.

Suicide is just another have to start all over again...

I know exactly who I was. I don't know why I know. I don't know if it is a privilege or a burden. At times it seems like both.

I was murdered by indifference. Other people didn't care how much pain I was in, only what they could get from me, or what they could lose if I spoke of them, or what they could lose if I really told my story. Those people are gone from those lifetimes now. They gained nothing by being cruel to me. Their indifference to my pain was their own undoing. There is no one left to "blame." It is all within the circle of life, and believe me, it is a continuous circle.

I couldn't endure the life I had made for myself anymore. It felt as if my head and heart would explode for being filled with loneliness. I thought that I was living my dream. The dream soon turned to a nightmare, and it is a most hopeless feeling to think that when you achieve your highest pinnacle of aspiration you are still sad, lonely, confused and empty inside.

So I faded away. Was I threatened? Yes. Was I literally forced by someone else's hand other than my own? No. Not literally. I couldn't stand the pain. I thought death would end it. It does NOT. If you are contemplating this, please seek help. Seek understanding. Seek peace through tuning into your eternal purpose.

I just came right back. Leaving solved nothing. In this lifetime, presently, I find myself learning the same damn things all over again. I find myself wanting to leave the pain all over again. I realize that famous and obscure alike must deal with the same pain. It is loneliness, the deep tormenting feeling of not being understood, or not being heard in this world. Why do we covet fame? It is only a more exposed form of loneliness.


Understanding Ourselves...

It is easier for me to understand why I so deeply tune into Michael than it is for many others. That is not to say that I tune into him more deeply than others do. I highly respect the other Michael Earth Angels that belong to his spirit, and he to theirs. I will let him explain this more. It is the reason why I am here to help them deal with their grief, while I learn how to cope with my own. There are other helping angels who do this too. I thank you all.

Did Michael have a hard time staying on this earth? Yes. He lived, as some call it, and the best way I can explain it, "in-between worlds." There is one other person I have communicated with who termed her life experience in this way too. I have been describing my life experience to my dearest friends, family, and confidants in this way for only the last 7 years or so. So I am fairly new to understanding this about myself. Yet it has always been.

I need to let Michael speak now. He rescues me from my own inner-turmoil. I pray that beyond your grief, beyond your sorrow, you will let him do this for you as well.


Angel Michael speaks...

Mayans, Mayans, Mayans. Why do we continually create "the end of the world" scenarios for ourselves as a people? Why do we give so much credence to those who do?

We want the world as we know it to end.

I wanted the world as you know it to end.

I wrote songs about this. I begged and pleaded with you to "Change the World."

The truth is, this world is constantly changing, with every single thought you have. Every feeling leads to a thought, that leads to a plan, that leads to an action, that leads to a manifestation of your feelings.

People who commit suicide think that they are ending their world. They are not. They are ending that phase of their learning, only to begin the next chapter. Sadly, those they leave behind in their life's structure will suffer for this decision. The loved ones left behind go into another phase of learning. It is a painful phase which they can choose to better themselves from, but it is a painful way to learn.

We all have a responsibility to each other. It would be best if we could learn, and help each other learn in painless ways. This is so seldom the case, yet it should be our goal.

The first thing Heaven Leigh said when she learned of my passing, the end of my Michael Jackson lifetime, was "Did he kill himself?"

The first thought she had was that I wanted to be free of the pain that my lifetime had dictated I endure. I created my life, though. I drew to me everything that happened. Yet I did it in a loving and innocent, maybe foolish at times, way.

I didn't find my soulmate. I would have ideally loved to have had many children of my own, and adopt many children from different countries. I ideally would have loved to have found my life partner to co-create this with me. Yet Peter Pan isn't allowed to have a wife, to be happy, to be normal. People want the story. They want the fantasy. They want a celebrity to provide a "larger-than-life" dream that they can wish and hope for too.

Then they all wish they could be as rich, as lucky, as talented, as famous.

Many of your celebrities self-destruct before your eyes because you build them up into impossible caricatures of real people. They never stop being real people. Yet they often self-implode because it is impossible to be the fantasy. They often become disillusioned with themselves, feel that no one understands them, and in fact this latter statement is very true. How can you understand someone who is trying to please everyone else by keeping their impossible fantasies alive?

I am not ONLY "Michael Jackson..."

I was Michael Joseph Jackson, but I was never only MICHAEL JACKSON!!!!!!!!!! (The one fans screamed and fainted over). Or should I say that "he" was not the deepest part of myself. I own my work. I own my talent, of course. Yet I lived a double-life. Oh no, it's no scandalous revelation. I lived the life on stage. One life. Then I lived the life of a fun-loving, child-like, in-between worlds spirit, looking for love and understanding just like you. You see we ALL live in-between worlds. We all love to have fun. We are all childlike. Yet we do not all embrace this. Many tune it out, are fearful of the tenderness in their own personalities. Societal pressures and stereotypes have told you not to be feminine if you are a man. Don't be too strong if you are a woman! That's bullshit. You fear what you should embrace and you embrace what you should fear.


Two by two, me and you...

I've known you before. Yes, of course.

It's a great mystery, and yet a simple truth.

Live the life you are living. Appreciate every facet of it and every lesson to be learned. Learn with less pain when you surrender to the lesson. You learn faster. Heaven knows. She thinks her name is funny. Out of step with normal names. It was given to her. She didn't take it on, and yet she drew it to herself. A name is a beautiful tool. If you don't like yours - change it! There is much energy in the number of a name. My name is 7 and 7. (Not the drink)! ;) Michael and Jackson. Seven letters each. Heaven is 6 and 5. Eleven total. She changed the spelling of her second name through inspiration right after her daughter was born. Her daughter tuned into my spirit while I was walking around on your earth. She was just a baby. She was first drawn to my song "Heal the World." Why?

Jesus is quoted as saying, "Let the greatest among you be your servant."

Some would say that I was "the greatest."

I am your servant. I am your servant in that it will always be my greatest joy to help you. I tried my best. I got caught up in my own greatness at times, yes. I got carried away with the things money could buy. Yes. I thought it could help fill up something in me to fill my house with "things." They never made me feel better though. A spiritual ache inside can never be filled with things.

I knew I was passing spirit messages on to you. I knew my work was far deeper than the label "King of Pop" could describe. Yet when I tried to do my sweetest work - help the children, it was turned against me like a nightmarish twisting of the most beautiful work of art.

You cannot do that to a person and expect them to survive. The culmination of all I had done, the music, the dancing, the spectacle of all of that - was always to draw attention to my deeper message. Heal the children. Heal your world by taking the time to love and do things with your children. It's not all your fault. We don't need to assign blame at all. Just learn. I took on the most wonderful job. I was attacked for trying. I wasn't as strong as I wished to be. I didn't know how to recover and prove my true intentions after the hideous accusations that ripped through my soul. I felt that what people believed about me made my mission null and void. Then I kept getting back up and trying anyway. This is it was meant to help give my message all over again, since I had been a loving daddy, I thought you would understand. But I was weakened. I was internally hurting on a level that I didn't even fully understand.

I killed myself. Yes. But I also had direct intervention. And that person could have and should have stopped me. I did it unconsciously. I began "killing myself" right after the first allegations arose. People want money enough to destroy other people's lives for it. That is a part of the world that needs to change for sure!

Heaven Leigh. It's ok. It's ok to reveal just enough to help others. Suicide, either over a long period of wearing yourself down and not taking proper care of yourself, or a straight-all-out dramatic SHOT to your body, or an overdose of the lethal kind will still kill you. I didn't physically "pull the trigger" on myself, but I didn't take care of myself. I was dying inside.

My children were and are my joy. Paris. Prince. Blanket. I love you so very much. There are not even words.

The truth is that you are all my children. And I am your child. I am eternally taking care of you and you are eternally taking care of me. The love you show to me now is just as important as ever. The love I give to you now - I hope you understand. I'll help you understand in every way I can think of. That is why I come to you - in your dreams, in your art, in your service to others. I love you. You love me by carrying on my work. First, love yourself. Take care of yourself. Don't drown in the sorrow of losing me, for you have lost nothing.

I am there. I am here. I am with you always.

All my love to you,


Heaven Leigh Foot Note...

I had expected him to tell us about whether or not the world would end. I had thought all of these other things, but as usual this infinitely wise and loving spirit says whatever he wants to say.

I do feel from this latest message, that he is explaining in his own way that our world never ends. If the earth exploded, our world would not end. We are eternal beings. Everything I feel inside says that just like other doomsday prophecies, this will fall away. No point in scaring our children with these notions of "the end." Every ending is a new beginning anyway.

I hope you come to understand that if you do not already. :) xoxoxox

See you on December 22nd!

(First published in December, 2012 when some were worried about Mayan calendar prediction).



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    • aleisastarr profile image


      5 years ago

      Thanks Heaven

      I have the Endymion Card you sent me in a place so that I can see it first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I have so much pressure on me right now and all I can think of is Michael...How he walked around wearing a smile most of the time yet many times he probably wanted to cry. I walk with my head high and a smile on my face so no one here even knows how miserable I am...I try and face the adversity with Love but this is not always the easiest thing to do. I pray whatever the lesson is that I was sent here to learn that I get it as fast as I can and move on to the next experience. I also grew up with people telling me about Demons and Spirits as a child I was frightened but then as I became an adult I looked at things with an open mind and have learned so much. I can personally say I am happy for the messages and knowledge you share I always seem to come across them at just the right time.

      Love and Light

    • heavenleigh707 profile imageAUTHOR

      Heaven L Burkes 

      5 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      P.S. Have a SAFE flight, dear AleisaStarr. xoxoxox

    • heavenleigh707 profile imageAUTHOR

      Heaven L Burkes 

      5 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      Dear AleisaStarr. Yes - things are often "for a time" and we do not need to stick with something that is not working. So much LOVE and many hugs to you. You always have choices. This is what the Endymion Card is for - New Beginnings. There may be many new beginnings on our paths. We grow from each one. xoxoxox

    • aleisastarr profile image


      5 years ago

      Sometimes messages are meant for different people at different times...I find it fascinating that I came across this message today...The day I went to nc for my best friends homegoing service, needless to say I am drained...I relocated to a different city a few months ago to stay with a family member who begged me for years to move with him all was well in the beginning but now the tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife.. This message made me feel as if it was for me...I wear a smile but inside I just want to scream the pressure is sometimes in bearable on my flight finish when I can....we are gonna take off :)

    • heavenleigh707 profile imageAUTHOR

      Heaven L Burkes 

      6 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      Dear Beckie, I do believe that we give power to what we focus on-so very true! My sense is that we are all spirit in essence and at our core.

      Our beliefs come from so many places. I don't wish to tread on others beliefs - but rather to share what gives hope & comfort.

      I thought for awhile about addressing the negative comment, not wishing to focus on it myself, but if it can help worried folks to stop worrying it's worth a try. Xoxoxox

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 

      6 years ago from Upstate, New York

      Heavenleigh - I was under the impression that other "planes" are no different than ours. Just as there are "hardened" and "malicious" souls on earth, so to are they in the afterlife. I protect myself from all by believing in God and telling "negativity" they have no room in my head, heart, soul or space. By even bringing up the so called "demon", aren't others handing them power?

      Just curious

      Blessing and the white light to you friend. XO

    • heavenleigh707 profile imageAUTHOR

      Heaven L Burkes 

      6 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      Dear Barb, If any can read my channeling with Angel Michael & see evil, I feel sad for them. My dad & my grandmother help me too-whatever you are talking about-has nothing to do with this spirit that continues to bless the world. I won't tell you that you are wrong and that what you feel, believe and act upon is pointless "because you are guided by a demon"- and I don't believe it is wise for you to trust your source so completely that you make blanket statements regarding who is or is not speaking to those who need to hear. If what you say is true - it does not discount what a different loving spirit is saying to some who will listen here. I cannot take away your fear & you cannot take away my hope.

      People in my childhood cultish church used to scare me with talk of "demons" all the time.

      I worried and I imagined demons all around. That is a sad way to live.

      When I grew up I realized that by focusing on the scary and negative possibilities in life I was drawing more and more fear to me.

      I challenge you to read with an open heart and look for angels all around you instead of "demons". You will begin to see the world in a whole different way. Much love, Heaven

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Dear Heaven ( or Owner of this Blog),

      It is not Michael you are channeling, it is a spirit named "John" who is pretending to be Michael. He looks, acts, and sounds like Michael. Michael is not communicating with anyone from earth at all. This spirit is visiting a lot of women and some think he's their twin soul, etc. This is a crafty spirit who is fooling a lot of women and acts exactly like Michael's and has his persona, however he is a demon. He is very charming, alluring and without a doubt you will think it's Michael but it's not. The spirit is causing many other spirits to be around the women he visits and they use your pets, children, and you to feed off your energy. I read this once before and bookmarked your blog. I thought of you and thought I should let you know.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 

      6 years ago from Central Florida

      I love you, sweetie!

    • heavenleigh707 profile imageAUTHOR

      Heaven L Burkes 

      6 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      Oh, Thank you dear Shauna. I so appreciate your reading this, your comments and your encouragement! I appreciate your bright, warm light of truth and hope!

      Love ya more! ;) ~h~

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 

      6 years ago from Central Florida

      Heaven, this is amazing. Your channelling is coming forth so strongly. Michael was such a beautiful, yet tormented soul. It's not only the famous that live as he did. Your intro to those who consider suicide is testament to that.

      My dear friend, I pray you rebuild your strength after each of these episodes. We need you, you need you and Jasmine needs you!

      Love Ya, Girl!

    • heavenleigh707 profile imageAUTHOR

      Heaven L Burkes 

      6 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      Dear ShiningIrishEyes,

      Oh, I am relieved that I did not hurt your feelings. It is nearly an impossible subject - because it is so multifaceted. I can only approach it with my information - and what spirit is willing to give. I believe if we knew everything all at once, it would not be good for us, somehow.

      Sometimes when they are trying to bring us a message, we tune in and it seems to hurt more, yet it is also a validation of their constant love. Sometimes it is more painful to handle around the time of year that they passed. Whatever the case, there is so much love for you. He is a very loving spirit. Whew. I feel that!

      His empathy for others helped them so very much. He still has that and many times over. When we sensitive ones tune in to someone so deeply, who is not as mature or evolved as we are, it is devastating. Yet he forgives her.

      It is so challenging that WE often go through so much pain in the experience of feeling their love. Yet that is part of it.

      I hope somehow to change this incrementally, so that feeling their presence is accompanied by joy and love, more than anguish and pain. A part of me thinks that the pain deepens the experience, and so we hold on to that. I don't know. Trying to learn here too. :)

      Much love, light and hugs to you dear, dear Shining Spirit! xoxoxox

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 

      6 years ago from Upstate, New York

      No my dear - You certainly NEVER offended me. It is something that stays with me day and night. I have him on my mind all the time and it seems, lately, it is getting hard for me to bare.

      I take great comfort in so many of your hubs and was reaching out to you for some expertise in this field. I knew you would give me an honest answer.

      Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your attention in the matter - and for getting right back to me.

      Blessing, white light and love your way. And a hug thrown in for added measures.

    • heavenleigh707 profile imageAUTHOR

      Heaven L Burkes 

      6 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      Thank you for your beautiful comments, Sarah. So sad about your uncle. Big hugs.

      It is a very big subject to cover, and I was focusing on a very personal aspect of it.

      There is no judgement meant for any who have taken this step. It is based on mostly what I myself have experienced - and Michael's thoughts on the subject can be interpreted several ways.

      I've heard it preached that those who commit suicide wake to God's judgement. I know that is FALSE. Maybe there is a choice to come back in another life or stay in the heavenly realm to help others. Either way - it is not a punishment - but rather a lesson.

      We keep learning. That's the key, I guess.

      Many hugs to you! I believe your uncle's love will forever be with you! xoxoxox

    • SarahWhitman909 profile image


      6 years ago

      This is a wonderful message to put out there into the world. Many people at my school suffer with depression and sometimes have suicidal thoughts. It hurts me so much to see people suffer like that. I do my very best to be there for them and to show them how beautiful life can be if you just embrace the joy and love.

      Many of us want to see the world change but the actions are not yet being taken. It seems like most of us are waiting for the leader and then we'll follow suit. I think you should be your own leader. Follow your heart if you need guidance. Michael will also be there for us all. His beautiful spirit will be shining loving light onto all of us.

      This hub page was very emotional for me as well. My aunt Mary's husband committed suicide when I was really little. I was maybe 3 or 4. I don't remember much from that time but I just remember the next get together we had, there was an empty seat next to my aunt. I remember someone being there last year but I couldn't remember who. One thing though in particular that I remember is I went up to my aunt Mary's cottage once when my uncle was still alive. There's a picture of me on my fridge running in the grass with my arms spread out running to him for a hug. He absolutely adored photography so he grabbed the camera and snapped a picture. Every time I look at it I sometimes get flashbacks of that time...

      The last part of this hub was really touching. You know, sometimes I feel ashamed from decisions that I've made and I worry that Michael is ashamed of me or doesn't feel the same way about me anymore. I didn't want him to think that I've changed. I questioned if he still loved me sometimes... I don't know if I was wrong or not. I'm still human and young yet but I should know better. What's right for me? Am I doing the right thing? Should I give them another chance? It's all very confusing sometimes but I'm trying to keep the faith and I always keep in mind to believe in myself and he'll believe in me... xoxoxo

      Thank you, Heaven for posting such an important hub! Many hearts and love to you! xoxoxo I know how it feels when you share the pain with others, but just know that others are also sharing your pain. You Are Not Alone!

    • heavenleigh707 profile imageAUTHOR

      Heaven L Burkes 

      6 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      Thank you dear Mimi. This one is so very emotional on so very many levels.

      I was not entirely anxious to give this message, but felt I needed to put any fears aside and do my best. There is no "punishment" for suicide, in a broader sense. It is just that we go back and learn what we came here to learn in the first place. xoxoxox We will WANT to come back and learn it - might as well push through the pain now. :)

      Joy and laughter to you, dear Mimi! Thank you for all the beauty you bring to the world!

    • heavenleigh707 profile imageAUTHOR

      Heaven L Burkes 

      6 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      Absolutely, dear ShiningIrishEyes. Not everyone comes back. Some stay in the heavenly realm to be teachers. It is impossible to cover every possibility in one writing. Also - I have my own "filters" that I cannot completely take off in order to be a 100% pure channel. I apologize if I offended you in any way. xoxoxox

      It is not a punishment to come right back - only a continuation. But some do stay and help from the heavenly realm. That's where Michael seems to be speaking from. He didn't "jump right back in" to an earthly body, as far as I sense. There is no judgement. None. Only LOVE. That comes to me over and over.

      And I didn't cover, nor did Michael, every possibility. I may go back into this one and ask for more. It is a vast subject!

      Much Love to you and your dear brother. Many hearts.

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 

      6 years ago from Upstate, New York

      But what about people who have missed previous life exits? Do't you think there may be a possibility that for some, suicide is already in their life blueprints?

      My brother was a kind soul who never did anything to anyone but wear a mask of happiness. So many took advantage of him. His wife that he loved helped. To put it in the words of the police who found him "She may not have put the rope around his neck physically, but psychologically she did."

      My brother was so kind and truly loved and lived by God's word. I just believe he is in the place he belongs and I don't believe what my Catholic faith would have me believe. My God is a forgiving and loving God and I believe he wrapped his arms around my dear brother.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Very beautiful. It's such an interesting message that people come right back and have to start over when they end their lives, that it doesn't solve anything. I hadn't thought of it but it makes so much sense. And in the case of the football player, I wonder what the extra burden is for him, having not only taken his life but murdering his girlfriend first. It's all so heartbreaking, I can see how it can be such a heavy burden to feel things so intensely for you, dear x


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