Angel Michael's Secrets - Part Two

I am waaaaay out of my comfort zone here, in asking Angel Michael to speak through me publicly. I just wanted to write a compelling fairy tale. I wanted to keep all of the spirit messages stuff "In the Closet." That is how my dream began. It has taken a few unexpected detours that I was beginning to think of as "failures", but I think I am starting to understand why. The detours are very important.

Most recently I became aware of a Michael song that I'd never heard before. It's an old unreleased J5 song that made its way to me just at the right time it seems. It is entitled "If You Want Heaven," and speaks of a girl who is going around thinking just of herself. My birth name, on the certificate actually is "Heaven Lee." I changed the middle name spelling after my daughter was born in 1990, because I love Vivien Leigh, but my real name is Heaven. I didn't make it up recently. Just in case you were wondering. The name "Heaven" has gained popularity in recent years. It is so popular forward, that many have taken to reversing it, and finding a beautiful name there too! Maybe people will do that with Michael someday too. Leahcim? Maybe not. I have spent my life being embarrassed about my name. Anyway, now you know that it's my real name.

"Quiet and shy, yeah, that's you girl....but you can't have your cake and love too."

Finding this one kinda scared me. Because I am often quiet and shy, and caught in my own little bubble of life, as the song says.

"You can't go around thinking just of yourself, love will pass you by if you do..." Thinking just of myself? What Michael? I've been banging my head against several walls trying to get your message out through my book!!! Thinking just of myself? The nerve of that guy! But I do see his point. Up until Part One of this Angel Michael series, I haven't wanted to share him with others directly - I have wanted to keep him to myself in that way. Maybe in a way, I have been going around thinking just of myself... I am now attempting to "Reach out" even further than I previously thought I needed to.

After Michael Jackson's passing in 2009, I had this knowing that Angel Michael wanted me to re-write my already-spirit-infused fantasy novel, this time with his spirit more directly guiding me. He led me to a wonderful teacher, and I figuratively ripped my manuscript apart and started over, armed with more knowledge of writing after 9 months of intense workshops with a screenplay writer who had worked with the greats.

I knew I needed some high-caliber professional help to get the book to the level it had to be before I was ready to publish it. I didn't have connections with professional writers anymore. It had been years since I'd worked with anyone in Hollywood. I was a kid when I worked with John Debney, then an employee of Disney studios in the L.A. area. He went on to be a famous Oscar-nominated composer. He's composed the scores for numerous movies, including Passion of the Christ, for which he was nominated for the Oscar. I, on the other hand, went on to move back to Colorado and be a stay-at-home mom, a job I dearly loved.

My days of writing songs with cutting edge musicians were long gone, and I had completely lost touch with most of my Los Angeles connections.

Yet I found myself with a new mission that just might pull me back to Hollywood, and in a series of what seemed like miraculous timing and connections, someone I hardly knew sent me a friend request on Facebook one day in November of 2009. She ran the best-loved theater in our area, and was an amazing actress and acting instructor at Colorado State University. I screwed up enough courage to make a phone call, but I never did ask why she had sent a friend request to me. She seemed to react as if I had sent the friend request to her. Very interesting. Lo and behold there was a workshop that very night at her home, which I knew nothing of. A friend of hers was to be introducing a revolutionary approach to writing scripts, screenplays, novels and monologues. She invited my daughter and I to her beautiful home in the hills of Northern Colorado. We signed on and attended the writing workshops for the next 9 months.

I hoped to weave Michael's message into the story as his spirit guided me, and therein would be my clever and secretive mission. I didn't mention Michael's message to the writing workshop instructor, but Michael kept coming into many of my writing exercises. One script reading of a short that was written as a silent film, was accompanied by Michael's song "Speechless." I chose it, because it was the perfect song to go with my story. The class got used to my affinity for Michael and never chided me for it, though I doubt that they ever understood it.

After finally publishing, four years after I'd begun the manuscript, I was hoping to turn the book over to Michael's spirit, and he would send it on the wings of angels, across the world. Well, that was a comforting fairy tale in itself. But it wasn't meant to happen that way. At least not at the pace I'd hoped for. Not even close.

I thought that naturally, I should take this message first to the Michael Jackson community. It started with a phone call to a fan from a well known MJ website. I was invited to her website, then a few Facebook MJ groups, and it snowballed from there. I was so very grateful to meet those who also loved Michael's spirit. I trusted almost everyone at first. I thought they all felt about Michael's message as I did. Big lessons ahead!

I had to realize at one point, that I hadn't made it clear as to how Michael was connected with my book. I softly told people in the MJ community that Michael's message was in my book, and a few were intrigued, but most in the MJ community were not. His name was not in the title and his picture was not on the cover. This was a message he'd written into the story with me, not a book about his MJ lifetime.

I quickly began to understand, that if people believed for one second, I mean actually believed that Michael had written this book through me, nothing on earth would stop them from reading it. They would be compelled to receive his message with every cell of their being. I wasn't a screamer, I didn't pressure anyone to promote my book. I wasn't doing what the "successful ones" were doing.

"I look to Heaven to fulfill this prophecy. Set me free..." lyrics from "They Don't Really Care About Us" - Michael Jackson

I felt that I was letting Michael down in the worst way. But I needed to be true to myself. I refused to turn into an obnoxious sales person in order to get the message out. Yuck. I was not going to do that. I knew how it made me feel when others did that with their books.

I began to question my faith in the whole project. If many people weren't yet miraculously finding and reading my book, was it possible that I made all of this up in my own mind? All of the intense signs and messages from Michael, and all of the years of work... was I just fooling myself?

I had some rough lessons to learn, but once learned, I could continue my project with more confidence than ever!

The attention, in the particular MJ community in which I found myself, was going to those who spoke of having sexual fantasies of Michael, and bragged of him coming to them in dreams - hot, sexy Michael dreams. Hot sexy Michael pictures all over the group FB page. Was that Michael's message to the world? "I'm Hot and Sexy?" I thought that was Rod Stewart. I was a bit confused by this approach, especially from people that claimed they were spreading Michael's message of love. Uh. Well, that was a type of love...

But Michael wasn't a rock star that bragged about his sexual conquests. Why did I trust these women that I had thought were so spiritually connected to him? I couldn't understand why these people were so fixated on the physical aspects of Michael, when the body was gone. It was ironic. The groups were labeled as spiritual. I should have known better.

That wasn't the way Michael was in life. Were they possibly channeling a completely different spirit... maybe of some horny sultan who missed his harem? I didn't want to be part of a "Michael Harem." Yuck. It seemed like an MJ Twilight Zone. Boy was I stupid. I'd done this type of thing to myself before - I had thought that everyone saw and felt things as deeply as I did. I cried many tears over this stuff because at first these women seemed to "get" Michael. I was beginning to understand that they really just wanted to GET Michael - in every position they could imagine. How discouraging. His body is gone. How impossible their quest.

Was their "message of the gold pants" what Angel Michael most longed to convey to the world? What was happening? What was I doing there? How could this possibly inspire future generations, feed hungry children, or heal our precious earth?

I started questioning those leaders. I was quickly on the receiving end of some pretty nasty messages of retaliation. How dare I question them! I was trying to "divide" the MJ fans. What? All must believe as these MJ Facebook group leaders deemed proper? What the hell did any of this have to do with Angel Michael or love?

That was my stop. I had to get off the bus. Of course turning away from the leaders of these groups, meant that most of their followers would turn away from me. Brilliant way to sell a book, Heaven. Maybe not, but I had to make a fresh start, re-think everything.

I am not here to gain "followers" in Michael's name. I am here to encourage, promote and empower others that are hearing the deeper messages of Michael as well. It is not just me! There are some wonderful inspired books out there that tell of Michael's message of love and hope. There are poetry books being published, and beautiful art being inspired by him. The power-hungry group leaders will fall by the wayside. Once I moved away from them, I realized how not-to-be-taken-seriously they were.

I am not here to censor anyone. Michael was a very passionate person. His sexuality raged through many of his songs and performances. My own writing is very passion-filled. I was just amazed at how in the particular MJ groups that I experienced, the obsessiveness with his sexiness seemed to overtake the deeper message. The body is gone. The spirit is what wishes to commune with us. I started to feel, being in those groups, as if Michael was being ripped apart, everyone trying to claim a piece of him. It bothered me. It was some intense research, but when I left, I began to realize, as when I left my childhood church, that there is a much bigger world out there, and these people don't own it all. The cult mentality can be found in many places. I was grateful that I had learned how to get out of such places, and away from controlling people.

Michael's spirit, when he left his body, sent out a blanket of inspiration into the world that we are just beginning to see the results of. It is so beautiful to see loving, generous people pouring out Michael's kindness, love and altruistic nature. I am focusing on them now.

These Facebook MJ community experiences didn't rob me of my sense of humor, so I must not be too badly scarred from them, and I do feel a bit wiser. It's kind of a case of the old adage, "What doesn't kill you makes you puke a lot, but you get over it..."

I started this out telling you about the miracle of finding a great writing coach. That happened through Facebook too. So it's not all bad!!! I have also found some amazing friends there, and the lessons are invaluable too. I have been speaking too damn softly. There seems only one thing left to do - let Michael speak to those who wish to listen. And that is why I'm taking this leap of faith.

Angel Michael Speaks:

"It's strange that God doesn't mind expressing Himself/Herself in all religions of the world, while people still cling to the notion that their way is the only right way..." ~Michael Jackson~ from his book "Dancing the Dream."

Who else in your world has ever come into it beginning as a beautiful black child, and leaving as a beautiful black child, yet in between, showing your world throughout one evolutionary lifetime, what it was to be black and white, male and female, child and adult, all in one?

It is a riddle, yes? But no one must take offense. For it is not worse to be white than it is to be black. Is it? Does your mind tell you this is so? What does your heart say?

It is not worse to be woman than it is to be man. Do you think?

It is not more prized to be a grand adult with all of your knowledge and stature than it is to be a beautiful child of magic and wonder, is it?

There are those who embody these traits among you. They may not sing or dance, or channel a universe of entertaining talents as I did, but they embody a message of what it is to be in God's image. And you have hated them, misunderstood them, and killed them with your hate.

It is a riddle again.

How can two be in God's image if God is in the image of only one?

Your world has long been out of balance.

When you learn to value those who you fear and cast aside, your eyes will be opened, your hearts will be pure, and your lives will be rich and resplendent.

In Your Image

A man God's beauty

A woman divine

If born as one

Yet the spirit inclined

To live as the other

This to show you my cause

Confusion and hatred

You must transcend your flaws

Why would one be my image

While the other opposed

Take for covering my warmth

In what form no one knows

If a woman be less than

By what do you measure

Can the weaker be strongest

If the weakness is treasured

What is weakness

What is strength

Look closer

Look within

In whose image are we fashioned

Who is the woman

Who's the man

TYM