Avengers: Age of Ultron Honest Review

The Avengers sequel is out and smashing box office records, much more than its predecessor. Here’s an honest review- is it a hit or a miss?

Age of Ultron opens in the middle of some awesome action. Everybody was like "What is happening?" "Who are we fighting now?". To understand what was happening, you had to be following the MARVEL's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. TV show and their battles with HYDRA. But even though you didn’t know what was going on, you still loved the battle scenes. To get you up to speed, it was attempt to retrieve Loki’s stolen scepter from HYDRA leader Baron Strucker (Thomas Kretschmann)- the glass-eyed guy you saw in the mid-credits sequence for Captain America: The Winter Soldier. You'll remember it from the first Avengers as the shiny pointy object that could be used for mind control. Loki's "glow stick of destiny" (whylie Stark has killer one liners). Apparently the scepter was powered by one of the Infinity Stones, but we'll get to that later.

The sequence introduces two characters to the MARVEL screen universe: the Maximoff twins-the Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) and Quicksilver (Aaron Taylor-Johnson). This is not the all-powerful Quicksilver from X-Men's Days of Future Past. He's some kid who's too slow to escape bullets. And no, they couldn't have brought them in as Magneto's kids- copyright issues. Plus Magneto would have won the war against the all-metal Ultron in a heartbeat.

Then there's that Beauty and the Beast relationship between Black Widow and the Hulk...Natasha Romanoff and Banner got chemistry, no doubt. And Natasha's still as hot as ever. You’re used to her self-confidence- now get ready for her vulnerable side. I guarantee it won't have you on the edge of your sit....plus she sings lullabies to the Hulk. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I mean, the Hulk is literally the strongest MARVEL character. And she sings him lullabies to stop him from punching through walls. That's just sad. Stark had to use Veronica program's Hulkbuster to stop the Hulk, and they destroyed a town in the process! And all Natasha has to do is a lullaby? COME ON!!

Let's get to Ultron. The Artificial intelligence that's stuck with Stark's sense of humor. Mad scientists have a knack for bringing dead things to life. And immediately they get life, they want to destroy humanity. Ask Dr. Frankenstein. So...Ultron is not some bad computer making war on some exceptionally strong people. Ultron's purpose is to save humanity. To do that, we have to evolve. He was designed as a planetary defense system to bring "Peace in our time." But "We mistake peace for quiet." To make us evolve, he has to wipe out the earth's population. To do that, he’s got destroy the earth. To make that happen, he has to destroy the people protecting it. Ergo, he has to destroy the Avengers. Which goes to prove that man wasn’t made to meddle medley” (nice line by the way). Human's fatal mistake is thinking order and chaos are opposites (The Vision's words, not mine, but I totally agree) So Ultron was simply doing what he was programmed to do. Don't hate.

But they all should have listened to the Cap' (Chris Evans), every time people try to stop a war before it starts, they start a war...but how will movie studios make money from gullible audiences?

What do you mean Hawkeye has a wife and kids...this thing was just full of surprises. And Fury has to stop hiding in sheds and garages. The whole world already knows his alive. No one will ignore that flying fortress. Guess S.H.I.E.L.D is back in business. And why didn't you bring Coulson along for the ride??

Stark is...Stark- hero, billionaire, philanthropist, mad scientist and futurist. He wants to stop future annihilation and ends up creating current wars that risk the same annihilation he's trying to avoid. And in the process, killing the same humans he's sworn to protect. Like he did in the Avengers Civil War comics and now with Ultron. And what gives- guy retires in Iron Man 3 but is back and swinging in the Age of Ultron? Make up your mind!!

Thor...the only reason there were any girls in the cinema. He may be mighty, but that doesn't stop the Scarlet with from getting into his head. But instead of working his emotions, it gives him visions. Which make him meet out the scientist...what's his name...old guy who was running around naked in 'Thor-The Dark World'...ehh...who cares. So, they meet up and go to some cave in the middle of nowhere that has a pool of water that allows you to see visions. Thor's sees the infinity stones, destruction of the universe and some mambo-jumbo that I'd have to go all MARVEL fanboy on you to explain. He returns to Stark's lab where he completes the process that leads to the creation of The Vision.

The Vision-he's basically Ultron-reloaded without the desire to wipe out humanity. Consequently he is a disgrace to all forms of Artificial Intelligence ever created. Just ask Terminator's Skynet and The Matrix's Architect. In Ultron's words, he's "unbelievably naïve." And how does create a suit from his skin? Do his cells regerate or something? Weren’t they fused with the metal from Wakanda? But lucky for us, he's on our side. How do we know? Guess what he did with Thor's hammer that had been pulling an Excalibur on everybody.

So the Avengers assemble to foil Ultron's plan of transforming the land of Sakovia into a meteor that would have caused a global-extinction level event. Cool plan by the way, Ultron. Not the part where people die...the part where you blast a huge part of the land into space and send it hurtling back to the earth. That's genius. Big guy doesn't need nukes.

What is a MARVEL movie without a mid-credits scene? That 15-second clip that makes you sit though the credits, and gets fanboys talking your ear off on the way home. Where the end of a movie is another beginning. So we get to see Thanos and the The Infinity Gauntlet. Whoever wields the Gauntlet with all its infinity stones basically gets virtual omnipotence and omniscience. (Makes Thor's hammer look like child's play)Thanos basically wants to rule or destroy the universe. I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see the Avengers take him on. No doubt there will be a couple of movies to set the stage for Avengers: The Infinity War.

Avengers: Age of Ultron was awesome. Beautifully choreographed and expertly edited. A real superhero Smackdown. Joss Whedon had a lot of ground to cover and every character had enough screen time remind us why we love them. The movie did a good job of balancing an enormous cast of interesting characters, most of whom have their own elaborate back stories. And even though you don’t keep up with the subplots, you get 141 minutes of superb action, intense battle scenes, and cool CGI….plus hilarious one-liners.

Like some people that I love say, "If it doesn't make your inner hero squeal in delight, you're probably dead inside. Or a girl."