ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Batman v Superman - Dawn of Justice: movie review

Updated on March 25, 2016
popcollin profile image

Collin's been a movie critic since 2009. In real life he works in marketing and is also a novelist ("Good Riddance" published in Oct 2015).

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice | Source

Toward the end of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, the Caped Crusader plonks the Man of Steel over the head with porcelain sink. It’s one of the movie’s more subtle moments.

Interminably long, mind-bogglingly dull, and incredibly silly, BvS lands with an deafening thud and, along the way, reminds everyone how far ahead Marvel is in the Great Comic Book Movie Wars.

Overlapping with the end of 2013’s Man of Steel, BvS opens (after yet another movie incarnation of young Bruce Wayne’s parents getting killed) with Superman (Henry Cavill) battling General Zod in the skies over Metropolis. The battle even extends as far as nearby Gotham (apparently they’re neighboring cities-- who knew?), where grown-up Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) watches from the ground as buildings collapse and people die, including many in his own skyscraper. So what does Batman do? What kind of revenge does he take?

Who knows? The action fast-forwards 18 months.

Why? We’re not sure.

Eventually Batman and Superman do come face-to-face, after no shortage of prompting from the nefarious Lex Luthor (played by Jesse Eisenberg, who has never more annoying-- and that's saying something). And there’s also something about a desert attack, a weird bullet, and a guy who lost his legs during the Zod battle. Do any of these things matter, though?

Not as far as we can tell. And heck-- we’re only here to see Batman and Superman fight each other, anyway, right?

Hopefully not, since it takes two hours to get there and lasts for five minutes. (It takes even longer for Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman to arrive, but at least her glorified cameo is actually worth it.)

Director Zack Snyder (apparently trying to one-up Michael Bay with every trope-y, stylized moment) seems to think it’s a good idea to film everything in slo-mo and use so much lens flare that even JJ Abrams would flinch. There’s not a single frame of BvS that shows any amount of talent other than Snyder’s wise decision to surround himself with highly capable visual effects people.

As for the script, chief screenwriter David Goyer (Man of Steel) went out of his way to make the story as convoluted and pretentious (yet still insanely bloated and boring) as possible. I don’t envy the brilliant Chris Terrio (Argo) for the clean-up job he was called in to do, and it’s mind-boggling to imagine the awful script he was handed, if what we got is his re-write.

Conclusion

Unfortunately we’re in for even more from the Zack Snyder School of Bombastic Superhero Movies, as not one but two (and possibly three) sequels are on the way. Someone call the Avengers, stat! Now that’s a battle I’d pay money to see.

Rating

1/5 stars

Worth the 3D glasses?

Batman v Superman isn't even worth it for 2D, but if you've got a lot of money to burn on a ticket for this nonsense, you may as well go all-out and upgrade.

'Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice' trailer

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)