ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Bears & Fools

Updated on June 13, 2020
jimagain profile image

Jim is an accomplished writer with many great literary achievements, most of which he simply made up.

Early morning strolls

It's about 2:30 A.M. and I've got a headache. Headaches love to pop in unannounced around late night or early morning hours. So I get up and leave my motel room to trudge off to the lobby, up the hill in another building. Hopefully they have aspirin or something. Of course they don't.

Here I am, Gatlinburg, Tennessee. In the tourist attraction of the region, bathed in the perpetual glow of neon lights; I find it ironic that I can't get an aspirin at 2:30 A.M. In a local economy built entirely on spending; frequented by crowds of card-carrying consumers, spending money on everything from the bizarre to the mundane, from food to souvenirs.

A few blocks down the hill, I'm surrounded by stores. Most are closed. Including the Walgreen's.

Closed? Are you kidding me?!!

So I traipse my weary body and pounding headache back to my room in the middle of the night -morning, night...whatever- surrounded by hotels and mountains. In the moonlight, it's a beautiful, if not surreal, scene. It's perfect! As in maybe the perfect setting for an Ichabod Crane encounter with something I wouldn't want to run into in the middle of the night. I'm scanning the shadows for whatever may be lurking in the dark. Outside our hotel is a large creek bubbling and gurgling noisily as the water cascades along, splashing and colliding wildly from rock to rock in a turbulent thrashing and clashing of water, sort of like inside my head.

My ten minutes of fame - I'd probably wind up as a paragraph in some insignificant article that ends up at the bottom of a bird cage.

Bears & tourists

And suddenly I think, here I am in the dark in the Smoky Mountains wandering around in...bear country. Didn't they warned us about the bears when we checked in? A couple of cubs have been seen in our area with one aggressive, protective momma bear.

Forget that mental picture you may be harboring of a lovable but somewhat dopey, over-sized Teddy-bear. Forget Yogi snatching another pic-nic basket right from under Ranger Smith's nose. Think again. Wrap your brain instead around 400 pounds of fur-covered fury; a monster-sized brute of paw and claw and a very bad disposition, should she feel her cubs are threatened.

Bears like to frequent places where people are since we tend to leave hordes of wasted food wherever we go. You may have noticed that bears don't often go out to eat at restaurants since very few have credit cards; this is why you rarely see one dining out at say, a Denny's or a Cracker Barrel. But they do eat out. To you and I it may be an ignominious garbage can; to a foraging raccoon or hungry omnivorous bear -a five-star smorgasbord.

Bad timing...and headlines!

That would be just my luck to stumble on two too-cute cubs with an estrogen-enraged brute in my path in the dark of night ( morning, night...whatever ). I could get mauled while everyone else is asleep in their beds. All they'd find the next day would just be a tennis shoe with a few teeth marks. Then I had a strange and morbid thought; I don't even have my video camera. If I'm going to get mauled I may as well record it! I could even upload it on You-Tube while I'm bleeding out on the ground after the attack. My ten minutes of fame - I'd probably wind up as a paragraph in some insignificant article that ends up lining the bottom of a bird cage of some parakeet with a bowel problem. Or maybe a headline? Like...

Idiot Tourist Mauled By Bear In Late Night Stroll

Careless tourist on late-night stroll walks up on two cubs when things turned nasty...

A misfortunate encounter

One moment I'm thinking about a bear attack, the next I'm contemplating how this would impact the local tourism industry. Some would-be tourists would stay home for fear of similar attacks; others would flock to town in hopes of witnessing a gory incident firsthand. I myself would hate to think my indiscretion may have disrupted the local economy but not getting mauled by a bear is perhaps depriving EMT's and morticians of gainful employment.

So much for me. How would they punish a bear?

The end of the story is that I made it back safe to the room. But I suspect what some of you are thinking; some of you were hoping I did get mauled!

What is it with this innate morbid preoccupation with death and disaster? Well. At least that would fix my headache!

A fool in his folly...

On the way back to my room, I'm reminded of another hazard, similar yet different.

Proverbs 17:12 says, "Let a bear robbed of her whelps meet a man rather than a fool in his folly."

That might sound extreme but a bear can only do physical harm -bad enough in itself. But a 'fool in his folly' can inflict irreparable harm on so many more levels; emotional harm, caustic attitudes, destructive philosophies, embarking on a path of a perpetual cycle of sardanapalian excess, to name a few. Many would instantly recognize and avoid the former only to wander headfirst into the latter.

Beware of bears and fools! And I sure hope that poor guy meandering around outside in the middle of the night doesn't get mauled by one.

Better yet. Why not just stop at the Walgreens on the way in and pick up some aspirin?

© 2012 Jim Henderson


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)