Best Gross Out Practical Joke and Funny Prank: Chow Time

This one is just for fun. A gross out practical joke, and funny prank that I waited for years to get a chance to do, but never did. I even shared it with my college bound son, hoping he might find the opportunity, but he never did. So now, I am sharing it with you - maybe you will.

It will take a special sort of practical joker to pull off this funny prank. One with a mischievous side. One that sometimes has that little devil riding on his shoulder, chuckling, whispering, reminding him, (or her), how hilarious it would be. Of course, like all really good practical jokes, you will need some help with this one. It's the practical joke of a lifetime that I call - Chow Time.

The Chow Time prank isn't complicated, or expensive, but it will take a little planning and just the right set of circumstances. All you will need is:

• 4 or 5 like-minded friends - kindred spirits that will do almost anything for a good prank
• 1 can of vegetable soup - the thick and chunky kind works best
• 1 soup spoon for each friend
• 1 party or social event with libations and mixed company

See that's not much to pull together.

I have chuckled over this one for years, but the stars just never lined up for me, and I never got to use it. Yet. This practical joke is so good and so easy, that I won't even have to tell you what it is or how to do it. Just the story that inspired it.

I read this story in a book. I don't remember the book, and it's not important. All I need to do is recount the story and you will know what to do to pull off the best gross out practical joke ever.

But be warned. This is for the serious pranksters. If you are only a half-prankster you will never muster the nerve to pull it off. As a matter of fact, if you aren't of the highest caliber of prankster, you will probably just grimace and say "Gross!" That's ok, this one isn't for everyone. It's special.

I envision this as being the perfect college guy prank, but unfortunately I was well past college age when I read about it. Maybe, if this one is above your head, you might consider passing it along to some college guys, (somehow I just can't see a bunch of girls doing this), you know. Maybe they will see the possible glory to be had from pulling it off. The lifetime of "Remember the time we..." memories.

"Enough already!" you say. Tell me what it is, forget the build up. Alright here is an account of the story that contained one of the best and funniest pranks ever - "Chow Time"

But first... just kidding. It's not a long story, so here it is.

The setting: A Marine base Officer's Club

The time: Late evening, around 9 or 10-ish

The scene: For those not familiar with the term "Officer's Club," it's a bar or club for officers only, on a military base. There is an Enlisted Club too, but you know the military, can't have the brass mixing with the common folk. Officer's Clubs are almost always nicer than the Enlisted Club, and this one was no exception. It was a pretty good size, with a dance floor, cocktail tables, and even a small bandstand.

The bar ran the length of the back wall and was usually packed, especially on weekends. And this was a hopping Saturday night. Somewhere around 9 or 10pm, not quite pass-out drunk time, (like it would be around midnight), but there were plenty of pretty mellow smiles all around. This club also had a separate banquet/ballroom attached to one side that you entered through a huge set of multi-pane French doors. And tonight there was a Top-brass ball going on. While one side of this Officer's Club was packed with "regular" officers dancing and partying, the ballroom side was also packed, but with the big brass in full ceremonial dress uniform, and their wives, (or dates, wink wink), in floor length ball gowns.

There was a string quartet playing in one corner, a full open bar in another, and white-coated servers circulating with trays of champagne. A few of the couples were dancing, and a few were at tables, but most were standing around in small groups, with the ladies exchanging greetings and aren't-we-special smiles, and the big brass reassuring each other how important they were with stories of important assignments that only they could have completed.

All in all, it was a great and fun time to be had in both sides of the Officer's Club that night. But there was this one table of about six Marine aviators, that while appearing to be having just as much fun as anyone, and downing just as many cold beers as anyone, seemed to be paying more than just a casual amount of attention to those big double French doors.

Just as they were expecting, along came a procession of more white-coated servers bearing trays of after-dinner dainties. Pastries, chocolates, all kinds of sophisticated treats for the Big Brass and their ladies. And through the French doors they went.

The aviators gave them a few minutes to distribute the goodies, and then one of them pulled out a can of Campbell's vegetable soup - and a can opener. He opened the soup, and the whole table stood up. A shiny silver spoon peeking from the top pocket of each uniform jacket. Quietly, but steadily they headed for the now famous French doors. When they were all in place at the doors, "soup guy" tucked the soup under the lapel of his jacket and burst through the doors, stumbling and mumbling like the sloppiest drunk imaginable. Right into the midst of the finery.

The room suddenly turned quiet.

Fancy gowns and ceremonial uniforms, glasses of champagne in one hand and dainties on napkins in the other, all turned at once, trying to understand the audacity of these drunken flyers crashing into the middle of their group. Caught by surprise, and before they could express their indignation, the "soup guy" started to haroompt and retch and clutch at his throat. Immediately they backed away, and there he was. In the center of a tight knot of stunned people looking on in disgust.

He gave one last stomach wrenching haroompt, bent over double, and with a final retch, he upended that can of soup so that it splattered on the floor just like... well you know. The ladies just stared, the Brass was about to kill the "soup guy" when his friends rushed from behind, made a semi-circle around the "mess" on the floor, and said, "Marines, Present Spoons!" At which time, of course, they reached for their spoons. Then one of them shouted, "Chow Time!," and they all dove to their knees, frantically scooping up spoonfuls of "the mess," and eating it.

Needless to say, while the aviators were scrambling for the "good chunks," the ladies were swooning, and more than a few were turning to their "protectors," and contributing their own "mess." All over the floor, the fancy uniforms, their own fancy dresses, everywhere. And the more contributions they offered, the more others felt obliged to join in.

Pretty soon there was so much "mess" going on that no one even noticed the flyboys slipping quietly back through those French doors and straight out the front door of the club. Lost to the night.

They say that the base was held on complete lock-down for an entire week, and more than a few careers were threatened, but no one could remember what a single one of those Marine aviators looked like. Too bad. They probably could have had free drinks for life if they had hung around.

That's it. That's all you need to begin your quest to pull off the best gross out practical joke ever, a funny prank that will give you a lifetime of chuckles and memories. I hope fate smiles on you, and you are ready when the perfect opportunity presents itself.