ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Kim Kardashian's Quantum Derriere

Updated on January 1, 2011

Oh yeah! For a while there rumors did abound that Kim Kardashian was rocking a fake posterior, presumably engineered from space age materials, and in my fantasies, equipped with bond like tools to get her out of sticky situations, but Kim Kardashian knows how to put down a nasty rumor like that without saying a word - she simply gets a bikini three sizes too small for her and parades about the place, waving her ass about in a defiant fashion.

Now some of you might be wondering how an egalitarian female feminist writer such as myself could stoop to the level of objectification that is required to write an entire article about a woman's ass. For those people I say, I've done it before, and I'll do it again, simply because its fun. Fun, and noble.

Writing about Kim Kardashian's ass is a lot like writing about Steven Hawking's work on the nature of the universe. In fact, its practically exactly the same thing. In both instances, one is taking time to honor the spectacular acheivements of a human being who has sacrified a great deal in order to bring something amazing to the masses. In Steven Hawking's case it was 'A Brief History of Time', a book which made the intricacies of quantum physics accesible to the everyday man, and in Kim Kardashian's case, it's her very large bikini clad bottom.

To say that one is better than the other would be to devalue the amount of work which goes into translating the mysteries of the deep scientific magic which is holding space and time together in a fragile dance which enables our very existence, and of course, in allowing one's ass to blossom to proportions at which it begins to exert a noticeable gravitational pull on small objects, yet keeping one's tummy taut and trim enough to still look good in a bikini.

Kim has struggled for many months with rumors circulating about her body. Does she wear a body shaping girdle? Is that a buttpad down her dress? Has she had butt implants? (Okay, some questions, like the question concerning the origin of life itself, may never be answered, hidden as they are beneath layers of infathomable lardy mystery.) These pictures may not represent complete discovery and understanding of the issues at hand, but they do allow us as a species to make a great leap forward in understanding the phenomenon that is Kim Kardashian's ass.

Comment, Yo!

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Sherman 8 years ago

      Why can't we just accept that some people are naturally gifted? I work retail and often hear comments from fellow males that a certain woman must have implants. On more than one occasion I have know the woman they were referring too. Two of those women were my daughters unbeknownst to those fellow male employees. I know for a fact these women had no implants. When I said the women were naturally endowed the males refused to believe me. I did not tell them why I knew. Some people cling to their biases like a ball python to a rat.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)