Biblical Night Crawlers

She was the fourth prostitute this month and the third one with a scar on her belly. Perhaps the reminder of a routine debridement- though I can't think of a malady that requires an incision that stretches from the navel down the pubis, but then again I am not a doctor.

I work in an office, handling paper. Usually the correspondence of someone, or something that must always be marked urgent. I am not sure if I am particularly good at my job, or just how well I will be rewarded ,should I continue adroitly in it.

At the moment my pittance, barely covers the essentials. Essentials I have had to reprioritize, to exclude rent, and some utilities since I decided that hookers were essential, and needed to be included.

Her scar wasn't as unpleasant, as the others, which were all the more displeasing after, the dear admission they charged. She even proffered another go, without the mention of price.
Just before the roosters saw the morning light, she told me her name and about the virgin girl in the Bible she was named after.

Abishag, a little more than a misnomer.

"You can say that I warm bodies too."

A caretaker to King David in the gloom of his years, Abishag was a bed nurse, whose duty it was to warm the shivering monarch.

Abishag in my mind, sounds like she might have been smoking hot, delicate and possibly very smart. This combination makes for uxorial matter in my book. But how long would that have lasted, with my propensity of prostitutes.

Besides, I am not sure I believe 'warmth', was the extent of her bedside ministerings, not -to- mention her name, which reminds me of my grandmother, even though her name was Matilda, God bless her soul.

It was my grandmother that got me into prostitutes in the first place. Well not prostitutes, but reading the Bible. As a child, I hated Sundays.

The first day of the week, when most kids were filling the hours with things they didn't get a chance to do the day before; fishing, cricket, or just sitting about under the breadfruit tree.

My belly grumbled at church.It was at my grandmother's behest, and I never had much of a choice, other than to don my Sunday best, and hold granny's hand on the way to the bus stop.

It was the same thing every week, out of bed at five, just to miss breakfast so my granny can skylark with the votary, and talk about hats.

When the church bell finally pealed, it was the beginning of four hours of wanderlust,and dozing, from which I was always awoken, by an elbow to the ribs
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We,( and I say we in reference to my siblings) didn't hold fast to a set of unyielding ecclesiastical precepts, that occasionally weigh piteously on some stern christian households. So there was no reason for me to act the newly emancipated ostiary turned hooligan when I finally left home.

But, still I did. I left for the big city at the age of eighteen and immediately found work,only to spend my wages prodigiously and exhaustively. If you've read the opening, you have gathered this much.

Rahab: The madam of Jericho

Delilah: Of Samson and Delilah. Yes she was.

Oholibah: My favourite

Mary Magdalene: No she wasn't

As necessary as undertaking and just as old, prostitution has had it's name sullied from it's incipience in 10,000,000,000 B.C by obscurants and misanthropes alike. In that year , even with the worlds population a negative fraction of what it is now, people still found a way to hate. This hate is stored in the putrid hearts, and expelled from the festering mouths of the type of person, who has only recently had dealings in the very acts with, the very people , he presently harangues. These are usually overly pious statesmen, or men of aplomb and stature. One thing is certain you will find both these men mingling at your local brothel, sometimes with each other, but that is neither here nor there. What is, is the brothel.

Her name is Rahab and according to Josephus the historian she was a harlot who managed an inn. In today's speak that would translate to a 'ho in a cathouse'. Located in the land promised the Israelites, Jericho was a land of intimidating and fearsome men. That is why Joshua, Moses's understudy, ordered men to spy and detail the land. This would not have been possible without Rahab. It is written that Rahab hid the spies under the flax atop her roof.

When the soldiers came to inquire about the men, they found nothing and suspected nothing as it was the time of year when barley , wheat and flax is expected to be out drying. Her house was built in the cliffs and though it never mentions other women with her, the word prostitute is mentioned time and time again.

Someone once told me that the role of women in the Bible is magnified twofold. There are many stories of women, which sometimes has no relation to the whole story in part. This signifies that their presence was greater than what we can usually imagine. For example Queen of Sheba visited with King Solomon, and was completely enamoured with his presence and surroundings.

Today, many Ethiopians still believe Solomon sired a child with her.It turns out that only just recently that Jews in Israel started to recognize their brethren across the strait.

By this logic I am going to go out on a limb and claim that Rahab ran a brothel, which I guess can be considered an inn, when defined loosely. Most people already accept the fact that her hanging a red scarf out the window as a sign for the spies to rescue her and her 'family' after an upheaval, signifies the birth of the redlight district.

I know the kind of people and places that constitute a red light district.

Now everybody knows the love story of Samson and Delilah, but I ask you this.How is that a love story? Delilah strikes me as a vicious maenad, and they don't make for much, lady or prostitute. She never seemed to return his love, and it sounds to me, as though he was rather smitten by Delilah, and she knew it. The Philistine leaders wanted to know the source of Samson's strength. They were tired of getting their asses kicked, with the jawbone of an ass, and fiery foxes, setting ablaze their fields.Samson had to be stopped, at all cost. But how? Samson had incredible strength and seemed to enjoy a good brawl, so the Philistines were open to suggestions. One day they got word of the illicit affair and hatched a plan. They offered Delilah money, yes money, to find out from whence his unusual strength came. She accepted.

Samson loved her, he also loved hookers. The latter is mentioned in the book of Judges chapter 16. Samson reveal the source of his strength, then he awoke to a fight with a bad haircut. He didn't stand a chance. Long story short; he got his eyes gouged out and was forced to be the court jester. Still think this was a love story?

Oholibah was real filthy, it says she continued the prostitutions of her sister Oholah. This particular story is so obscene and pornographic that I am afraid the good editors at Hubpages may not permit me to recreate it here. So I suggest you head off to Ezekiel 23 for more about men whose genitals are like genitals of donkeys.

Oh the case of Mary Magdalene! For years I truly believed this woman was one hell of a hooker. I mean she must have been, if our lord and savior was willing to hang out with her. I searched the scriptures for evidence. I came across nothing.Nothing at all. No rumors, no mistaken Identity, not even a john. Oh there was a bit of adultery and a near stoning, but no hookery.

So let me clear the air, Mary Magdalene was not a prostitute and I'm not sure what that word hookery means.