ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Funny Blonde Jokes

Updated on September 22, 2010

Blonde Jokes

Blonde jokes are probably one of the more common jokes beside "yo mama jokes." Face it, they're just popular. I mean, I don't know one person that's never heard of a blonde joke (except children).

The funniest blonde jokes are those that are well... true... I mean, we all know a handful of blondes that aren't the stereotypical num-nuts, but we all know those stereotypical, air-headed blondes are wide and vast across the map.

Does It Hurt When I Do This?

So, a beautiful, young red- head goes to the doctor and claims that her body hurts when she touches it.

The doctor says to her, "Impossible. Show me."

The red- head takes her finger and pushed on her knee, screams in pain, touches her elbow, screams again. Then she touches her stomach and screams once again. Last, she touches her ankle, and once again screams in pain. Basically, everywhere she touched, she screamed in pain.

After seeing what the red- head had said was true, the doctor says, "You're not a natural red- head, are you?"

"No, I'm really a blonde."

The doctor, replies, "I figured. Your finger's broken."

Car Trouble

This blonde was driving home on the highway, and a hailstorm all of a sudden started. It left her car dented all over. So, she decided to go to a car repair shop to ask the owner how much it would cost to remove all the dents. But, seeing that she was a blonde, he winked at his partner, and told her it wouldn't cost her a thing if only she followed his instructions.

The blonde woman drove home. Her blonde roommate came out of the house to find her friend (the first blonde), sitting on the ground blowing on the tail pipe.

"What are you doing!?" the second blonde asked the first.

She looked up with a big smile on her face and a black ring around her mouth. "Well, the man at the car repair shop said that I could save a lot of money if I blew into the tail pipe. He said the dents would pop out."

"Duh! , but you have to roll up the windows, first."

Black And Blonde

The editor of this magazine informed the beautiful blonde woman that they cannot employ her to work as a model to the men's magazine.

He told her that, "It's obvious that your hair isn't naturally blonde, because the hair between your leg's is black."

The blonde woman picked up a heavy paperweight and slammed it on the editor's fingers.

"Why the Hell did you do that!?"

With a sweet smile, she answered, "Your fingers are turning black, are they not? Well, they've only been banged one time."

Disney Land

So these three blondes were trying to get to Disney Land via the highway.

They saw a big sign that read, "Disney Land Left."

So they drove home.

Mating Call

Q. So, what's a blonde's mating call?

A. "I'm drunk."

Although, pretty simple in nature, this blonde joke still gets a laugh.

Blonde Joke- This is a Library

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      jjblack62 

      6 years ago

      A lot of blonde jokes are all one liners so that men and brunettes can understand them. lol

    • Granny's House profile image

      Granny's House 

      8 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

      How do you drown a blond....put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool!

    • profile image

      Hamster Crazy 

      9 years ago

      *dies laughing* I'm blond, but as long as people don't mean the jokes as a put-down, I'm fine with them.

    • profile image

      funny blonde jokes 

      10 years ago

      hahaaha I love the list of jokes Whiteney!! There funny as anything, I love the broken finger joke especially. Im going to send this to a few friends but them being blonde themselves, they might not get the joke??...

    • Hazok profile image

      Hazok 

      10 years ago from Malaysia

      Funny, cruel but funny. great hub.

    • Theter profile image

      Theter 

      10 years ago

      The car trouble and library video joke was good! Had me laughing away..wasn't expecting mercedes to do that video.

    • The Indexer profile image

      John Welford 

      10 years ago from UK

      Hm! I see that you're not actually blonde yourself, Whitney! Have you heard this one?

      A blonde, a brunette and and a redhead were driving across the desert when the car broke down miles from anywhere, and they decided to leave the car and find help.

      The brunette took a bagfull of food with her - "there's nothing to eat in the desert", she said.

      The redhead took a large bottle of water - "you can get pretty thirsty in the desert", she said.

      The blonde unscrewed the car door. "What are you doing that for?" the other two asked. "Well", said the blonde, "it can get very hot in the desert, and when it does I'll wind the window down".

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)