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Funny Blonde Jokes

Updated on September 22, 2010

Blonde Jokes

Blonde jokes are probably one of the more common jokes beside "yo mama jokes." Face it, they're just popular. I mean, I don't know one person that's never heard of a blonde joke (except children).

The funniest blonde jokes are those that are well... true... I mean, we all know a handful of blondes that aren't the stereotypical num-nuts, but we all know those stereotypical, air-headed blondes are wide and vast across the map.

Does It Hurt When I Do This?

So, a beautiful, young red- head goes to the doctor and claims that her body hurts when she touches it.

The doctor says to her, "Impossible. Show me."

The red- head takes her finger and pushed on her knee, screams in pain, touches her elbow, screams again. Then she touches her stomach and screams once again. Last, she touches her ankle, and once again screams in pain. Basically, everywhere she touched, she screamed in pain.

After seeing what the red- head had said was true, the doctor says, "You're not a natural red- head, are you?"

"No, I'm really a blonde."

The doctor, replies, "I figured. Your finger's broken."

Car Trouble

This blonde was driving home on the highway, and a hailstorm all of a sudden started. It left her car dented all over. So, she decided to go to a car repair shop to ask the owner how much it would cost to remove all the dents. But, seeing that she was a blonde, he winked at his partner, and told her it wouldn't cost her a thing if only she followed his instructions.

The blonde woman drove home. Her blonde roommate came out of the house to find her friend (the first blonde), sitting on the ground blowing on the tail pipe.

"What are you doing!?" the second blonde asked the first.

She looked up with a big smile on her face and a black ring around her mouth. "Well, the man at the car repair shop said that I could save a lot of money if I blew into the tail pipe. He said the dents would pop out."

"Duh! , but you have to roll up the windows, first."

Black And Blonde

The editor of this magazine informed the beautiful blonde woman that they cannot employ her to work as a model to the men's magazine.

He told her that, "It's obvious that your hair isn't naturally blonde, because the hair between your leg's is black."

The blonde woman picked up a heavy paperweight and slammed it on the editor's fingers.

"Why the Hell did you do that!?"

With a sweet smile, she answered, "Your fingers are turning black, are they not? Well, they've only been banged one time."

Disney Land

So these three blondes were trying to get to Disney Land via the highway.

They saw a big sign that read, "Disney Land Left."

So they drove home.

Mating Call

Q. So, what's a blonde's mating call?

A. "I'm drunk."

Although, pretty simple in nature, this blonde joke still gets a laugh.

Blonde Joke- This is a Library


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    • profile image


      6 years ago

      A lot of blonde jokes are all one liners so that men and brunettes can understand them. lol

    • Granny's House profile image

      Granny's House 

      8 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

      How do you drown a blond....put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool!

    • profile image

      Hamster Crazy 

      9 years ago

      *dies laughing* I'm blond, but as long as people don't mean the jokes as a put-down, I'm fine with them.

    • profile image

      funny blonde jokes 

      11 years ago

      hahaaha I love the list of jokes Whiteney!! There funny as anything, I love the broken finger joke especially. Im going to send this to a few friends but them being blonde themselves, they might not get the joke??...

    • Hazok profile image


      11 years ago from Malaysia

      Funny, cruel but funny. great hub.

    • Theter profile image


      11 years ago

      The car trouble and library video joke was good! Had me laughing away..wasn't expecting mercedes to do that video.

    • The Indexer profile image

      John Welford 

      11 years ago from UK

      Hm! I see that you're not actually blonde yourself, Whitney! Have you heard this one?

      A blonde, a brunette and and a redhead were driving across the desert when the car broke down miles from anywhere, and they decided to leave the car and find help.

      The brunette took a bagfull of food with her - "there's nothing to eat in the desert", she said.

      The redhead took a large bottle of water - "you can get pretty thirsty in the desert", she said.

      The blonde unscrewed the car door. "What are you doing that for?" the other two asked. "Well", said the blonde, "it can get very hot in the desert, and when it does I'll wind the window down".


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