CBS's Big Bang Theory Discusses Who They'll Vote For In Election 2004

(Raj and Howard come over to see Leonard on election day 2004)

Howard: Gonna go vote?

Leonard: Oh come on Howard, they're all liars. And you guys know Kerry's screwed anyway, I don't even know why you bother.

Howard: The Democrats are for Israel, Kerry's for Israel. I'm gonna vote for Kerry.

Leonard: It's so messed up, I mean statistically our votes would never count.

Howard: Leonard you're not really going to be undecided on this thing, are you?

Leonard: I don't know, maybe I am.

Howard: You sure you want to give Bush even an ounce of credence seeing as you are a...man of science?

Leonard: You realize what you're saying? This is CBS! They might as well call the people who pay our salaries Bush TV.

(Sheldon comes in with Penny with her booming body hanging out)

Penny: Hey guy, goooooo politics!

Sheldon: Yes. Who doesn't love the glorified jury duty of leaving the apartment to walk four blocks to a sawdust-covered gymnasium so they can mislocate my name and address and give me a ballot filled with arbitrary local councilmen and their subsidiaries that is promptly handed over to the authority of a governing body that regards the candidate who actually gets the most ballots to be the loser of said contest.

Leonard (confused): Uh...Sheldon? What were you doing with Penny and why do you have lipstick all over the crotch of your jogging pants?

Sheldon: Oh yes, Leonard. I'm currently serving as the recipient of a generous supply of coitis particularly of the oral persuasion with the most attractive female you've ever done so with i.e. Penny, because that's what the fans of our program all want to see.

Leonard (confused): ....oh.

Howard: So Sheldon, who are you gonna vote for?

Penny: Let me guess...Sheldon's gonna vote Democratic because they like smart people.

Howard: No no...he's gonna vote for Bush because he supports war against anyone different from him.

Leonard: Are you guys insane? Clearly Sheldon's a Ralph Nader fan. Nader's a pundit of the political system and you know a guy like Sheldon would have tons of fundamental problems with something so...well...hypocritically constructed and arbitrarily mantained, isn't that right, Sheldon?

Sheldon: Vote? I don't vote. Contrary to the mass view that voting is mandatory in order to show gratitude towards the idea of American democracy, I would also put to you that entailed within these freedoms is the understanding that the point of freedoms is to separate the voluntary such as customs from the mandatory such as laws, we are doing much more to show our gratitude by acknowledging said difference, i.e. the right to vote rather then the requirement to.

The others go...huh.

Penny then turns to Raj.

Penny: How about you, Raj?

Leonard: Penny, you know he can't talk to you unless he's drunk.

Howard: Yeah sweet-cheeks, besides, we're science guys...but at least we're both white and from this country. Raj probably has more problems with the Republicans then anybody.

Raj: Screw you guys. George Bush is the greatest.

The others look at Raj stunned.

Penny: Are you serious?

Raj: I'm Hindu, right?

Penny: ...yeah.

Raj: And Bush is fighting Muslims, right?

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