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Baby Bumps

Updated on April 8, 2012

Is Pregancy Erogenous?

Demi  Moore on the cover of Vanity Fair
Demi Moore on the cover of Vanity Fair

Bumps Toward or Away From Glamor?

I require clarification about this blossoming penchant for celebrities to appear on cover pages of widely-circulated magazines to show off their pregnant bumps. Traditionally, viewing the bump has been restricted to family and close-friend members, but not any more. Why? What is driving the need of celebrities to show their bumps to the entire world? My guesses go along these lines (1) the celebrity wishes to display to the world that the bump has done nothing to diminish her exhibitionism; or (2) the displaying of the bump has become a kind of requirement to display that the pregnancy is being carried with pride and fortitude. The third possibility is for the celebrity to display an I-don't-give-a-shit attitude about what you viewers think; I'm pregnant and take it or leave it.

Perhaps the grouping can be subdivided into one of the three possibilities above. The second requirement for clarification is this: (1) Do we care about the bumps? (2) If we care about the bumps, why? I have no scientific data or analysis to form an opinion, but instinctively, I would answer that we do not care about the bumps -- that they are being forced upon us, and if the bumps were to be removed, few of us among the general population would feel dissatisfied/cheated.

I seem to remember the trend getting under way with a cover shot of Demi Moore. Upon seeing the cover, I had to ask myself, "are we to regard this as beautiful?" If that was the desired result, it didn't work on me. Having lived with a pregnant woman, I cannot see many advantages -- stretched skin marks, broken veins, a generally bloated look, and a wife-organism that was either scarfing down hamburgers, fries, and malts, or one that was spewing the same materials into a toilet.

Feeling a foreign body moving within the mound led my thinking more toward the profound than feelings of amorousness. Right or wrong, I felt no excitement about the idea of ejecting my sperm somewhere in the direction of my developing son/daughter. To me it seemed sacrilegious, but I was raised Catholic.

My wife took it as rejection (which it was) and assumed it was about the mound (which it was). Someone out there tell me that I wasn't alone in thinking my pregnant wife to be sort of sacrosanct. Today, the weekly bump seems to be part of the normal grocery check-out line.

Whether you wish to see it or not -- it is standing out there for you to witness. In conclusion, I would confess the following: There is nothing WRONG with a woman being photographed in a stage of pregnancy. If the idea behind the photography is to excite a male response, the effort is a failure.

With nothing to back up my claim, I sense that most men prefer NOT to see pregnant women on photographic display -- that it does nothing to get their endorphins flowing. The purpose of the photography is driven by magazine subscriptions and a less than prurient interest in celebrity figures.

Let's face it, the bulge is patently unattractive, though few would be bold enough to concur. Look at it this way: Are more men trying to jump pregnant women or non-pregnant women? I think the answer is pretty clear and the answer obvious.

This is not to say all women who are pregnant should be taken behind the barn and shot. No, if a man loves his woman, the bump is just a bump, and he'll figure out some way of still having sex with a lady who is already primed for the charge. But, let's be honest with ourselves. The bulging women on our newsstand magazines are NOT erotic. They are obviously knocked-up, and the male of any mammalian species is likely to go sniffing elsewhere to deal with his lust. Women who think otherwise -- that pregnant women look extra sexy are welcome to crawl on top of them because there are a lot of husbands/mates who have no desire to do so whatsoever.

Is It an Epidemic?

Jessica Simpson on the Cover of Elle
Jessica Simpson on the Cover of Elle

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    • ramurray3 profile image

      ramurray3 5 years ago from New York City

      I think it's a beautiful thing

    • Tams R profile image

      Tams R 5 years ago from Missouri

      It is not meant to be erotic! It is beautiful and I know many men who believe the same.

      I feel you are way off base with this.

    • rjbatty profile image
      Author

      rjbatty 5 years ago from Irvine

      ramurray3 & Tams R: I am not arguing the esoteric beauty (or lack thereof) of the female pregnant figure. I'm merely projecting the feelings of our species, some two million years in the making. From a scientific or clinical standpoint -- and even from an evolutionary standpoint, a male of our species ought to be less interested sexually in a woman who is already pregnant. As with other mammals, the job of the male, especially the roaming male, is to impregnate as many females as possible. Selecting females who are already carrying a child do not advance the objectives of the male, as the female cannot be impregnated with his sperm. It is with this in mind that I postulate that a pregnant female is a less erotic source of stimuli than a non-pregnant female. Not many men will openly speak about the subject today, lest he be subjected to a barrage of objections, so I don't expect many men to even comment on this Hub. The opinion of another woman on this subject is basically irrelevant, as they will feel an overwhelming compulsion to guard and protect their gender for no reason other than they share the same sex. More specifically, I am attempting to dig into this relatively new form of commercialism. Why do famous women feel compelled to show off their bumps? What is their motivation and objective? My purpose in writing the Hub is not to subjugate or devalue the objects of my scrutiny but merely to gain a more dimensional view of its mysterious purposes.

    • Gemini Fox profile image

      Gemini Fox 5 years ago

      Probably shouldn't bother to comment on this hub as being a woman my opinion is apparently going to be viewed as irrelevant . . . wow! And, no, have no "overwhelming compulsion to guard and protect" . . . huge assumption!

      Have to respond anyway . . . they're doing it for the shock value and thus the publicity - what else?! No mystery there at all! So Demi was a shock and all the others are now a yawn. Couldn't believe Jessica did this - exactly how desperate for attention do you have to be?! Thought it was tacky for Demi to do it and even worse for Jessica.

      But apparently the magazines are now realizing that even naked bumps are not drawing the attention they once were (and maybe they even polled some men) so now we have four year olds hanging off naked boobs. I'm in no way a prude but that was utterly gross . . . but probably upping the magazine's sales to men exponentially.

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