Changes and Reasons, Story Of Life In Hell

To tell you the truth I'm still a teenager, but I have literally seen a lot in the past two years. You see what two years is not that small span of time, and i have a lot to tell, so i had this mental debate about, from where to start, so I guess starting from the beginning would be the best.

To tell the truth, it all started quite early, at that time I was just three, my parents were well settled in life, both had jobs that paid them well, but my mom she was quite or lets say is quite mentally unstable, she is like she wants everything her way, hence many a times my mom and dad had arguments, which left my mom in a very bad mood, and hence she took it all out on me, she used to beat me without any reason, most of the year i had black and blue spots all over my body, but yet i never complained. As the years went by mom had another child, and hence had to leave her job, so she became more unstable, i got beaten nearly everyday, at first I was quite good at studies, but slowly my academic performance fell, my mom got angrier, then i became sick, and just year after year the torture increased, and even I accepted it as my life, after some time I was diagnosed with asthma, my social group declined, I became a loner, happy days were scarce, i gave up on life, stopped eating, wanting to die, but nothing happened, the torture continued... just increasing day by day, but what did I know things were about to change. My dad got promoted, and he was to be transferred, so my was school was changed, now was the time for the change...

My new school, it was quite far from my home took me nearly three hours to reach my school, hence it kept me out of my home, that is away from my parents for full twelve hours, it was a great relief, in this school i made new friends, real friends, most of them were not very rich, some of them were ward of laborers, but they were rich at heart, something that my parents didn't had, and everyday i was looking forward to going to school, I was laughing, I was socializing, at that time my age was 10 years so after a full 7 years I was getting back to life, it was amazing, slowly but continuously i was becoming free, then it went on, and i opened up, at home however thee situation was somewhat same, but now i had support of my friends, though I was broken, but my friends fixed me, like this I became twelve, a pre - teen, now I started bunking school, friends became my life, but then as life would have I was moved out of the city to a new city, I was broken once again, beaten up, missing my old buddies, trying to hide behind my tears, maybe that's when i developed this insomnia...

Well shifting into this new city, i was totally broken, beaten by mom everyday, loosing my interest in studies day by day... but as they life goes on, it was the same for me... as the days passed on I made new friends, I was not a freak any more, I had friends, then I met this guy, he was cool, had money, had freedom, had dreams, totally opposite of what i was, and we became best friends, he was 2 years older than me, but that didn't matter, now I told him everything about my life, and he constantly told me that I need to fight, he taught me that, I was an individual, and that i had the full right to choose my future, to make my own decisions, and i did what he told me, I fought, plus i was a teen now, puberty had its own effect too, I changed dramatically, I fought like anything, I screamed at them, I threatened them that I will tell the police, and then they were quite, everything changed in my life, for the first time I tasted freedom, days were passing by, I was happy, now I had many friend, till now I was 14, and I took to smoking and drinking, that other guy tried to stop me, but i didn't cared, I had became a rebel, and then one day I went to my friends house, the guy who made me free, and guess what I found... I found him hanging by the fan, with a note for me, it said, "you were a brother to me, very special, I'm happy that I could help you, but I never told you I had cancer and didn't want to die in pain, so I made my choice, hope you will live life to it's fullest, god bless you", after 3 years i cried, I cried like hell, I drank the whole night long, the next day that was 23 October, all the friends we gathered together, and formed a gang, we had our motto, we are free and no one controls us, "live free, die young", and things changed....

We started doing drugs, staying out at night, I was like the leader, we got tattoos, we started selling drugs, all sorts, we believed in pure stuff and we sold the purest thing available, hence our demand increased, old gangs were loosing customers, we making a lot of money around 50k per month, we were rich, we had bikes, and then we got in race, and we won cause we drove like we got nothing to loose, think about guys, who have no life, no dreams, no fear death, I can promise you, we were the devil itself, I had training in martial arts, so i entered in illegal fighting, I lost some, won some, slowly slowly, each day I rose in the city, people were afraid of our gang, we were on acid now, and that took away everything we earned, however i got over it, but my friends never did, one died of overdose, now again I once again was standing at the bottom from where I started, our gang was broken, and I knew only one thing its not too late yet... I remembered the words of my dead bestie, that I was an individual and no one controls my life...

We talked all the time, we became best friends, then one day I told her that i loved her, I told her what she means to me, and she was like wow, what know, I have become obsessed with you I love you, and everything was changed forever, no more gangs, no more fights, no drugs, just love, days went by, we went through a lot of tough time, and still going through tough time but we are both with each other, live like each other's support system, hoping to make it to the end...

I got my reason, I hope everyone will have their own, if not they will... hold on a little longer, hold on a little tighter, life is not that bad.. though it teaches a lot. Failure is not final, if you see, most of the greatest people have failed more times than they had succeed, and the greatest courage is in moving on, so move on, leave the dark days behind, but then don't forget them.

Please, don't judge people, you don't know what they have been through.

Thank you...