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Coming This Fall! New Reality Shows For Your Enjoyment! (Alert: Sarcasm ahead!)

Updated on January 10, 2014

Coming September 22nd, join us on the continuing adventures of Honey Truckers! Jim Bob and Joe Bob own a Honey Truck in Northern Arkansas, and they have the "run" of the area. The premiere episode will thrill you and might even cause you to make a run for the bidet!

The boys are called by their cousin, and Jim Bob's wife Daisy Mae who is also their receptionist to an emergency on Dogleg Road to the home of the Mayor, Dusty Rhoade. Seems Dusty's wife Sugar has dropped a diamond ring down the toilet while cleaning it with the toilet brush. Guess nobody told her that wasn't a good idea! Their challenge (should they choose to accept it) is to take their Honey Truck out to the Mayor's house and suck that septic tank dry! Once it's cleaned out, they have a opportunity to earn an extra $50 if they locate that diamond ring. How will they do it? Will they be able to locate the ring inside a 2500 gallon septic tank and save the Mayor's wife the grief of having to admit to her husband that she dropped it down the toilet again? Stay tuned, and be sure to bring along a barf bag just in case this gets too hard to handle! Sponsored by Grant's Tomb Septic Tanks, built strong enough to house a President.

Debuting on September 3rd, follow us into the heartland of America as we try to sell houses in a decrepit area of America with Buy This House! Learn why Real Estate agents and Realtors have more than one job here. Follow Stephan as he starts his day out driving a school bus full of screaming meemies, then a quick change of clothes in a nearby truck stop and he becomes the town's most successful Realtor! Today's challenge is to find a buyer for the 1874 farm home on 10 acres outside of town. Once this was the classiest house in the county, but the previous owners have let it run down badly. The bank foreclosed on it and thieves have stolen all of the copper from the air conditioner and heater, but it remains on the market as is. A couple is coming from California with an eye on restoring the old girl to her former glory. Stephan has done his homework on the potential buyers, and knows they have more money than sense. He gleefully rubs his hands together as P.T. Barnum's famous line "There's a sucker born every minute" runs through his mind. Will he close the deal? Will he be forced to bring out the tired, but ever effective "I've had a lot of interest in this house today; you're the fourth couple I've shown it to and it's only 9:30 AM!" line? Tune in and see!

Just down the road from the 1874 house drive a couple of rugged men in a truck. In the rear of their truck lies what appears to be wire and copper tubing. Who are these mysterious men? Follow along on an undercover investigation with Sheriff John Brown as he delves into the underbelly of society and Copper Thieves! Can he catch the people who continue to steal miles and miles of copper wire and copper tubing from dilapidated houses and summer homes alike? Then, an unexpected twist! Pulling up with the thieves, he discovers that their ringleader is none other than a Real Estate person who deals almost exclusively in foreclosures! Can the Sheriff catch this slippery eel of a person who continues to represent the banks on houses left for dead by their bankrupt owners while becoming the crime lord of the county by directing his band of misfits in their quest for gold from copper? Will he need to put a sting operation into place and put a bid in on one of these houses to force the real estate person's hand? Exciting times ahead!

New for Fall! Jess and Bess and 6 too many! Jess has been laid off from his job for 2 years, and the unemployment is about to run out. Bess has been working double shifts down at the bowling alley to help make ends meet while singing karaoke in the bar at the bowling alley. Listen as she sings her famous song "I got kids! They're multiplying!" to the tune of "You're The One That I Want". Jess goes into the woods to cut firewood for the town's folk, and to make mantle pieces to sell online at hardheadedhardwoodhillbillies. He knows that a good mantle might bring $300 or more. How long will it take for him to cut and finish this order for the person in New York City? And will the buyer be satisfied with it? Watch as the kids Billie Jean, Bobby Sue, Billy Ray, James Dean, Frank Jesse, and little Willie Joe keep the house, feed the horses, milk the cows, plow the fields, slop the hogs, collect the eggs, fix dinner, go to school, do their homework, and play on their trampoline. Follow Jess deep into the woods behind the house as he slips into his moonshine still and tips back a jug. Will he find a way for his family to make it? Will he be forced to send his beloved Willie Joe off to live with his parents in order to help the family survive? Only time will tell.

And finally, the crown jewel in our reality show lineup this fall: Still Life At Home. Watch through the lens of our hidden cameras in the home of the Johnsons. They are a normal, everyday kind of family with two great kids; Jeremy Johnson age 16 and Jessica Johnson age 18. Jeremy has a job as a stocker at the local grocery store. It isn’t a big store, but it has been the hometown store for 40 years. Watch as his employers struggle with the loss of business to the local big box store which has recently gone up on the remains of the Drive-In Theater. Learn the history of the Drive-In from the local town folk, and see the disappointment in their eyes as it was bulldozed under to make room for acres of blacktopped parking and a shiny new store that sells everything a person could possibly want, and some things they have no reason for but will buy anyway. Follow along as Jeremy balances his studies, being a football player, and his job. Watch as he actually spends time with his friends outside, playing catch or fishing and hunting; not wasting it inside on a computer or carrying on multiple conversations via texting. Learn Life’s lessons with Jeremy as he discovers that things he wants will come through hard work, patience and dedication; that nothing in life is free. Witness as he actually has to spend a weekend evening at home with his girlfriend Sarah watching a movie on tv because he has no money left for a date after he pays his insurance, fills up his car, and puts back some money for college.

See Jessica, the sweet young jewel of her momma’s eye, as she maintains a 4.0 GPA, then watch as other, less enthusiastic students get scholarship offers and grants that she cannot hope for. She too works, as an aide for the local librarian, but her pay is barely enough to cover her liability insurance and gas on her old car. She scrimps and saves, as she has for the past six years, in order to afford college. She knows that times are tough, and her parents are barely bringing in enough to pay their house payment and bills. She has hope of a future beyond the city limits, but prepares for a life within them.

The parents, Bill and Susie Johnson. As normal a couple as you will ever see on tv. High school sweethearts who married soon after graduation, they live on his family farm. Times have been hard, and they have been forced to sell off some of the acreage to make ends meet. Now farming only a few hundred acres out of what was once several thousand, they perform crop rotation annually to better save the farmland. Watch as Bill goes through his everyday duties of rising early to plow the soil and then walk the rows as he plants the seed. Worry as a late frost comes and see the fear in Bill’s face as he wonders if this will kill his crop. Will the spring rains come and save the crop, or will this year be another dust bowl? Will his job at the chicken facility be maintained as the man in charge of raising the chickens with another influx of illegal aliens on the way from south of the border?

Then we meet Susie. She is a homemaker, and a county champion pie baker who transformed that talent into a modestly successful business online selling her pies across the country, and selling her cookbook “Bake Like Your Grandmother Taught You”. Watch as she surprises her hard working husband one evening with a trip for them on their upcoming 20th Wedding Anniversary to Silver Dollar City in Branson, Missouri. When he finds that she has helped to save their farm from future disasters with her online business and there will be money for their daughter to attend the local university, he breaks down and actual tears are seen flowing down his face for the love and devotion he feels for his wife. See how a family takes on all comers in the world, all of the filth and dirt and hardships mean nothing as they face them together, as a family. We could all learn a lesson from them.


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    • Mr Archer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mr Archer 

      5 years ago from Missouri

      Thank you Rose!. You are dead on when you say those shows are scripted about nothing. I hate The Bachelor and Bachelorette and the like. Can't stand them. Glad you enjoyed these ideas though! You have a blessed weekend and take care.

    • rose-the planner profile image

      rose-the planner 

      5 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

      OMG..........this was hilarious! You have proven how people glue themselves to watch pathetic, scripted reality shows about absolutely nothing. You can literally make up anything in your head and it has the potential of success on television today. This was funny! Thanks for sharing. (Voted Up) -Rose

    • Mr Archer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mr Archer 

      5 years ago from Missouri

      Why thank you Ma'am! Glad you got a chuckle out of them. I don't know if I am creative, or just full of the stuff Honey Truckers run their business on. Personally, I believe the networks are searching for more shock value shows as we have become immune to normalcy in our world today. I liked the last show "Still Life At Home" the best too. I believe there are still a few of these families out there; they're just hiding out and working hard!

      Thanks for the stop and the comment, and especially the share. You take care and have a great day!

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image


      5 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      Mr Archer, you are very creative! The last one actually sounded interesting, as in I would like to know these people, but not necessarily watch. It is amazing how many reality shows are out there, and even though this is meant to be funny, I wouldn't be surprised if one of the big channels came out with shows like these!

      I came over here to check this out when I saw your comment on Bill's article about reality shows. Very entertaining!

      Voted up and shared!

    • Mr Archer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mr Archer 

      5 years ago from Missouri

      I wholeheartedly agree. This stuff is nothing like the reality I live in. Coming this Fall: Bills, and How To Pay Them! or maybe "How To Live On Less Because The Government Takes More!" Or maybe even "What To Do When There's Nothing But Reality Shows On: Read A Good Book!" Take care, Kris. Thanks for the comment.

    • KrisL profile image


      5 years ago from S. Florida

      Voted up and Funny.

      I think what you've proved beyond a shadow of a doubt is the the "reality shows" the networks have (and maybe that we want to watch) are UNreality shows . . . real life doesn't sell as well.

    • Mr Archer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mr Archer 

      5 years ago from Missouri

      My pleasure, Miss Amy. I think my shows would be more enteraining than most that are already on tv, don't you?

    • Amy Becherer profile image

      Amy Becherer 

      5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Now that's a lineup as appealing as Honey Boo Boo or The Bachelor...Just goes to show you that "Honey Truckers" ain't the only TV programming that stinks. I can't imagine paying for cable TV when it's a truckload of the same manure. Thanks for the heads-up on the thumbs down!

    • Mr Archer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mr Archer 

      5 years ago from Missouri

      Well, that's too bad! These are the hit shows that someone like NBC just might need to pick up for the fall season. I cannot believe you would not enjoy watching as people pick through septic tanks for their treasure! If these don't strike your fancy, I have more bouncing around in this brain of mine just waiting for the chance to fall out! Like, Small Town Shytsters, a gut wrenching story about being a lawyer in a one horse town, or maybe Flea Markets: Undercover Expose' where we take our night vision goggles and lay in wait for the Flea Market people to visit our trash cans in the early morning hours before dawn on trash day. What do they find worth selling in their local booths? Tune in and find out!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I am so happy to report that without a television I will not be watching any of these show. Hooray! I found it interesting that in the latest ratings NBC ranked 5th....oh how the mighty have fallen!


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