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Daily Weird #21 Don't eat the toxic waste
Toxic Waste is Yummy! Toxic Waste may also be hazardous to your health.
I’d never heard of Toxic Waste until today. Well, OK, I've heard of toxic waste, but not Toxic Waste. Toxic Waste is a company that makes a line of candy for the person who likes to live dangerously. That’s understandable. Who wouldn’t want to live on the edge and eat Toxic Waste?
Me! That’s who. I wouldn’t. Especially since there seems to be a small “problem” with the candy bars. They’re actually toxic.
There was a recall recently on several of the candy bars made by Toxic Waste. The lead levels were twice what they should be. I guess a small amount of lead in a candy bar is acceptable; two times a small amount is not.
My question is how do you get lead into a candy bar to begin with? Do you beat the bar with a lead pipe? Do you slather it with paint from the 60’s? Do you roll it out into large squares with humongous #2 pencils?
I’ve heard sometimes bugs get into candy bars, I suspect even body parts may find their way in from time to time as well… but lead?
These bars are imported from Pakistan. This makes it all the more confusing as I believe that the middle eastern countries, as well as Mexico and parts the Ukraine are known for having some of the highest standards of food testing in the universe.
I think it’s important to point out that the Toxic Waste Company supports a greener planet. I don’t think they understand that this doesn’t mean turning people green. It’s difficult to find a decent translator these days. It’s nice to know they wanted to hop onto the “green” movement though unfortunately they took this to mean helping people to have “green movements” which I believe their candy does quite nicely.
All things considered, Toxic Waste Candy Company has tried. They’ve tried to support a greener planet, they’ve given people greater access to green poop (you had to know I would find a way to throw the "p" word in here), and they’ve tried to be honest when advertising their candies as “dangerous”.
At the end of the day, really, what else can you ask for?
For more information on this story click one of the links below.
- Toxic Waste Bars Have Hazardous Levels Of Lead, Recalled
Toxic Waste Nuclear Sludge Chew Bars have been recalled because one lot was found to have high levels of lead - 0.24 parts per million, as opposed to the FDA tolerance of 0.1ppm. The FDA an
- Toxic Waste Nuclear Sludge Chew Bars actually toxic; Candy bars contained lead, yanked from shelves
Talk about sweet irony. Indiana-based company Candy Dynamics has voluntarily recalled its Toxic Waste Nuclear Sludge Chew Bars after tests revealed the bars were actually toxic. Last week, officials
- Too Much Lead Prompts Recall Of \'Toxic Waste Nuclear Sludge\' Candy Bars : Shots - Health Blog : NP
Candy Dynamics is pulling all flavors of the bars ever produced because a cherry-flavored batch was found to contain more than 20 times the amount of lead allowed by the Food and Drug Administration.