Daily Weird #32 Please arrest me, I'm drunk
How drunk was she?
Most of us have heard 911 calls on the news. You can hear the frantic voice of the person who watched someone get shot, or who has been shot, or who has taken one two many shots- of Vodka.
Yes, it seems there’s a new trend. All the advertising from DADD, and MADD and SADD and GLADD (guys and ladies- who aren’t moms or dads or students- against drunk driving) has finally worked. Friends are not letting friends drive drunk. This is true even if the only friend they have is themselves.
Recently an operator took a 911 call that went something like this:
CALLER: “I’m calling to report a drunk driver on Granton Road”.
911 OPERATOR: “Are you driving behind them?”
CALLER: “Huh? What? No, I AM them.”
Sure, why not. I think the new commercials should just come right out and encourage everyone to be like this fine, slightly swaying citizen.
“Don’t drive drunk. Don’t let your friends drive drunk. If you drive drunk the law will get you anyway, so you might as well call them first ."
The police should start a new program giving free lattes to the first 50 drunk drivers to turn themselves in each night.
A lady in New York came home to find one of those “I tattletale to the cops on myself” people in her shower. She immediately called 911 only to find the guy in her bathroom had beat her to the punch.
HOMEOWNER: “There’s a guy in my bathroom”
911 OPERATOR: “We know, he just called us, he’s worried you have a gun.”
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the men of today are now officially complete and total pansies. It’s bad enough that a high percentage of men in their 20’s and 30’s seem to have no work ethic, but really, when even the bad guys become sissies it’s time to start doing some investigating.
I blame the hormones in the chicken. Seriously. Show me a guy who whines and complains and has no physical stamina… I’ll show you a chicken eater.
My advice is to always leave a bucket of chicken and a 6 pack of beer on the counter when you leave home. You may also want to keep the number for 911 in easy reach of the phone.
Proof that I'm not making this up is right below, click an take a look at these stories!
- Woman Calls Cops on Herself for Drunk Driving | wtsp.com
- Intruder calls 911, afraid homeowner may have gun - CNN.com
This time it was the intruder who called 911.