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Do Atheists Exist?

Updated on May 1, 2020
jimagain profile image

Jim pretends to be a writer. Jim also pretends to be a deep thinker. While both assertions can be debated, neither can be proven!

Evidence That Demands Controversy

Ah, the atheist! The topic of our dialectic today seems to harbor hatred against a non-entity whom he claims to not exist. But how can you hate some One whom you do not believe is there? In order to hate GOD, would He not have to exist? Does hating GOD ultimately prove His existence? I suppose if I myself were grasping at evidence, contrived or otherwise, to buttress my desire to believe in God, I would look no further than the vitriol of His disputers. Rather than to indulge in prolonging a controversy that precedes my own existence and will doubtless be debated long I expire, I choose to ponder another aspect of the controversy; do atheists exist?

Rhetoric, and other balls of inchoate gas

Before we consider my hypothesis any further, let me caution my fellow theists; lest we dislocate our arms in a metaphorical hyper-extended self-congratulatory pat on the back solely because we believe in God. I suspect God is not impressed simply by virtue of our profession. Fortunately for God, many people today still believe in Him despite those of us who claim to.

It seems any time we have some debate about the existence of God, the question of creation versus evolution presents itself. So to add to the confusion without resolving anything I shall present this brief analysis of the issue. I shan't bore you with further arguments about which came first; the chicken or the egg -not so hard to solve if you choose not to think about it! The answer is... we will never know because immediately afterwards somebody made fried chicken and an omelet. And that is why the preacher and the scientist cannot prove either!

Random bits of nothingness

Forget the Big Bang Theory. I think of it more easily explained as the Rabbit-that-pulled-itself-out-a-Hat theory. Think about it! How much indisputable evidence to this undeniable fact is exhibited on a daily basis? Who needs factories and assembly lines when things just happen daily which can only be explained by random chance ...and the inexplicable laws of gravity that orchestrate complex structures from random bits of nothingness ...spontaneously! Frankly, that's all the evidence I need! But just in case somebody smarter than me can successfully refute my Theory of Incredibly Complex Stuff Arising From Random Chaos, I have already formulated a back up theory to explain why we do not need a Creator to account for all the incredibly complicated structures of life teeming around. Note that I did not refer to these organized forms of life as 'creation' since that would have been an unfair assumption on my part.

In the absence of viable alternatives to the binary conflict that defines and pervades the discussion, I've managed to convince myself that alien life forms would be a more suitable explanation of the punctuated equilibrium of life and technological advances displayed through history of mankind. This theory makes the necessity of a Divine Being non-essential in the event of the collapse of the theory of evolution. Whew! I am so relieved because all this talk of 'God' with its concomitant presumptions of judgement and eternal destiny tends to make me uneasy!

I refuse to believe in Intelligent Design since I have yet to find any correlation statistically or otherwise to connect 'intelligence' with modern mankind.

But enough brilliant analysis! I shall resume my commentary to the subject, Do Atheists Exist? Let me frame the problem in it's proper context; If God does not exist, where do atheists come from? Here is how I think it may have happened...

Apparently this Darwin fellow created evolution, so I figure maybe atheists evolved from the same inchoate balls of cosmic gas that gave birth to matter & the universe. According to Stephen Hawking, gravity was the only law of physics required to orchestrate & synthesize the entire physical universe. This is a pretty big step up for gravity because until Isaac Newton, all we thought it was good for was to explain why apples fell out of trees. Come to think of it, the less you know about something, the easier it is to take quantum leaps of illogic. So maybe a few random facts about gravity would be conveniently sufficient to fabricate convenient theories from... from more inchoate balls of gas, I guess? This is extremely convenient because at the time all the universe just happened to appear out of nothingness, it would be several billion years later before scientists would be invented. This is why I refuse to believe in Intelligent Design since I have yet to find any correlation statistically or otherwise to connect intelligence with modern mankind. I've been forced to accept random chaos as the only viable non-theological substitute to creation.

It was Nietzsche who decreed God is dead. Later on Nietzsche died. Shortly after he died, he found out whether or not his postulate about God was correct. The rest of have yet to find out.

Unintelligent design

Things were too way too simple back then because everybody believed in God; so government regulations regarding the separation of church and state along with the Bureau of Separation of Truth From Facts had to invent theologians. Theologians quickly complicated things and really made a mess pretending to represent God while inflicting needless pain on the remainder of humanity. Apparently most theists were more interested in re-packaging their private concept of God for personal gain than representing the Deity. Shortly thereafter all the scientists and theists could get together and engage in endless debates about which came first; the chicken or the egg? Neither group proved any thing but were more concerned with ridiculing the other. Both groups subsequently emerged with egg on their face.

I am convinced evolution occurred, the only thing that remains to be disputed is which direction are we going? The more I observe intelligent man, the more I am forced to question this.

Ask Nietzsche....

Then the philosophers came along, like Nietzsche who decreed God is dead. Later on Nietzsche died. Shortly after he died, he found out whether or not his postulate about God was correct. However the rest of us are still waiting to hear the verdict. I can only guess how this all turned out since God has not told me yet. Don't bother consulting any of the televangelists about it. After watching them, I am positive God has nothing to do with any of those guys.

Before we had philosophers, educators had to construct categories like Superstition and Mythology so we could classify theology. Fortunately we no longer have to rely on religious charlatans to dupe humanity since the government and media are so much more proficient in this.

Sometime thereafter, scientists were invented. I think, someone must have invented brains so we could be smarter than God. As knowledge accumulated and technology advanced exponentially this became a necessity. Mankind had arbitrarily already convinced himself that 'God' could not possibly be more intelligent than his creatures. This would have been the ideal time to disprove Intelligent Design but by that time the universe was already in place.

Alternatives to thinking

If you're tired of trying to figure all this out, just turn on the TV and let your brain rot in HD technology. That way you won't have to think about life & death & the existence of God. Fortunately for those of us who prefer not to engage in the cerebral effort and the incumbent fatigue required by honest investigation, Hollywood intervened. Using the platform of advanced technology, the entertainment industry was able to provide that segment of the populace that prefers to not be bothered with the difficulty of thinking with an alternative to thought; i.e., amusement. This was done in order to relieve formerly sentient beings of the hardship that accompanies arduous thought. thereby reversing centuries of forward evolutionary progress, rescinding modern man to the lesser forms of sapien advance. Endless commercials and sitcoms and cable news networks; this may explain the reduced mental capacities of the Neanderthal progenitors.

The good news is by the time you get older they'll be able to pump HDTV directly into your occipital lobe so you won't have to hunt for your remote. This is useful since by then you won't be able to find your remote due to short term memory loss, anyway. If the medical community and the entertainment industry would get together, think of all the trouble and money we could save! If they hook up an EEG to your TV signal, they will know the moment you become brain dead, i.e., indefinite period of a total lack of brain activity - sitcoms & infomercials excluded. Then they could just unplug you, which will save time for the morticians. Come to think of it, we can eliminate the entire medical community by replacing them with the cable company; in the process we can finally provide free health insurance for all. You wont need a power chair if they can just hook you up in your recliner with HDTV with an IV & a catheter; you won't even have to get up to go get something to eat or run to the bathroom. Add maybe a defibrillator, that way if your heart were to quit working before you pay your cable bill... your cable bill?!! Well, there goes my free medical health care idea!

But I digress ...in case you are fortunate enough to be cremated and have your ashes sent into outer space, not only will you get better satellite signal strength and reception but you will also get to participate in the next Big Bang event. Unless they happen to run out of inchoate balls of gas! In any case you will have 3.8 billion years before they get around to invent HDTV again all over again.

I am convinced evolution occurred, the only thing that remains to be disputed is which direction are we going? All this makes me ponder whether we've been here before.

Back to where we started

In the meantime, don't expect any help from God regarding proof of His existence. As of yet, no one has had any response from God disputing the atheists claim. Perhaps He is too busy being concerned with things that really matter than debating the obvious. Maybe the only evidence available is to not engage in endless arguments but rather demonstrate your belief by putting it to use?

And since we, the rational subset of humanity that agrees with those who agree with our own selves, convinced of our own superiority we can summarily dismiss any opinions to the contrary. As intelligent beings, as evidenced by the preponderance of our intelligence, we had already collectively convinced ourselves that 'God' is merely a vestigial accoutrement of simpler times unfettered by critical thought. This incontrovertible conclusion brings us to unassailable proof that 'God' does not exist, which by extension means neither do atheists. All of which conveniently brings back to where I started. Do atheists exist?

The 'Whatever-after'!

I propose we resolve this debate once for all so humanity can get on with the paltry business of existing in a world without meaning or purpose. This will leave us with the luxury to ponder more meaningful questions, such as, Where did I leave my remote?

It seems to me the best we can arrive to through logic is some argument based on circular reasoning, which in the past has often been mistaken for intelligent thought. My solution is we pick an atheist and a theist and let them play leap frog over each other until they both join Nietzsche in the 'Whatever-after.'

Nietzsche can inform both which of them was right!

At that point the entire debate will be moot.

© 2011 Jim Henderson

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    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 

      9 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      Oh, i sensed the tongue in cheek. I have a few hubs on religion. I grew up in a Christian home but now I'd say my theological views are more on the liberal side

    • jimagain profile imageAUTHOR

      Jim Henderson 

      9 years ago from Hattiesburg, Mississippi

      Thanks PDXKaraokeGuy for the read. I don't get much traffic so I am desperate and grateful for any comments I may get. This Hub was more of a pitiful attempt at humor rather than a serious apologetic but yes, many who indicriminately fall under the umbrella label of 'christin' merely by virtue of profession have obscured the faith and have certainly benefited the opposition.

      Anyone familiar with John 16:3, would not be surprised, given what Jesus said about those who commit atrocity in the name of God; which history has itself only confirmed a multitude of times over in the course of the last two millenia.

      I have had the privilege of meeting most flavors of those who call themselves athiest, from the ambivalent to the hostile, and am grateful for their contributions to the faith.

      Thank you again for commenting. I look forward to reading several of your Hubs over the Holiday!

      Yours in Christ.

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 

      9 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      This was a good hub. I have found in my talks with atheists that they may not hate the idea of God, but they are disgusted and hate his followers, who claim to follow and believe in Him yet treat their neighbors in horrendous fashions and commit atrocities in His name.

      great thought provoking hub.

    • jimagain profile imageAUTHOR

      Jim Henderson 

      10 years ago from Hattiesburg, Mississippi

      So good to hear from parrster! Well said!! Whew! My head hurts just thinking about all those theories. I guess it takes a lot of education to complicate the obvious?!! Thanks for the comments.

    • jimagain profile imageAUTHOR

      Jim Henderson 

      10 years ago from Hattiesburg, Mississippi

      Thank you princesswithapen! I was going for a little humor on this sensitve subject without being overly sarcastic or condescending. I'm flattered you found it worth reading and I very much appreciate your generous comments! Again, thank you!

    • parrster profile image

      Richard Parr 

      10 years ago from Australia

      My take is this: The universe came into existence due to a theory, or possibly a series of theories that find their root in one giant unknown theory that as up to now we lack the computer power to theorise upon. Of course, there is the take that theories can’t exist… no, wait a minute… unless they’re empirically proven, theories can’t exist… no, that doesn’t work either… OK, try this; there was this one mother of a super massive explosion from which all theory finds its origin. And that’s a fact.

    • princesswithapen profile image

      princesswithapen 

      10 years ago

      Although we (mankind) may never come to an agreement on this sensitive issue, this hub has been very interesting from beginning to end. Definitely deserves a thumbs up. Voted up and awesome.

      P

    • jimagain profile imageAUTHOR

      Jim Henderson 

      10 years ago from Hattiesburg, Mississippi

      Thank you Casual Reader for your comments!

      The views I've read previously regarding the subject seemed particularly denigrating and mean-spirited and steeped in animosity. I welcome any intelligent discourse between open-minded individual embracing mutually exclusive points of view that doesn't call into question either's intellignece. But that is not what this was about. I can't help but wonder if you read beyond the first two paragraphs because this was not intended to be a serious apologetic. Rather my intent to indulge in a little humor in the matter, which is why I posted this under the category of Humor. Apparently I failed in that attempt.

      Thank you again!

    • The Casual Reader profile image

      The Casual Reader 

      10 years ago

      Generally speaking, atheists do not hate God. The argument could possibly be made that some of the more militant atheists hate religion or even possibly hate believers, but they more than likely just pity those they see as gullible more than hate them. Personally, I do believe there is a God and I believe there are also atheists, but I do not believe there is any significant animosity on the part of either side.

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