Do "I" Really Need an Entourage?

I'm no economics expert, but common sense tells me why the G.O.P. (Republican Party) is up in arms about how wasteful our Federal Government spending has become. I can relate to that. Personally, I hate to spend any of what money I have on things I do not need.

And in the past few months I have conducted my own personal study of our nation's economics, and have came to one area that "I" think, if addressed, and adjusted, might lead to our nation's economic recovery. And that "finding" is cutting-back of entourages.

If you watch television at all, then you are well-acquainted with the term "entourage." Former Heavyweight Boxing Champ, Mike Tyson had an entourage. Most heavyweight boxers have an entourage. Major politicians, congressmen, senators, vice-president Biden and president Obama both have an entourage. Even rock stars have an entourage. But don't get the terms "groupie" and "entourage" confused.

"Groupies" are sexy women who follow rock bands from city to city in hopes of "hooking up" with the band members after their concerts. Maybe become the wife of the bass player, drummer or lead singer. An "entourage" is a big group of men and women who travel with boxers, entertainers, congressmen, senators, vice president Biden and president Obama on their various political summits, vacations and personal appearances.

And they do what?

As "groupies" all "want" something from rock band members, an "entourage," is supposed to do things for the celebrity or V.I.P. they are working for on and off the road. Such things as making sure the local press knows that their boss is coming to town. Or not coming to town. Setting up personal accommodations for the celebrity or government V.I.P. in quality hotels, bed and breakfasts, but never a Motel 6, even if "they leave the light on for them." A V.I.P. means "Very Important Person," and thus, the V.I.P. requires only the "best" of everything. Now you understand what an entourage is paid to do.

Not all time.

Mike Tyson was accused of his ex-wife, Robin Givens, of having too many "freeloaders," in his entourage. But she never saw the fact that she herself was his main freeloader. Givens stated that Tyson gave jobs to friends like "giving candy to babies," and most of the "babies" just travelled with Tyson not doing any actual work, but being there to do things like always saying, "Great fight, Mike!" "You're the baddest man on the planet," and all for a hefty paycheck each week. I'm all for friendship. I love friendship, but when I become a wealthy, famous writer, I will "give" my friends financial gifts of my choosing, but not force them to be my "puppets," or "yes men and women." That, to me, is where friendship can be severely tainted.

The number of people in any given entourage is flexible. Some V.I.P's have as many as 30 people, while other V.I.P.'s have as many as 50 members. I guess you can measure the success of a celebrity by the number of people and friends in his or her entourage. Is that a fair assumption?

Let's say a celebrity who has just "made it," broke into "the big time," well they need an entourage because all celebrities have an entourage and the "newbie," celebrity is not one to "buck the system," so he or she sets out to form their own entourage, but uh, oh! There's a snag. Finances. The new celebrity isn't as financially-liquid as "the elite" celebrities, so he or she does the best with what he or she has. They resort to using family members who are more thrilled at just travelling with the new celebrity than getting an easy paycheck. So until the new celebrity conquers more levels of fame, he or she can at least "look" successful with their 8-person entourage

And sure, the new "kid on the block" remembers his neighborhood pals, "Joey," "L.C.," "Macky Z.," and "Harold," who stuck with him through good times and bad times, so the new celebrity feels an emotional obligation to give these good pals an easy job to show them that they are important to the new celebrity. I count 4 friends. How many do you count? So with his family members numbering 5, he now has 9 total members of his entourage. Wise planning by the new celebrity. And financially-sound too. His hefty payments for movies, sitcom cameo's and grand openings of Old Navy stores will be distributed with prudence. And the new celebrity will "have" money his or herself at the end of their career.

But, oh, stupid me. I forgot the new celebrity's show business agent, manager, press agent, attorney, and personal valet, now his entourage is up to 14 people. Wow, business must be booming. Not so. The show business agent, manager, press agent, attorney get a huge percentage of the new celeb's dough, just the personal valet is on the payroll at an agreed price. Not "all that glitters is gold," says an old adage, and how true that is.

Actually, and in "my" homemade economics plan, the new celebrity could get along very well without the 5 family members. That would save him $100,000.00 a year being that he is paying them $20,000.00. each per year just for "being there" on his tour bus or leer jet with him. Hey, I'd jump on that arrangement NOW if the opportunity arose. I can say, "nice show, man," or "you can't be beat, pal," as good as a paid entourage member.

And this guy's four neighborhood pals, given them a "group payment," such as $20,000.00 and let them deposit it in the bank and have an agreement drawn up that they can live on this for said number of months, or . . .just give them one new Mercedes-Benz to ride around in. One payment. Done. See how easy that was?

Let's assume, if only for a moment, that we are looking at a typical entourage who travels with some "elite" celebrity such as Jay-Z, popular rap singer, successful music mogul, business man and blessed husband of the gorgeous, Beyonce, and see what his entourage really does for him.

I say he travels with 60 people in his entourage. Okay? I would wager that he has 5 people who do nothing but shoot photos of him leaving his private jet, having dinner, and going to bed. Man, these photog's work like a mule. He must have as high as 6 highly-trained bodyguards and we know what they do. 10 "buddies," who just appear in photos with him to make him look even more popular. 3 chefs to prepare his meals, 10 wardrobe coordinators to choose "the best" duds for him to wear, 5 press agents to tell the press how much he appreciates the town of "Old Shoes, New Jersey," 4 manicurists, and 20 people who run his errands, shine his shoes, take care of his dry cleaning, and doing nice things for Beyonce, so that adds up to 60 people total in Jay-Z's entourage. All he has to do is perform. One show. Done. What a thrill to just work with such a gracious star.

Now for my entourage when I become a famous writer with money to burn. I will have, and I know this already, 1 person to make my coffee but only in the mornings. They only work a half a day, but get paid for an entire day. 1 person to get my mail. Same pay and work schedule as the "coffee manager." 1 person to supply me with fresh Krispy Kreme doughnuts, but they will work most of the week and for the same pay as the "coffee manager," and "mail coordinator." 1 computer tech who can work at his own business, but be ready to help me whenever I need him or her, but a hefty bonus. No family members. I will send them a check at various times in the year. Only 3 friends from my childhood and they are here just so I can take breaks and "chew the fat," about old times with them.

My wife will receive a huge weekly payment to spend as she wishes, but my 3 grandkids will also receive a huge check to spend only on necessities such as school supplies, clothes, and savings for college educations. No money to be wasted on helium balloons that only go flat. And no wasteful spending on buying another celebrity's books, CD's or movies. Well, maybe one, Justin Bieber, my 2 granddaughters love him. And my grandson can buy himself a John Cena Fan Club membership for Cena is his favorite WWE wrestler. Conscious spending. That isn't so hard.

And as for me, all I have to worry about is "churning out" one successful best-seller each month all through the year.

Hmmm. Come to think of it. Something's wrong here. I'm doing the bulk of the work and my entourage is receiving most of my money.

I know. My entourage can write the best-sellers while "I" make my own coffee, get my own Krispy Kremes and get my own mail.

Now I'm thinking that an entourage is just "part of the territory" when you achieve fame.

In short. I can't win.