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Don't Be That Guy

Updated on August 27, 2013

What guy you ask? You know him, you see him all the time. We know him all too well because he's hard to miss, taking the call on his cellphone at the movie theater, or dropping f-bombs in front of small children. The guy who yells constantly for no reason while waiting in public lines. (I call that last guy my brother)

No matter the case, we've all had our experiences with that guy. To be completely honest, there may have been times in my youth when, *gasp* I may have even been that guy.

Whether it's a cry for attention, an ego thing, or just plain immaturity, there's always that guy around. While everyone is just trying to have a good time, he's there, maybe with a group of others like him that make you think…this is why I don’t leave the house.

But you may not be safe there either. That guy can surface at your door--hopefully not to pick up your daughter--when you least expect it. He's online as well, posting on facebook, twitter and even forwarding unwanted emails. No matter where you go, he's there, that guy. Here are some other examples:

Wearing sunglasses indoors – Although you may live in a small town, far from the big city clubs and nightlife, we've all seen this guy. There's Hollywood, wearing his frame-less sunglasses under the dim lamps at the local Applebees bar while he sips on a Bud light Lime. He's so big time, I bet he played high school football. Don’t be that guy.

Please look at me – This guy drives around the grocery store parking lot blasting his music as highly inappropriate lyrics pour out of the car for all to hear. He demands your attention….he drives a neon for goodness sure to notice the Tap Out sticker on the badly tinted windows. Don’t be that guy.

Get in the game! – Going out to a ball game to enjoy the summer evening and relaxing atmosphere? All is well until a group of drunken buffoons sit directly behind you and decide they will heckle the opposing players with unoriginal yet vulgar insults. Don’t be these guys.

Loud guy in line - Towards the end of my twenties I knew my time at the clubs or nightspots was coming to a thankful end, in fact, many times I was just going throught the motions. Nonetheless it never failed that if there was a line to get in, there were highly drunk, annoying people in that line. (not saying I wasn't drunk but by this point I could handle my alcohol) No matter the city or the venue, this guy was easy to spot. Sometimes shirtless in January, but wearing sunglasses at 11pm, he was there, yelling and looking for a fight. Don't be that guy.

Ear piece guy– At Subway trying to grab a quick bite to eat, the guy ahead of you is blathering to himself instead of ordering. Who is he talking to? And then you see it, the dreaded bluetooth earpiece. In your car, sure but Subway? Nobody's that important….don’t be that guy.

Quiet please – The library is supposed to be a quiet place, most people know this. Sure some kids or teenagers may be loud from time to time and that’s fine, but adults? Come on, they should know better. But it never fails that two adults will run into each other and have a reunion right there at the magazine section, loud enough for all to hear. Don’t be these guys.

Next please – At the gas station, you run in to grab a cup of coffee or snack. Unfortunately there is only one line open. You head to the back of the line and patiently wait as it slowly meanders towards the counter. With one person in front of you another register opens up and the guy in the back of the line steps up to the cashier. This is not how it works.. Don’t be that guy.

Forum Jerk – We all know this guy, lurking at the bottom of an interesting article, or in the forum of your favorite website. This guy’s sole mission in life is to spread his vast knowledge while belittling those idiots who are intellectually beneath him. Don’t be that guy.

Closed for thought – This is the guy who will never change and will never accept anyone who has different thoughts, beliefs, or opinions that him. They think anyone who disagrees should be avoided or in some cases deported or jailed. While patriotism is great and everyone should love their country, accepting and embracing our differences is what makes us special. Don’t be that guy.

Tipping the balance - By now we all know how this works. If you go out to eat you are expected to tip your waiter or waitress. Some people however, flat out refuse to do this. They see no need in tipping, all the waitstaff did was bring out the food. Oddly enough, usually the worst tippers are the most difficult tables. If you experience bad service, there is nothing wrong with sending a message, otherwise part of eating out involves tipping. Don't be that guy.

These are just a few examples of behavior that can drive the rest of us mad. Most people like to enjoy public outings and rarely cause a stir. So the next time you're out, enjoying yourself with friends or family, just remember there are other people out there so please, don't be that guy.


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    • weestro profile image

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      Thank shining, it took me longer than some to grow up, and I still have things to work on, but knowing is half the battle! Thanks for reading!

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 5 years ago from Upstate, New York

      Weestro - Love the touches of humor. This is so true to form and I have known many of them. My Uncle Phil falls into several of these categories.

      I too said good by to the nightlife and often finding myself looking back and recognizing some traits that came with immaturity. The problem with these guys are they never come out of it.

    • CyberShelley profile image

      Shelley Watson 5 years ago

      The dreaded bluetooth guy/gal or the cellphone jerk are pains, especially when they start using sign language to communicate with the counter staff. Good grief, how rude can one be? Enjoyed the giggle on some recognisable traits (not mine I hope). Up, funny and interesting.

    • weestro profile image

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      Anytime Unnamed, nobody likes the bluetooth guy, yet we always see him....or hear him talking about nothing! Thanks!

    • UnnamedHarald profile image

      David Hunt 5 years ago from Cedar Rapids, Iowa

      Ah, yes. The bluetooth guy. Striding through the aisle, standing in line, oblivious to everyone else, bombastic voice making sure everyone knows he's there while acknowledging nobody, showing everyone he's in charge and important and so very special. I loathe that guy-- and his lesser cousins who use their cell phones for the same purpose. Good article! Thanks for letting me rant.

    • weestro profile image

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      True indeed billybuc, I would probably hate 20 year old me , what a punk I was! Thanks!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Truth be told, Pete, I think we all have been that guy at one time or another....then, thankfully, most of us came to our senses. Great hub and I'm in total agreement.