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Dream-casting "Heart Shaped Box" by Joe Hill.

Updated on September 19, 2015

Two days ago, I began reading Joe Hill's horror novel, "Heart Shaped Box."
Five minutes ago, I finished it.
Phew.
That's all I have to say.
Phew.
Such a good book, if you haven't read it, read it now, and honestly, I don't get why you're reading this hub if you haven't read the book because you wouldn't understand!
Warner Bros. actually own the rights to any movie adaptation of HSB, but it's been... *ahem* on the cinematic "night road" for a few years now.
Tnank you, thank you.

Inside jokes aside, here's who I'd like to see play Hill's powerful characters.

Judas Coyne- Russell Crowe.

There's no arguing with this pick.
And trust me, this is a hard character to cast.
You need someone in their fifties... Who looks like he's in his fifties... who could've been a rock star at some point, can grow a beard, and seem kinda pissed off all the time!
Gary Oldman, Viggo Mortensen, and even the forbidden Mel Gibson came to mind before I finally settle on good ol' Russell Crowe.
He basically is an old, disgruntled rock star anyway.

I'm not alone in feeling this way, the author agrees.

Georgia (MaryBeth)- Olivia Wilde.

Judas' gothic lover is another really deep, really difficult character to cast.
While most dream-casters decided to go with actresses who are usually all tatted and pierced up, I decided to go with the wildly talented Olivia.
Don't think she has what it takes?
Go watch the quirkly, albeit hilarious movie, "Butter" and tell me she can't handle the southern distress that embodies "Georgia".

Craddock McDermott- Viggo Mortensen.

Aha!
Viggo reappears.
It's easy to go cliche here and grab an old creepy guy, but for me, Viggo makes a much more intimidating Craddock.
He's got a very gaunt face as is, and with a little bit of hollywood magic, he could look every inch the creepy ghoul that McDermott is.
Sir Christopher Lee also would've been perfect for this role, incidentally.

Danny Wooten- Elijah Wood.

Can't you just imagine Elijah Wood being a slimy, annoying suck-up?
I mean, really, think about how absolutely dorky this dude can be.
He's been away from the big screen for quite some time now, and I think people would like to see him return, even if it was as a doomed intern and not a hobbit.

Florida (Anna)- Anna Kendrick.

HEY!
I'M CASTING THESE MOVIES, I GET TO SAY WHO DOES WHAT AND ANNA ALWAYS DOES WHAT....
what?

In all seriousness, Anna Kendrick played a similar role in "Cake", an extremely depressing, if underwhelming movie that went straight to DVD not long ago.
Anna Kendrick has also gone blonde has recently as "The Last Five Years", and I really think that she has the stones to play just a complicated character.

Bammy- Margo Martindale.

I actually imagined Bammy as Margo, and I don't think a dream-cast for HSB necessarily needs this character to be cast...
But yeah.
This was too perfect to pass up.

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