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Favorite Quotes from Steve Martin

Updated on October 4, 2008

An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be.

Boy, those French: They have a different word for everything!

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

"Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them."

"A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true"

"You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies."

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

"I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal - high enough so you can look up her dress"

"First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me."

"I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't."

"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks."

"I gave my cat a bath the other day. . .they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, if was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that. . ."

"I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper."

"Love is a promise delivered already broken."

"Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke"

"I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot."

"When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of themselves... well..."

"I believe in eight of the ten commandments; and I believe in going to church every Sunday unless there's a game on"

"I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was. . . a large Arctic region covered with ice."

"It was so sweet backstage, you should have seen it: The Teamsters were helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his limo."

"There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that."

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

"Talking about music is like dancing about architecture."

"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy."

"The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor first because writing is what you do when you are ready and acting is what you do when someone else is ready."

"Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town."

"These times are much franker. For example, in the first movie we have to assume that the daughter and the son-in-law who got married were lovers before they got married. That could never have been in the '50s."

"There are some people that will not pick up a phone and call you, but if you knock on a door and talk to them, they'll talk back to you,"

"There was a point when I was around 14,"

"There was a time in my life when I was very interested in relationship psychology. Relationships end, but they don't end your life. But people do often spending more time finding out about failed relationships than finding successful ones."

"I would have felt a little funny if another actor was playing this role."

"We are comfortable, collectively, that those 12 [shootings] are related."

"I just brush it off and try to make a joke about it. Over the years it's been interesting."

"I'm surprised even now that I was aware of things like that at that age. I don't know why. But I decided I would just rather not do them. So I quit for a while."

"a pile of near-misses."

"We are just happy that we are here in Brazil and that this was a good ending."

"[On his breakthrough 1977 album] Let's Get Small, ... There's a million people onstage and everything's moving real fast and you can't understand a word they say but it doesn't matter and you just sit there and go, 'Wow! Look at the (breasts)! I'll bet there's 57 (breasts) up there!' "

"Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty."

"Lots of women are getting involved. They're not satisfied just being passengers anymore."

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

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  • profile image

    ed77burns 6 years ago

    I felt really nice to read your quotes mentioned in this hub.Beautiful quotes!!

  • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

    Patty Inglish 9 years ago from North America

    "Talking about music is like dancing about architecture."

    Exactly. :)

  • desert blondie profile image

    desert blondie 9 years ago from Palm trees, swimming pools, lots of sand, lots of sunscreen

    What a fantastic collection to share!

  • glassvisage profile image

    glassvisage 9 years ago from Northern California

    Such great quotes... I wanted to comment about a couple of them, but I can't choose just a few! He's so great... I just finished watching his Saturday Night Live collection. Genius :)