Turning Fantasy into Reality-is it a Good Idea?

Having fantasies are normal for many people. Sometimes people have sexual fantasies, while others fantasize about being powerful and controlling. Others fantasize that "someday" they'll quit their job, move to Fiji, and live on the beach. Hard working people fantasize about how they'll do nothing once they retire and live the good life.

When some fantasies are carried out in real life, problems pop up and suddenly we're faced with unbelievable consequences...leaving us to realize that fantasies are just that: make-believe scenarios that should stay in the make-believe world.

In the wake of the recent shootings in several states, we can't help but ask ourselves how these tragedies could happen. I believe that several things factor in to turning a young man into a killer. Easy gun access is one of the factors but I believe something else has more to do with the cause of these atrocities.

It is a well known fact that "Garbage in, garbage out". When parents allow their teenage boys to play violent video games for hours, days, weeks and months, there is no doubt in my mind that the violent scenes and make-believe killings gradually become "real" to the boys. In every single case, the killer was a lonely young man who spent hours killing in the fantasy world. At some point this became so real and "normal" to them that they carried out killings in the real world.

Psychologists and Psychiatrists have long told us that whatever we put into our minds does indeed affect us. The Bible teaches that we become what we focus on and challenges us to focus our minds on positive, pure things, and states that when we do, we will have peace.

How long will it take our nation to realize that what we allow our young people to put in their minds does them harm, and potentially can cost lives?

Sexual fantasies are common, and most people would admit to having at least one fantasy in this area. Some fantasies are quite tame, while others may involve multiple partners, sadism or violence.

I have counseled couples who had a fairly good marriage, until one of the partners decided it was time to "take the relationship to a new level". Fantasies are played out, which sometimes can add spice to the relationship, but other times can have devastating consequences. Sometimes the carrying out of the fantasies are the beginning of the end of the relationship. This happens when other people are involved, or destructive practices are made part of the relationship. Someone usually gets hurt, either emotionally or physically. One wife shared that her husband suggested an open marriage, and although she agreed, the long term health of their marriage suffered and they ended up divorced.

We wonder what makes some people "snap" or go over the edge and carry out acts that are unthinkable. I believe it has to do with what we feed our minds.

There's a story about a man who had two dogs, one white and one black. The dogs fought frequently and the question is: Which dog won the fights? The answer is that the dog who got fed more was the strongest and won the fights.

The moral of this story is that what we feed our minds will become stronger and become part of who we are, even leading us to carry out things that were only a part of our imagination at one time. We each have a responsibility to guard our minds, to guide our thoughts, and to have personal standards of what we will put in our minds. Remember, "Garbage in, garbage out"!