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Glastonbury Prediction

Updated on October 26, 2016

Glastonbury Festival 2017, Wed 21st to Sun 25th June 2017

It's that time of year again...

That's right, once again we find ourselves in the limbo between ticket release and the final line-up announcement. This means only one thing - predictions. and whilst many try, and consequently fail, I am going to do my best to try and predict the Headliners, and even some of the other artists, that will be gracing one of the many stages at Glastonbury Festival this year.

Radiohead's 'Angry Bear' spotted next to the pyramid stage sparking rumours

Radiohead

On the 20th October Glastonbury official announced that Radiohead will be headlining the Friday night of next years festival, this will be their 3rd after headline sets in 1997 and 2003, and the news of a return after 14 years has got many people excited - and rightly so. You can see for yourselves how much this band can blow Glastonbury away in the video below.

Emily Eavis (Daughter of Glastonbury owner Michael Eavis) said this about the group:

'I've grown up with Radiohead and they're about as good as it gets for me. They're just in a league of their own aren't they? Some of my happiest memories at the festival have been watching them play, from headlining in the rain 20 years ago when I was a teenager, to surprise sets in The Park and DJ'ing late night in Shangri-La. We are beyond excited that they're finally coming back to the Pyramid, it's incredibly special for everyone here.'

Exciting isn't it. The bands 9th studio album - A Moon Shaped Pool - went to number one earlier this year, and they have played many international festivals as the years rolled on. So it is safe to say that this announcement is seriously one to get excited about.

The rumours for these to be the headliners began the day before they were announced. this was due to the BBC's 'Glastonbury cam' capturing 2 men painting the bands iconic 'Angry Bear' logo on the grass next to the pyramid stage. eagle-eyed viewers quickly went on a rumour spree and it appears the festival were almost forced to prematurely announce their place on the bill.

Radiohead at Glastonbury 2003

Daft Punk and The Stones rumours

Daft Punk and The Stone Roses

The Major rumours circulating next years festival headliners were two of the biggest names in the game at the moment. The first being the French Duo Daft Punk.

Daft Punk have never played Glastonbury, and 2013's festival was rife with rumours that they'd make a secret appearance. However, by the Sunday of that years musical adventure, everybody's hopes and dreams had been shattered. After their 2006 headline slot at Coachella, the duo made a real name for themselves as heavyweights in performance. This festival appearance is still to this day seen as one of the greatest ever. Along with this comes the scary fact that Daft Punk have only had 2 solid tours, Alive (1997) and Alive (2007) with Alive (2006) being a festival tour. So the rumours that had came to surface here were quite an educational guess, especially with an Alive (2017) tour rumour being passed around viciously since September.

The Stone Roses are the Manchurian music scenes forefathers, breeding the likes of Oasis through the evolution of the Madchester movement in the 90's. The most mysterious thing about this band is that they've only ever released 2 full studio albums. they're a group that are constantly in hiatus, and then - out of the woodwork - comes another song that causes a real sense of nostalgia amongst those involved in the Madchester scene. The best part about these releases? each one has the ability to pull in new fans as well as old. With a back-catalogue full of songs such as Fools Gold, Waterfall and She Bangs the Drum, they are a sure to continue this on in the following years. Again the Stone Roses have never played Glastonbury - they were booked for the Saturday night slot back in 95' but had to pull out due to John Squires broken collar bone - so surely these boys will be on the list this year.

Unfortunately neither of these massive names will be gracing the pyramid stage at Glastonbury 2017. Emily Eavis spoke after the announcement of Radiohead announcing "There’s no more [headliner] announcements now for a while, but I will tell you the other two that have been rumoured aren’t happening,” Eavis said. “There was a news story that said Daft Punk and Stone Roses. That’s not true. I don’t know where that came from.” So that's the end of that.


What could have been - Stones play Fools Gold at Isle of Wight 2013

Dave Grohl continues to play set whilst getting treatment by medic

Foo Fighters

Foo Fighters were set to headline Glastonbury back in 2015, but after lead singer and guitarist Dave Grohl broke his leg on - or rather off - stage, they had to pull the plug on their set before it had even begun. rumours surfaced of them headlining in 2016 but these were shut down by owner Eavis early on after the announcement of Cold Play for last years Sunday slot. However, when speaking about our American day dream he did specify that ‘I’d like to see them play Glastonbury in the near future.’

I wouldn't write this off as a possibility just yet. We know that not only does Eavis think they have the ability to headline, but that he wants to see them on that stage. why not this year? I see little that would get in the way of this. I could easily see them as headliners on the Sunday night at next years festival.

Grohls accident which forced them to cancel Glastonbury 2015 headline slot

Lady Gaga

in a rather, strange, turn of events, Lady Gaga has quickly rose to the top of the list of rumoured artists at next years Glastonbury. She announced that she had been 'approached' by the organisers. When speaking to NME about this her hushed lips allowed these words to slide out:

'Glaaaastonbury! I don’t have permission to say anything about that'

What does this mean? I personally fail to see her as being headline worthy, but I do however know that she has a strong following and with the release of her third album 'Joanne' last week, tour dates are definitely on the horizon. and seeing as though much of the festivals other rumours are rock bands, the festival which claims to be a wide spread of diverse genres surely has to drop a headliner that isn't from the rock scene. Last year we had Kanye West who - despite his self proclaimed title of the 'Greatest living rock star' - and this year we had Adele of whom neither are a rock phenomenon. So surely next year they will have a diverse bill. again though, I fail to see lady gaga as being headline worthy, with only 3 studio albums behind her which though received well by critics, are hardly ground-breaking masterpieces I personally would be surprised to see her on the top of the list. Although I can almost guarantee her name will be on the list somewhere.

Who could make the festival more diverse?

Non-rock Artists

What with Eavis needing to bring a diverse range of music to the festival, and after Kanye's headline slot last year, can we expect another hip-hop/R&B treat next year? who could follow in the footsteps of not only Kanye but other greats like Jay-Z?

There is one name in particular that would stand out on the line-up, that name is Eminem. After a successful Headline slot at 2013's Reading Festival, the UK is calling out for a return of the rapper onto its soil. Where better than Glastonbury for The Real Slim Shady to reappear. After all there were speculations about him coming onto stage with Kanye last year, so why can't he have his own slot next year? with recent social media activity announcing a new album in the works and the release of diss song Campaign Speech - suitably following Glastonbury's un-spoken political side - Eminem is definitely fit for a headline slot at Glastonbury and I think this would please many people. However, I do also feel that this one may be a bit of a long shot, although he would fit the bill accordingly and with a new album on the way tour dates must be on the card somewhere, it isn't often Eminem appears in the UK, and although Glastonbury would be worth the travel, maybe the 2019 Glastonbury will see his name at the top of the bill.

However, that is not to right R&B off the list. There is another American rapper who's name has been on many peoples lips in the last year. Drake. With the release of his album Views, and singles such as Too Good and One Dance on many youths favourite playlists, it would be foolish to ignore his talent and write him off as a potential headliner. In fact, what with Glastonbury's demographic increasingly becoming younger as a new generation of festival goers take over, an artist like Drake on the bill would be a very clever move by Eavis and Co. Drakes also announced 'The Boy Meets World Tour' for 2017, with him playing shows at the O2 in February. I would be surprised to see him on the bill I must admit, but I wouldn't say it was a complete write off just yet.

On the topic of Drake, his ex-girlfriend - bad girl Ri-Ri - has also been rumoured to grace the stage next year. However, after her successful headline slot at V Festival this year, I cant help but to feel that the step up to the Pyramid so soon may be one that's ever so slightly too big. Rihanna's ability to control a crowd is phenomenal, don't get me wrong, but I think it will be a few more years yet until she is given the chance to show the Worthy Farm crowd that she's the baddest girl in town. However, again on the diversity subject, a female headline act would be suffice, and if the Gaga rumours are false, why not Ri-Ri?

Classic Rockers

Okay, so Radiohead have been confirmed already, and well in 2016 and they aren't exactly what you would call current rock stars. Though you could call them classic rockers, I think there is a chance that one of the left over headline slots may go to a real classic rock band.

With the re-joining of the band by Slash and Duff McKagen, Guns 'N' Roses have found themselves on the list of rumours for next years festival. Following in the footsteps of The Who in 2015, could these old timers step up and rock Worthy Farm in 2017? I think so, anthems like Sweet Child O'Mine and Paradise City would surely get the fans singing along. Seeing as though, despite a successful US tour and a venture down into South America, there have still not been any UK dates to see Guns 'N' Roses maybe they're waiting on the Glastonbury announcement to show their cards without arousing suspicion.

Equally, old school rockers AC/DC have been rumoured to make an appearance, though this rumour is especially unlikely as little activity has been seen from them in a short while. As much as it would be fantastic to have them on the Pyramid Stage, I just don't feel like 2017 is their year. The Rolling Stones managed it back in 2013, although even then it was shaky at times as to whether they'd play, and even during the set I was worried for Jagger's health, this is not to completely write them off, but I'd be in great doubt of any rumours surrounding AC/DC until there is official evidence.

Evidence is available however, to suggest a classic rock band may be on the bill at next years festival. looking at past line-ups, in 2013 the Rolling Stones took the main stage on Sunday night, and in 2015, the Who took pride and place. the year gap where there was no classic rock band on the bill could of been this years festival leaving 2017 to be in need of a classic rock band.

Other Rumours for Glastonbury 2017

Other names that have been suggested for the elusive Glastonbury headline slots are artists such as Ed Sheeran, Fleetwood Mac and Kasabian. none of these artists are to be ignored though. Ed Sheeran has proven on many occasions that he is fully capable of owning the crowd at Worthy Farm and his unique stage presence is famously impressive.

Fleetwood Mac are another gastronomical band that would be more than suffice to headline at Glastonbury next year.

Kasabian are always a fan favourite and Eavis is known to be a follower of band. As well as this, they have proven before that they can deal with headlining at Worthy Farm.

Conclusions

Type
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Dream Line-Up
Foo Fighters
Daft Punk
Stone Roses
Slim-Chance Line-Up
Radiohead
Ed Sheeran
Eminem
Predicted Line-Up
Radiohead
Lady Gaga/Foo Fighters
Guns 'N' Roses

Monkeying Around

No its not Harambe, but could Phil Collins be pulling the Sunday golden oldie slot?
No its not Harambe, but could Phil Collins be pulling the Sunday golden oldie slot?

Sunday Nostalgia Slot

Every year on the Sunday afternoon slot at the Pyramid stage, the crowd gets transported back in time as an old timer steps up and performs a classic hits set. past years have seen the likes of Lionel Ritchie, Dolly Parton and E.L.O grace the stage. there are two main rumours for this years Sunday slot.

The first is Diana Ross. That's right, ain't no mountain high enough that can stop her from playing Glastonbury, or is there? with the Sunday nostalgia slot it is hard to predict who they will announce as there is so many reasons why they should or shouldn't announce someone each year, but come on, this would be great wouldn't it.

The second rumour, and probably the strongest, is Genesis front man Phil Collins. the reason this rumour is so strong? he released tour dates of the UK that match up perfectly with this Sunday slot at Glastonbury. So you could be donning your gorilla suit and preparing yourself for some air drums on that Sunday morning if you're lucky.

My moneys on Phil Collins with this one.

Just for Good Measure

Your Vote!

Who Would You Like to See Headlining Glastonbury 2017?

See results

Final Word

No matter how much logic, how much evidence you can have, until the Glastonbury team officially announce it, nobody can ever know who will be headlining.

But isn't that half the fun of it.

Okay so you've spent an arm and a leg on a ticket to a festival where you might not even like the headline acts. But Glastonbury is so much more than who's headlining. there are literally hundreds of other stages promoting music all hours of the day and night, as well as other art forms constantly on show, you will never be bored.

Specifically this year though, its a safe bet you will not be disappointed, what with this being the last Glastonbury until 2019. Chances are you will have to wait until April/May time to actually find out so until then, I'll leave you in the capable hands of Emily Eavis to close;

'There is no Glastonbury in 2018, so it's like we're cramming two years of music, into one.'

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