Good morning, can I interest you in any jazz at all?
Could I disturb you for just a moment?
This won't take up much of your time, I promise.
I wonder if I could interest you in liking jazz?
Now, wait, I understand you're happy with your regular music but before you close this page on me, let me ask you something - are you really satisfied with your regular music? Is it washing away your worries? Can it get at all the awkward spots that a lot of today's music misses? Can it reach inside your soul? Ask yourself honestly.
Ah. You already have someone come in twice a week to sort out the depths of your soul.
Well then, let me ask you this - have you ever considered jazz as a means of sorting out the clutter inside? The remedy could be at your fingertips - jumbled thoughts untangled, junk brushed aside. For a short, peaceful while things could be tidy.
Oh no, of course I'm not suggesting you have a dirty mind!
But when was the last time you treated it to a little care and attention? How long since your soul was really pampered? Is it ever pampered with your regular music? That lingering heartache, that listlessness that crept up on you from nowhere...jazz finds the spot and sets to work. Results guaranteed. Now, before you click the page shut, just give me a moment more. I'd like to leave you, if I may, a free sample.
Gershwin* - you've heard of that of course; an ongoing favourite, withstanding the test of time. No, unfortunately, I've just given away my last sample - to a young lady in another article. Oh no, jazz isn't just for middle aged people. No, not at all! In fact, there's a growing range that appeals to younger jazz customers. Would you like to try some Diana Krall? Leaves a lovely deep, oaky finish. Or perhaps you'd prefer to try some Ella Fitzgerald, my personal favourite. Oh yes, I can strongly recommend it - leaves a warmth and lightheartedness that stays for days. Oh, we're in luck! I have one free sample left.........
Oh yes, all the soul and warmth is completely natural - and that's not a guarantee you'll always get today.
And what about something for lifting the spirits? Can I interest you in any Fats Waller? There's nothing quite like it for charm, it removes even the most stubborn heartache.
Or for a sparkle and finesse that will take your breath away why not try Oscar Peterson or Art Tatum? No, it's not so widely heard of these days but it still works marvels.
And the list goes on....but of course, you can't listen to me all day; you're a busy person I realise that.
But that's precisely the reason why you should try out jazz - one album to start with and you won't be able to get enough of it - that's what happened to me.
Oh yes, very reasonably priced. Just a few notes could change your whole day.
*always read label carefully before playing. May contain non-jazz music.