Guardians of the Galaxy - Top Eleven quotes
Most moviegoers would agree that Guardians of the Galaxy swept the competition this summer at theaters. Not only was it my favorite summer movies, but there's a growing consensus that it's a serious contender for the best Marvel movie yet and that's one hell of an accomplishment. This superhero flick success rides on its ability to fuse the norm of Marvel's other heavy-hitter franchises with its brilliant writing and humor.
With this in mind, anyone who has seen the movie will undoubtedly understand how hard it was to develop a list of just ten memorable quotes with such a polished script. In no particular order, here's my top eleven list of memorable Guardians quotes.
Obviously these are all important exchanges and scenes from the movie, so SPOILER WARNING!! If you haven't seen it yet, do yourself a favor and hold off reading this until you do.
Thanos: I will bathe the star-ways with your blood.
Sure we were teased with a glimpse of the titan lord following The Avengers's credit role. But Guardians lays the groundwork and sets the stage for what many fans (myself included) believes to be inevitably coming. This brutal declaration to the film's main antagonist, Ronan, demonstrates the price to be paid for crossing the powerful celestial being (Most powerful in the galaxy according to the film). I think that we'll remember this quote when Thanos assumes the role of main villain in the massive Marvel crossover that is looming before us.
Rocket Raccoon: Ain't no thing like me, except me!
As the short-tempered genetically-altered mammal so properly asserts, I can't ever recall any other armed, intergalactic raccoon superhero. Rocket has his emotional highs and lows throughout the course of the Guardian's journey, but this is the temperamental raccoon at his purest. I was excited to see Bradley Cooper name flash across the screen in the trailer and his vocal performance did not disappoint.
Gamora: And Quill... Your ship is filthy.
Peter contently watches her backside while she ascends the stairs, before turning to Rocket and Groot.
Peter Quill: She has no idea. If I had a blacklight, this place would look like a Jackson Pollock painting
Considering the movie opened with Peter admitting to a one-night-stand that he forgot she was in the sleeping quarters of his ship, we can only assume the not so legendary outlaw gets around a little bit. However, this disturbing revelation to Groot and Rocket further perpetuates Peter's sexual excursions. This was one of the many instances where this movie flexed the adult humor more regularly than previous Marvel installments.
Ronan: Citizens of Xandar, behold your guardians of the galaxy! What fruit have they wrought?
Peter Quill (While Dancing): Ooh, child, things are gonna get easier. Ooh child, things will get brighter. You listen to these words. Ooh child, things are gonna get easier. Ooh child things'll get brighter. Then bring it down hard! Someday...
Ronan: What are you doing?
Peter Quill: Dance-off, bro. Me and you.
He extends his hand to Gamora
Peter Quill: Gamora.
She dismissively shakes her head
Peter Quill: Subtle, taking it back.
Ronan: What are you doing?
Peter Quill: I'm distracting you, you big turd blossom!
What a hilarious way to interrupt the mounting tension, without losing an ounce of it. While the dance off line forced a smile, I could not help but laugh when Gamora refuses to assist for an obvious variety of reasons (including that she can't dance). But the fact that he calls the very being that had openly challenged Thanos, a "big turd blossom," takes the exchange to the next level.
Gamora: I'm a warrior, an assassin. I don't dance.
Peter Quill: Really? Well, on my planet, we have a legend about people like you. It's called Footloose. And in it, a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that, dancing, well, is the greatest thing there is.
Gamora: ...Who put the sticks up their butts?
The reference to Footloose had everybody dying in the theater, especially when Gamora countered with her inquiry, as Peter's new alien friends failed to understand his references to 80's Earth pop-culture. Most anticipated where Quill was taking the dialogue before even mentioning the title of the movie and that's what made Guardians so brilliant. The abducted earthling helped ground us with all of the extraterrestrial madness unfolding before our eyes. I cannot help but draw from a later line, as it directly ties back to this one and conjured another round of laughs for the same joke. Gamora later refers back to Quill's reference, when assaulting Ronan's massive ship, by excitedly announcing, "We're just like Kevin Bacon!"
Drax the Destroyer: This dumb tree is also my friend.
Groot responds with grunts
Drax the Destroyer: And this green whore is also...
Gamora: Oh, you must stop!
The deadly assassin and the destroyer did not start on the best of terms, as she is a known associate of Ronan, who killed Drax's family. However, Drax later confesses that he is sorry for causing the group unnecessary hardships from his vendetta and expresses his pleasure for having acquired such good friends. Always purveying his literal thoughts, he cannot help but refer to the sexual green warrior with a less than desirable description.
Peter Quill: They got my dick message!
The Nova Corps comes to assist the Guardians during the final confrontation with Ronan's warship. However, had it not been for the hilarious message that Peter had sent to them, in which he claimed to, "not be 100% a dick," the much needed reinforcements would have not arrived in time. The outlaw turns to his new companion with excitement and informs Gamora that the Corps indeed did receive his "dick message."
Rocket Raccoon: You actually got it? I was just kidding about the leg, I just thought it'd be funny!
When Rocket requested that Peter retrieve the prosthetic limb to complete there escape preparations, I'm sure everyone was just as perplexed as I was and wanted to see how this would fit into the raccoons scheme. After breaching the guard tower, Rocket laughs at Peter when he proudly presents the artificial leg. This gag is utilized once more when prepping for the final battle with Ronan's ship, as Rocket requests the artificial eye from a nearby man. Luckily Quill dismisses its involvement, as he lost money the first time around.
Gamora: I know who you are, Peter Quill, and I am not some starry eyed waif here to succumb to your... your pelvic sorcery!
If the word "pelvic sorcery" doesn't make you laugh, you may be dead inside. A clever response from the assassin as Peter tries to seduce her through music. Instead of getting lucky, the outlaw finds a blade pressed to his neck and the rest of the gang in a barroom brawl.
Rocket Raccoon: No, Groot... don't do this, you'll die... why are you doing this?
Groot: WE are Groot.
No one I've talked to disagrees that the walking tree was tugging at their heartstrings when he broke his repeated dialect and begins with the word "we" as opposed to "I." Groot decides to sacrifice himself to save his new friends from a smoldering death, when Ronan's damage ship starts its declension. As he formed that protective cocoon, I could not help but mentally praise director James Gunn for I was already attached to these characters. Another aspect of this sequence that just further nods to the writing, was that Rocket demonstrates that he's not quite completely heartless. The sobbing raccoon's continued sadness transitions well into the final confrontation with Ronan. Anyway, I'm glad it all works out in the end and that we were treated to some dancing sapling action.
Ronan: You're mortal! How...
Peter Quill: You said it yourself bitch. We're the Guardians of the Galaxy.
The scene is epic to say the least. You're left in complete suspense wondering how Peter will survive the infinite stone's power, as he catches the mythical artifact. Joined first by Gamora, who rushes to his aide, the remainder of his friends slowly take hold of him. While initially it appears that the group is merely dispersing Quill's pain and only stalling their inevitable demise, the energy stabilizes as a result of the earthling's genetics. But what truly makes this already golden sequence perfect is Peter's response to the evil Ronan, before the group irradiates him from existence.
Which Guardian's quote is your favorite?
Could not recommend this enough!