ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Guilty, Maybe. But Definitely Stupid

Updated on June 24, 2012

It used to be crooks had certain rules pertaining to their profession. Apparently, that’s not the case anymore according to the number of popular “dumb crook” stories. An urban dictionary defines stupid as someone who has to look the word up because they don't know what it means. It’s an apt description for some of the criminals in this article.

For instance, most modern day bank robbers are committed by young males who obviously are clueless about how to pull the job off. Despite the widespread use of surveillance cameras, most make no attempt to disguise their features or case the joint beforehand. And if by some miracle they make it out the door with loot in hand, they have no escape plan or idea of where to stash it until the heat is off.

So, without further ado, let’s meet some of these Einstein’s who no doubt are in the running for the “Darwin Awards.”

· During a police lineup where there had been an eyewitness each man was ordered to say, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot.” The guilty party was instantly recognized when he angrily hollered, "That's not what I said!"

· A man in CA, held up a bank having no money on hand since it had gone out of business. The poor fellow was also seen by his mother while making his getaway. She informed the authorities.

· This holdup man was definitely not a chemist. He applied mercury ointment to his face thinking somehow it would make it invisible to surveillance cameras. Actually, it did the opposite making his features much more identifiable.

· A bank robbery that has to be the most quickly solved in history is one that occurred in MA...he stole a bank employee’s car to make his getaway.

· Then there was the bank robber who signed his demand note on the back of a withdrawal slip with his signature and account number.

· A man making an armed robbery at a drug store pulled a plastic bag over his face and discovered he had failed to cut breathing and eyeholes in it.

· A man walked into a convenience store, slapped a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. The clerk, happy to oblige, opened the register at which point the man pulled a gun and demanded all the cash. The man scooped up the loot and fled…leaving his $20 on the counter. The robber’s take was only $15.

· A company called Guns for Hire that stages gunfights for Western movies received a call from a middle aged woman. She wanted to hire them to kill her husband.

· Rather than serve time in prison a robber arranged a deal with the court to pay almost $10,000 in damages. For payment, he wrote a forged check. He got 10 years.

· After robbing a bank, the perpetrator fled and hijacked the closest car to make good his escape. He failed to notice it was a police cruiser.

· Police spent two hours attempting to persuade a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home to come out. When it became obvious no one was going to come out they fired numerous tear gas canisters into the windows. They failed to have any effect. It wasn’t until later one of the officers recognized their suspect was standing next to him shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

But it’s not only crooks, there are also law abiding citizens running around that should have a mental checkup.

When a doctor answered his phone, on the other end was a man about to go into hysterics. His wife was about to give birth and her contractions were about two minutes apart. After calming the father to be down he asked if this was her first child. He answered, "No, I’m her husband.”


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • JY3502 profile imageAUTHOR

      John Young 

      6 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

      John takes a bow.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 

      6 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      This is an excellent up. Voted up and awesome,

    • JY3502 profile imageAUTHOR

      John Young 

      6 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

      That's great! Mission accomplished.

    • MerCyn60 profile image

      MerCyn60 

      6 years ago from New Jersey shore

      Great hub. Laughed out loud - you made my day!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)