HILARIOUS VIDEOS - FUNNY PRANKS
A Japanese exchange student sat in a science classroom, totally stumped at a question on the final exam.
The question asked: "Give four advantages of breast milk."
What to write? He sighed, thinking he could not use personal experience. Suddenly, he smiled, remembering some things he has overheard his mother say.
1. No need to boil.
2. Never goes sour.
3. Available whenever necessary.
He still needed a fourth answer. He tried to put himself in the place of a child, but that didn't work. Suddenly, he smiled again.
He wrote as the final answer:
4. Available in attractive containers of varying sizes.
He sat back, considering how proud his friends would be for their genius friend who lived overseas.
Breast Feeding should not be attempted by fathers with hairy chests, since they can make the baby sneeze and give it wind. ~Mike Harding
A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three. ~Grantly Dick-Read
George Simmons in Sayonara Davey
A woman went to a discount store to purchase several items. When she finally got to the checker, she learned one of her items had no price.
She thought she'd die of embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "Price check on lane thirteen. Tampax. Supersize."
But if that wasn't bad enough, the person looking for the price misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "Thumbtacks."
In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom, "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"
I'm just a natural flirt, but I don't see it in a $exual way. A lot of the time I'm like an overexcited puppy. ~Kylie Minogue
Dad at Comedy Barn
I think the eyes flirt most. There are so many ways to use them. ~Anna Held
I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, F**k, Etc
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.
The one guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."
The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."
They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, F**k, Etc."
The Basic Instinct of the Person [13+]
Tricked Umbrella Wets Clients Prank
~ Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. ~ Hedy Lamarr
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee when one of the Catholic men tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh - My - God."
Hidden camera - Underarm Cream
A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle.
The first nerd was stunned and asked, "Where did you get such a nice bike?"
The second nerd replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want!'"
The second nerd nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
TOP TEN REASONS TO GO TO WORK NAYKID:
1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your a$$ in here by 8:00!"
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.
5. You want to see if it's like the dream.
6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.
7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
10. No one steals your chair.
HILARIOUS VIDEOS-FUNNY PRANKS
BEHIND EVERY GREAT WOMAN THERE IS A GUY LOOKING AT HER A$$
A man doing market research for Vaseline contacted a young mother of three and asked ' Have you ever used our product?'
She says, 'Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.'
'And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?'
'We use it for $ex.'
The researcher was a little surprised; 'Usually people lie say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, we know that most people do use it for $ex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for $ex?'
The woman says, 'I don't mind telling you at all... We put it on the doorknob to keep the kids out.'