Hints that it's Time to Find a New Band

Some bands last a long time - The Rolling Stones, for example - and some bands don't.  When I was in bands, their average lifespan was less then a year.  Sometimes it was less than a month.  Sometimes it was one rehearsal. 

How, bucko, can you know when it's time to find a new band?  Well, here's some helpful hints. 

It might be time to find a new band if: 

• You are the only one who still shows up for rehearsals
• You are the only one who still shows up for gigs
• There are no gigs
• The rest of the band decides it would rather stay in the garage and not do gigs
• You are a horn player, and the keyboard player has just purchased a keyboard that produces excellent electronic horn sounds
• You are a horn player, and the band starts to do gigs without the horn section
• You are a horn player
• The female vocalist (known in the biz as the 'chick singer') who was formerly in a relationship with the guitarist is now in a relationship with the drummer. 
• The female vocalist who was formerly in a relationship with your band leader is now in a relationship with the leader of some other band, but still singing with your band. 
• The female vocalist is in a relationship with the entire band. 
• The female vocalist, previously not in a relationship with anyone in the band, is now in a relationship with any member of the band
• The otherwise all-male band has a female vocalist
• You are a female vocalist
• You are a vocalist
• You are the only male in a metal band otherwise comprised of lesbians - unless you just plain don't talk at all and look somewhat like a girl
• You hear that part of the band did a gig without some other part of the band
• You hear, not from anyone in the band, that the band did a gig without you
• Your band decides to go on the road and you realize that you can't stand these people
• Your band decides to go on the road and doesn't tell you
• Your band cannot keep a bass player
• The band leader tells you, pointedly, "We're moving in a new direction." 
• Mostly the band leader tells you, "Lay out." 
• You repeatedly find after each set that someone has unplugged your instrument
• The band repeatedly gives you the wrong address for the gig
• The band keeps gigs secret from you
• The band keeps rehearsals secret from you
• The band changes its name and leaves town without you
• The band files a restraining order against you