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Homer Simpson Quotes Top 15

Updated on June 10, 2007

Homer Simpson

Homer Relaxing at Home


The world according to Homer Simpson, my top 15 Homer Simpson Quotes.

15) If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!

14) If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.

13) English? who needs that? I'm never going to England.

12) Roads are just a suggestion, Marge, Just like Pants.

11) Is the poop deck really what I think it is?

10) Vampires are make-believe, just like elves,gremlins and Eskimos.

09) Stupidity got us into this mess- and stupidity will get us out.

08) If God didn't want us to eat animals, then why'd he make them so tasty?

07) A woman is like a beer,they look good, they smell good and you'd step over your own mother to get one.

06) Donuts- is there anything they can't do?

05) It takes two to lie, Marge - one to lie and one to listen.

04) Kids you tried your best and failed miserably. the lesson is never try.

03) Pork chops and bacon my two favorite animals.

02) If the Bible has taught us anything - which it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports like hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing and such and such.

and we have a joint number 1)

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.

and) Homer no function beer well without.

Simpsons Movie Trailer

About Homer Simpson

Birthplace: North Carolina.

Height: Six feet tall.

Weight: Fluctuates from 239 to a whopping 315 lbs.!

Residence: Evergreen Terrace, the nicest upper-lower-middle class section of Springfield.

Occupation: Safety inspector at Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.

Likes: Donuts and Duff Beer.

Dislikes: His boss, Mr. Burns, and his neighbor, Ned Flanders.

Love him or hate him Homer Simpson is one of the funniest characters on TV


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    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 

      8 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      I have to confess that I Never saw an episode, but will have to do so now. I worked for a guy who took a lot of pride Homer as a role model and he lived in Springfield, Oregon, across the river from Eugene, Oregon where I live. Anyway, these quotes have convinced me.

    • fpherj48 profile image


      8 years ago from Carson City

      Jimmy.....I know this is a very popular program. Seems the Simpson's are everyone's favorite family.

      I see the commercials and hear the chatter when people talk about Homer and Marge, & that annoying baby of theirs....etc..I'm sure you can tell I've never watched even one episode.

      But, I can tell you, your hub has made me realize I know quite a few REAL LIFE Homers!!! lol.....UP & funny

    • RolyRetro profile image


      8 years ago from Brentwood, Essex, UK

      My favourite - This is everyone's fault but mine!

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Jimmy, I loved em all. I wish I could pick a fav. Hilarious, Homer is quite the character, thank you and Happy Birthday!

    • John Sarkis profile image

      John Sarkis 

      8 years ago from Winter Haven, FL

      Great hub. I loved it! What about "I'm so hungry I can eat an Arby's" ...can't argue with him about Donuts and bacon, because, they're two of my favorite things....

      Great hub - voted up


    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools Hogg 

      8 years ago from North-East UK

      Jimmy, I agree with Homer about most things - why did God make anmals so tasty? Brilliant hub, LMAO...voted uo and shared.

    • lobonorth profile image


      9 years ago

      Enjoyed the quotes and have built a hub around the notion of The Homer Simpson Effect and Nuclear Disasters! Thanks.

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 

      11 years ago from Ohio, USA


    • profile image


      13 years ago

      ps i ( i love simpsoms)

    • profile image


      13 years ago

      you have the nerve to go and write another websight which is probely as brainless as the suiced dog one you dog hater wack job

    • profile image


      13 years ago

      My favorite is No. 8 - If God didn't want us to eat animals, then why'd he make them so tasty? ;)

      Great quotes.

    • Isabella Snow profile image

      Isabella Snow 

      13 years ago

      18 years of the Simpsons? I remember when they were just skits on Tracey Ullman. Omigod I am so old. :(

    • Angela Harris profile image

      Angela Harris 

      13 years ago from Around the USA

      Homer and I share a lot of the same philosophies of life. ;-)

    • profile image


      13 years ago

      my favorite is "Alcohol: the cause of and solution to all of lifes problems"

    • profile image


      13 years ago

      My favorites are 13, 4, and 2. :)

      Nice list.

    • spacebull profile image


      13 years ago from Space

      You just have to love the guy :) Trailer is great!

    • profile image

      TV Fan 

      13 years ago

      That movie trailer is hilarious. I'm hoping this movie will have the humor of a bunch of episodes all rolled into one. I don't know if I have ever been so anxious for a movie to be out already.


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