Never Die! How to Be Immortal Forever

Do you want to live forever? Do you have a hankerin' to go on and on world without end? Do you enjoy thinking about being around when the Sun, around which our planet orbits, blinks out and the galaxy grows colder than Nancy Pelosi hugging a Republican?

First off, I didn't invent immortality. The art of sticking-around forever has been done many times before. Witness the Taoist Sages of ancient legend, or even Joan Rivers, who surely intends to go non-stop forever no matter how much plastic surgery it takes.

But I do know something about the best ways to become immortal, since the fear of dying is at the top of my phobia list.

So I have a number of strategies that I use whenever mortality tries to slip it's foot in the door and take me kicking and screaming out of this world.

First some illusions about death. Stress is not bad for you and in fact it will make you live longer the more of it you have. Stress flexes your stamina and increases your agility. Why do you think the tortoise is the longest living animal on the planet? Because it's darn-well filled with a stressful life--what with totting around that 75 pound tortoise shell on it's back all day. And this is good because the tortoise adapts to stress this way and in the process outlives every other life form known to man.

Which leads to the second secret. Slow down. The tortoise has learned this leasson to a tee. He could run if he had to, but what with that portable domicile he carries on his back, and somehow I don't think he would if he could. He enjoys his life. He takes it all in, one thought at a time and sometimes has a little nap in between them. He is the best example of immortality you could hope to see.

Thirdly to live forever, as I am doing, you need faith. You need, like Methusalah of Bible times, faith and wisdom who knew that they are one and same thing. A man of faith is a man who is wise enough to have any. Only those who see beyond this world are far-seeing and as such , long-living. They are sages, they are wise men from the East, they are meditative and they believe they will not die until the time, if ever, is right. This is the way to do it. Focus on being far-sighted--take in the wisdom of the ages and view the horizon of Hope which, as we all know, is just beyond the next moment, and the next and next. You will never arrive at Hope's end, and so you will never be defeated by Life.

Immortality is in all these things. And in many more.

Now getting back to myself---personally I've been immortal for as long as I can remember, if not before.

It all started when I discovered 'the secrets' to living forever mentioned above, and just went on from there...on and on from there....

Now I'm almost permanently immortal, except for a few glitches I have yet to iron out.

But once I do then I will be virtually eternal and can ask for my money back on my life insurance.

Immortality - Definition | WordIQ.com - Dictionary ...

So, Immortality is the concept of existing for a potentially infinite or indeterminate length of time. The most commonly conceived form of immortality involves a spiritual existence after physical death. Most people still believe in immortality of this type today. Many people believe that they can achieve "immortality" through their legacy and achievements they leave behind.

Immortali>>>>>>> Immortality concerns whether that surviving aspect continues to exist forever. While evidence for survival is not necessarily evidence for immortality, evidence against survival is clearly evidence against immortality. Thus articles advocating pure mortalism or "the extinction hypothesis"the thesis that death is the complete, permanent annihilation of the personreject immortality in virtue of rejecting survival after death.

CATHOLIC ENCYCLOPEDIA: Immortality
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> From the doctrine of immortality thus explained there have been sundry variations. The Greeks seem to have been among the first to attempt systematic philosophical treatment of the question of immortality. Pindar's conception of immortality and of its retributive character is more distinct and also more spiritual. We have not definite texts defining Socrates' view, but it seems clear that he must have been a believer in immortality.