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Never Die! How to Be Immortal Forever

Updated on August 4, 2012

Do you want to live forever? Do you have a hankerin' to go on and on world without end? Do you enjoy thinking about being around when the Sun, around which our planet orbits, blinks out and the galaxy grows colder than Nancy Pelosi hugging a Republican?

Stress is the Enemy

First off, I didn't invent immortality. The art of sticking-around forever has been done many times before. Witness the Taoist Sages of ancient legend, or even Joan Rivers, who surely intends to go non-stop forever no matter how much plastic surgery it takes.

But I do know something about the best ways to become immortal, since the fear of dying is at the top of my phobia list.

So I have a number of strategies that I use whenever mortality tries to slip it's foot in the door and take me kicking and screaming out of this world.

First some illusions about death. Stress is not bad for you and in fact it will make you live longer the more of it you have. Stress flexes your stamina and increases your agility. Why do you think the tortoise is the longest living animal on the planet? Because it's darn-well filled with a stressful life--what with totting around that 75 pound tortoise shell on it's back all day. And this is good because the tortoise adapts to stress this way and in the process outlives every other life form known to man.

Which leads to the second secret. Slow down. The tortoise has learned this leasson to a tee. He could run if he had to, but what with that portable domicile he carries on his back, and somehow I don't think he would if he could. He enjoys his life. He takes it all in, one thought at a time and sometimes has a little nap in between them. He is the best example of immortality you could hope to see.

Thirdly to live forever, as I am doing, you need faith. You need, like Methusalah of Bible times, faith and wisdom who knew that they are one and same thing. A man of faith is a man who is wise enough to have any. Only those who see beyond this world are far-seeing and as such , long-living. They are sages, they are wise men from the East, they are meditative and they believe they will not die until the time, if ever, is right. This is the way to do it. Focus on being far-sighted--take in the wisdom of the ages and view the horizon of Hope which, as we all know, is just beyond the next moment, and the next and next. You will never arrive at Hope's end, and so you will never be defeated by Life.

Immortality is in all these things. And in many more.

Ancient Chinese sages, they say, knew the secrets to immortality.
Ancient Chinese sages, they say, knew the secrets to immortality.

Now getting back to myself---personally I've been immortal for as long as I can remember, if not before.

It all started when I discovered 'the secrets' to living forever mentioned above, and just went on from there...on and on from there....

Now I'm almost permanently immortal, except for a few glitches I have yet to iron out.

But once I do then I will be virtually eternal and can ask for my money back on my life insurance.

Mortality and Immortality by William M. Harnett

Immortal Links

Immortality - Definition | - Dictionary ...

So, Immortality is the concept of existing for a potentially infinite or indeterminate length of time. The most commonly conceived form of immortality involves a spiritual existence after physical death. Most people still believe in immortality of this type today. Many people believe that they can achieve "immortality" through their legacy and achievements they leave behind.

Immortali>>>>>>> Immortality concerns whether that surviving aspect continues to exist forever. While evidence for survival is not necessarily evidence for immortality, evidence against survival is clearly evidence against immortality. Thus articles advocating pure mortalism or "the extinction hypothesis"the thesis that death is the complete, permanent annihilation of the personreject immortality in virtue of rejecting survival after death.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> From the doctrine of immortality thus explained there have been sundry variations. The Greeks seem to have been among the first to attempt systematic philosophical treatment of the question of immortality. Pindar's conception of immortality and of its retributive character is more distinct and also more spiritual. We have not definite texts defining Socrates' view, but it seems clear that he must have been a believer in immortality.


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  • profile image

    EmoKidgirl 4 years ago

    i dot understand this. is there a step-by-step to become immortal?!

  • Woody Marx profile image

    Woody Marx 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

    stelth: thank you for your insights.

  • profile image

    stelth-2824 5 years ago

    Hi. Woody Marx. I know you are Human as you used the eight immortals as an example, I personaly know Lu Dongbin. I am known as stelth-2824 as my user name and my true age, I agree stress is something used for survival thus life but also death. I can share something with you Immortality is both life and death as karma is one and the same. Hope your well.

  • Woody Marx profile image

    Woody Marx 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

    carcro: follow my instructions and you just might! :)

    Gm: thanks!

    sensiva: perhaps immortality insurance might be available someday.

  • carcro profile image

    Paul Cronin 6 years ago from Winnipeg

    I would be cool to live a few hundred years at least, I would love to be around in a few hundred years to see what the world looks like then, a time machine would be great too!

  • gmwilliams profile image

    Grace Marguerite Williams 6 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

    It is all in the mind. Excellent hub.

  • sensiva profile image

    sensiva 6 years ago

    I found that the insurance companies don't believe in immortality - ask them for the payment upfront on a life insurance policy and tell them that you will pay until you die ! They seem to think very little of your life expectancy !

  • Woody Marx profile image

    Woody Marx 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

    I know you will...the 9 lives and all that.:)

  • profile image

    Feline Prophet 6 years ago

    Long may you live! :)