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How to Make It Through a Movie Marathon

Updated on September 9, 2009

How to Make It Through a Movie Marathon

How to Make It Through a Movie Marathon

You and all your buddies have all decided that it is time to watch a couple of movies.  I think you have decided to watch all the Harry Potter movies, but I could be wrong.  It is the Scream trilogy isn't it?  Nonetheless, you have committed a lot of your life to be seated in front of a television screen--or if you really have a lot of money, at an actual movie theatre. You are about to do it!  You are about to be a part of a life changing event:  The Movie Marathon.  The real question is, are you prepared?

Here is a list of things you will need for your movie marathon:

Garbage bag full of popcorn.  You do not want to go hungry during the movie.  Therefore, grab at least 5 - 6 bags of your favorite microwave popcorn and start popping. This should only take about 15 - 20 minutes.  Once the bags are all popped, dump them into a big black garbage bag.  Next you will want to take a half a pound of butter and a tablespoon full of salt.  Dump that into the garbage bag.  Now take the garbage bag and start shaking!  This popcorn will be one of the elements that will keep you going through the movie.  Notice that you can change the popcorn to whatever salty snack you like; Chips or pretzels are usually a favorite amongst movie goers.  Enjoy the treat!

Several liters of your favorite soda.  With all that salt covering your tongue, you will want to save it with a cold beverage.  Find 2 two lire bottles of coke--if you think you can handle it try 4 liters of your favorite coke.  Make sure they are the ones that you like to drink because you will be drinking a hell of a lot of that stuff.  Pop the top off the bottles and stick a straw in.  Start drinking.

Depends diapers.  With all this eating, drink and constant watching, you will need to be prepared for the motionlessness.  Go to your local pharmacy and buy a pack of adult diapers.  Ask the pharmacist if you can try a pair on.  What do you think he will say.  When you have your diapers, put on a pair.  This will let you defecate in the same spot as where you are eating and watching the movie.  Diapers are life savers.

Find a pillow and sleeping bag.  You will want to be comfortable on your movie watching expedition.  Look in that closet of yours.  From it, pull out a pillow and sleeping bag.  If you do not have any of these, get a job and buy some.  If you think you can manage several hours without any soft support for your head and back, good luck.  Nevertheless, take the sleeping bag and pillow, then place it under your body.  Now you should be comfortable.  But wait! Stay up because you have to watch the movie.

Wake up pills.  Before you take any drugs, consult a professional.   So you can find these things at a pharmacist.  In fact, you can buy these pills while buying your diapers.  These pills will be perfect for when you start dozing off half way through the marathon.  You can replace pills with 10 pots of coffee.

These were a few tips on how to make it through a movie marathon.  I know it is tough, but you will be so happy that you have accomplished watching all those movie.  Your name will be the talk of the town.  So, sit back and enjoy your film...s.


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