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Humorous Stories About Kids and Animals

Updated on October 22, 2018

Out of the Mouthes of Babes

When my niece was in the first grade, her school had devised a class teaching the youngsters the importance of giving precise and detailed information to emergency response operators such as the child's name, address, detailed description of his or her home. Each child was given a hypothetical emergency to call the proper reporting department. My niece's "emergency" was a fire at her house.

She was asked the appropriate questions like her name, address, nature of the emergency. She answered those questions with no problems from her teacher.

When asked, "How will we know your house?"

Her reply got her into trouble, "My house will be the one on fire."

Kids Aren't Stupid

When my nephew was in the eighth grade, his school had given his class a project to complete and write an accompanying report. Each child was given a five pound bag of flour and told to take the bag home for a week and pretend it was an infant to care for. The child would have to get up in the middle of the night and make notes that a "diaper" was changed or the "baby" was fed, etc.

His report consisted of statements reflecting the project was not an accurate account of what it was really like to have a baby. He wrote from personal experience for he helped care for his sister when she was a baby. He said things like a real baby cries at all hours of the day and night, a real baby spits up the food they are fed. His funniest line was "real babies slobber all over everything, my gameboy. And don't get me started on how many TV remote controls we've had to replace because of the baby."

His final statement was a very tender sentiment, "You can't love a five pound bag of flour like you can a real baby."


Domino Gets Neutered

Domino was about eight months old when we had him neutered.  We were to leave him at the doctor's office early that morning and come back that afternoon to pick him up after his surgery.  The doctor's standard procedure for any type of surgery is draw blood from the animal and test it for any possible health problems that may interfere with the anesthesia medication. 

We had no sooner arrived home after leaving our beloved cat with the doctor when my cell phone rang.  The doctor was on the other end saying he could not handle our cat.  He was hissing and growling and trying to scratch him and his staff.  He said he could not perform the blood test because the cat was so headstrong.  He asked my permission to administer the anesthesia without the blood test.  I agreed because I knew that Domino's health history was excellent.

After the phone call was disconnected, I turned to my husband and said, "That cat ain't stupid. He knows what that doctor plans to do."

My husband replied, "Stick ya hand in his cage. He'll do the blood work."

I fully expected to see a casting call for Return of the Mummies when I went back to get my cat.

Domino Makes an Impression

Shortly after Domino's surgery, we decided we would change doctors for him because that doctor did seem to mishandle him. We started carrying him to a new doctor that would be open on Saturdays.

Domino's first trip to the new doctor was a lasting one. He was getting his annual rabies vaccine.  The vet's assistant was a rather large, bearded man.  He reminded me of Dan Haggerty's character "Grizzly Adams".  We had asked this man if he wouldn't mind clipping Domino's claws after the shots.  Domino was very well behaved during the shots because the new doctor knew how to handle him.  When the large vet's assistant picked up one of Domino's paws, Domino started growling and hissing and trying to bite the man.  The man quickly let go of Domino's paw and said, "maybe we should just leave those alone."

Everytime I make an appointment for him, the person making the appointment says, "I remember Domino. He's a large cat with a personality."

He does have a personality that is uniquely his own and an attitude to go with it.


© 2010 Tammy L


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