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Humour stories

Updated on September 10, 2012

A stain in aclassical wedding ceremony

One day I was invited in a wedding at a place called Karen in Kenya. The invitation arose from the fact that the bride and groom were my church members. The wedding happened to be on a Saturday and though I am not used to wasting time on such events, I opted to attend this one since after all, I had nothing to do on this day. Another motive in attending this function was that I am thinking of doing a wedding myself this year. So I wanted to familiarize myself with the process.

I reached the venue at exactly 9 o’clock. Since the program had not started, I had a tour of the environment hosting the function. It was a large compound where the cooperative college of Kenya is based. For this man to hire this magnificent compound for this function, he must be moneyed. I thought. The compound was decorated all over with flowers of all types; and although the bride and groom were people from my church, the ushers and other organizers were people I had never seen. It is only some church members who were given such junior positions as security. Inspecting the kitchen,(because this is where the interest of many people attending such functions is centered) I realized that are known outside catering firm was the one responsible in feeding the people. When I saw a canter loaded with all types of food, ugali, meat, rice, chapati, sodas and others I had never seen before, I was now contented with the situation, in terms of stomach treatment.

At 10.00 o’clock, people were requested to assemble and the program started. I was amazed to see that the master of ceremony was one Shadique Shaban, a television and radio personality in Kenya. You see for me, coming face to face with a television or radio personality was a rare situation and exciting, exciting because this is the area I had wanted to venture for along time. This is a wonderful moment, I thought.

The wedding procession went on very well until one Kibiwott and another Doreen were tied together as man and wife till death doeth them apart, if at all they are going to abide by that vow.(Actually many people forget about that statement as soon as they are out of that celebration scenario.) After that, ululation and dancing filled the venue. And then people, that is visitors were told to Que for catering. I qued among the last people hoping that we will get much share after most people had been served.Had I known that that thinking was wrong,and that I was to miss the same food, I could have been among the first ones.I practically missed the food as it got finished before we were reached.I only received two bones,small amount of soup and some strange raw leaves.What a bitter man I was on that day considering that I had persevered with hunger the whole day! And that I had virtually come here with a clean stomach. What I received did not actually amount to food. People who were among the last group complained a lot "How can one do an expensive wedding like this but keep people hungry? "Why did they hire a catering organization instead of cooking the food themselves? Why did they serve large shares to the first people without considering that there are many people around?" Such and many more lamentations filled the ground.

There and then I decided that I should not stay there hungry while other people are overfed.So I boarded a matatu back home.In reaching home,I cooked a large junk of maize meal with kale to 'revenge' for the hunger.Since that day I decided that I can not go to such a function with an empty stomach because you will never know how things will go.


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