ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

I Rewatched all 7 Seasons of Game of Thrones and the Best Character May Suprise You

Updated on April 15, 2019

Game of Thrones sports one of the absolute best ensemble casts in the history of television and with it's final season on the horizon and an absolute disgust for any meaningful use of free time, I have decided to revisit the series and answer the question that every fan is asking. Who is the best?

Before you go off commenting something about how "the best" is a subjective term and "It's obviously Tyrion you idiot" let me first say, you are wrong.

I have done the calculations, poured over the figures and finalized the research and am here to tell you that not only is there a clear cut winner, but I have the scientific evidence to back it up. You see there are only 3 real things one must judge when ranking Game of Thrones characters and they are as follows

1. Sick Hair

2. Sick Burns

3.Current wang condition

Now look, I dont make these rules George R.R.Martin does so if you have any problems take them up with him. I also want to save you all some time and let you know that Jon Snow will not be appearing anywhere on this list and the reason is simple, his cut is weak, his burns are weak and the only mention of his wang is when Ygritte called it pretty, clear crash and burn in all three categories.

Now without further ado, lets get into the honorable mentions.


Honorable Mention #1 Lord Varys

Hair-Brave

In a world where your cut says a lot about you and most everyone has hair like they are on a million dollar an episode TV show, only one man, nay one person has the stones to go full on que ball. The Master of Whispers himself.

Burns-Classy

Don't let his outward appearance and demeanor fool you, The Spider can sling with the best of them and so help you if you get in his path when he is on full tilt, there wont be enough aloe in all the Seven Kingdoms to cool your burn.

Wang-Long Gone

One of the lesser known facts about the eunuch is that he actually had his member removed years and years ago. Where this would make lesser men into much lesser men, Varys has used it to his advantage. you never want to be in a fight with a man who has nothing to lose.

Runner Up #3 Podrick Payne

Hair-Lackluster

If not for his admittingly below par performance in the hair category, this squire could have taken this thing all the way.

Burns-Underwhelming

Pod is one of the most soft spoken and humble characters across the entire HBO catalogue, and for this reason he scores fairly low in this category.


Wang-Mythic

Now this is where the Squire on Fire earns a majority of his points. Although whatever Pod did to those girls is one of, if not the biggest question going into season 8, it seems that we may never truly find out.

#2 Al Swearengen

Hair-Oiled

This one may really surprise some of but I want to assure and remind you that the science checks out. Al Swearengen from Deadwood is the second best Game of Thrones character and it's not even close.

Burns-Best in the West

Al- Don't make me play that s#!t where you make me drag it outta ya. Declare or shut the f%&k up.

Farnum- Perhaps I've chosen simple mindedness Al.

Al- Say what you're gonna say or prepare for eternal f%*king silence.

Wang-Energy

While we often see Swedgen satisfying his primal desires, it is more the way he carries it around town that raises his scores here Almost daring anyone to question it's size.

Cersei's End of Season 6/Season 7 Haircut

Hair-Off the Charts

Clearly Cersei's season 7 haircut scores a perfect 89 in the hair category. The power and poise alone rank it higher than all of the Stark haircuts combined.

Burns- Have You Seen the Cept of Baelor Recently?

Cersei has long been a champion of wit, but we all know that haircut is responsible for the biggest burn of all.

Wang- Enormous

Surrounded on all sides by enemies that would rather see nothing more than her head on a spike, Cersei and her "Can I see your manager?" cut still feel like a major favorite to win the whole show.

Well that just about wraps it up. 7 seasons, 67 hours and one haircut to rule them all. Stay tuned come season 8 for more totally legitimate Game of Thrones coverage.

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)