ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

I have nothing to do so let's do it together

Updated on January 2, 2014

Pointless facts to distract you from the already distracting internet

The CIA spent 20 million to train a cat to spy on the soviets during the cold war. It was run over by a taxi

Stilettos were invented by butchers. The intention was to get better movement over the blood and gore.

Non-dairy creamer is flammable

I didn't fact check - but I will to find out if something is flammable

You burn more calories sleeping than watching TV

Things I want to complain about now

I can’t think of a single meaningful thing to write

Words come together and sometimes those words make sense.

Not right now, every sentence in my head involves cheese for absolutely no reason.

Ok, I lie, I can think of a few things. All of those things are complaints. Enjoy.

One of jerk dogs I live with smells like some sort of concoction that involves dead person, rotten eggs, and fart. I think I am going to get a lot of comments about this, but why are all small dogs jerks? Seriously, I used to get a chuckle out of seeing a 7 pound dog teasing a pit bull, but now after being tethered to a tiny tyrant, I no longer find it funny. Small dogs are jerks. I can knock it because I have tried it.

I wanted to buy beets at a famous mega-store. When I found the beet bin, I found it buried under radishes. I started to dig through the radishes to find if there was possibly a beet. Sadly, there was not. However, an obviously intelligent employee stopped to ask if I needed help as I hold a handful of radishes and a bewildered expression. I say, “it looks like someone put all of the radishes in your beets bin, and you don’t have any beets.” She says, “No, I worked on a farm, those are beets.” While pointing at the radishes in my hand. I remained quiet because I felt if I responded it would be like hitting a handicapped person; No matter what you say you still lose. I just took a breath and felt that part of me that still had faith in humanity twitch. I killed my remorse with alcohol later.

I know that cats power the internet so I fear that I may be marked for death just by mentioning this, but I am pretty sure my cat is going to kill me. I see him staring and all I can picture is bold font word “SOON” next to him. I’m not a fan.


Peter picked pickled peppers past the purple people eater?

See results

I read in some news article today that 37 people were killed due to the recent legalization of marijuana. I felt as if all of my teen years were wasted. All those attempts at weed death were failed. If I could piece together my 20’s I might be mad about it. Anyway, it appeared as if this article claims that real people can really die from weed smoking. I see that can be true, but only like this. Some pot head realizes he is super hungry and after almost losing the feeling in his fingers from constant video games he gets up. Then, as he stretches for the first time in hours – possibly days – he walks outside. At the exact moment this happens a plane falls from the sky and lands on him, but not before bursting into flames. The weed smoker is too entranced by the flaming plane heading towards him and eventually ponders the possibilities of said plane. But it’s too late pothead you’re dead.

So, I realized that toddlers can be incredibly funny. However, this reflection must be made in one of those rare moments when you are honestly trying to figure out how spaghetti got on the ceiling when your precious little one was just eating fruit. It’s quite amazing. I think my little one has used her amazing talent to create an 11th dimension so she can hide things. I still cannot find a few of her cups of milk. I am sure someone in the hung dynasty is enjoying them because I’m sure the 11th dimension is back in time.

I am kind of frustrated that everything requires effort. That’s all I have to say about that because elaborating will force me to muster more effort.



    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Informative and intense. A great read.

      I just love your writing style.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)