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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Twenty-Two: House By the Cemetery

Updated on December 28, 2011
Professor Poopface
Professor Poopface

Well Lucio, you failed at hororr, but this movie borders on comedy. The acting, the dubbing, all of it, is just pisspoor.

Fulci was coming off the brilliant The Beyond and pretty much hashed this out in less than a year. The story is that Norman and his family, including a girly-looking boy named Bob, moves into a house where there has been, let's just say, unsavory events taking place.

Norman is doing a research project on old houses, his wife Lucy is having mental problems, and Bob is seeing people who aren't there. So there's also a mad scientist who's been living in the basement eating people to stay alive. All I can say about him is he looks like he was shit out a mud puddle's ass. He looks horrible.

There's a lot of random killing in this movie, including the intro scene where a dumb girl shows her tits and dies after wandering around calling out for her boyfriend. She's stabbed through the back of the mouth with scissors...I didn't see that coming!

The scene that makes this movie so god damned ridiculous is the scene in which Norman fights off a giant rubber bat. It's attached to his hand and won't let go, and meanwhile, Lucy is screaming her completely unwilling to help head off. And then Norman grabs a knife, and for at least five seconds, you can see him clearly laughing at the whole situation, as if to say, "Why the hell am I doing this?"

The movie ends with an ending similar to The City of the Living Dead, so again, I'll leave it to you to watch it. But the killer bleeds maggots at some point. I don't know why the Italians loved maggots, but they're a huge theme. I wonder if it's because they don't ask for much pay in return.


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    • optimus grimlock profile image

      optimus grimlock 6 years ago

      hmm city of the miving dead must be fairly new. this movie sounds like some of the horror movies Ive seen from other countries really boring and lame!