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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Twenty-Four: Rest Stop

Updated on December 29, 2011
Maybe she didn't pull the trigger hard enough...
Maybe she didn't pull the trigger hard enough...

I've been helping people out for most of the previous episodes, recommending pretty decent movies.

So I'm warning you. When you see this movie in the cheap bin, bury it. Don't let anyone near it. It's incapable of being defended. You can't justify its existence. If you really want to spend an hour and a half being disappointed, go to the DMV. Go to a rest home. Hell, go to a real rest stop. But do not watch this.

It starts out when Nicole and her boyfriend decide to drive to California. While they're having sex, some guy in a truck drives by. Nicole needs to pee, so they stop at a rest stop. We get to join her in the bathroom, pervert style. Then she walks out to find her boyfriend's car gone.

The guy in the truck throws her phone at her, and she suddenly realizes he kidnapped her boyfriend. So...she hangs out in the office, meets some rednecks, pees again, gets drunk, and hallucinates in the bathroom.

Now, there is a road. She could, conceivably, walk until someone drove by. Instead, she stays put. A cop shows up, but has his legs run over, because in a horror movie, your IQ has to be below average to be a police officer.

This is when I become completely lost. He begs her to kill him, so she shoots him in the face. Not too long after that, he's alive again. Apparently, bullets cannot harm him! Nope. Just trucks.

She has her hand bitten by the crazy redneck man, then is forced to watch a video of her boyfriend being tortured. She also sees people in the walls. Hard to explain, because I don't know why they're there, nor do I care. I just keep thinking, why doesn't she leave?

The crazy redneck man decides to blow up the bathroom, so she finally does get out, then rips off her shirt to make a Molotov cocktail. Finally...something worth seeing, except I'm so worn down from this crap that even a very sexy lady trying to blow shit up is boring to me.

The ending is a jump ending. Of course it is. What else would you expect from a movie that looks like it ripped off the Sci-Fi Network?

Yeah. There's a sequel too. Yippie.

This Movie Is Better....

There IS a Sequel...

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      Phoebe Pike 6 years ago

      Wow... that sounds like the worst movie ever.

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