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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Thirty-One: The Beast in Heat

Updated on March 2, 2012
Paulie got laid off from the meat packing plant again...
Paulie got laid off from the meat packing plant again...

Oh boy. I can’t even begin to describe this insane movie to you.

There’s around seventy films that were banned by the D.P.P. in England in the 80’s, and a lot of them, or at least the ones that weren’t cannibal movies, were Nazisploitation. This one, however, is more like nonsense-sploitation.

The copy of “The Beast in Heat”, also known as “La Bestia in Calore”, or a bunch of titles with “SS-Something or Other” in them, that I received is in all Italian. With no subtitles, But from the looks of things, the dialogue can’t possibly make things make more sense.

It appears that a female Nazi officer has a torture chamber. Inside is a rape-monster, who basically looks like Paulie from “Rocky” with a handlebar moustache. He rapes his female prisoners to death. And eats vaginas. Yeah. We’re talking extreme close-up. It’s more laughable than disgusting.

There are also scenes unrelated to the aforementioned beast. The Nazi’s are running around town doing Nazi things, like grabbing a baby, tossing it in the air and shooting it. I’m wondering what dialogue was said to make this scene less ridiculous. Oh, and let’s not forget the senseless rape scenes. Or the sex scene where a woman basically writhes around on an older gentleman’s stomach. Tasteful.

Back to the torture chamber, because hey, this movie’s supposed to be about a beast, right? Well, we have a man hanging upside down being dunked in milk, which I guess is supposed to be lime, but come on. It’s milk. We have hamsters crawling on a woman’s stomach, I guess eating her, but they don’t seem too interested. And we have the female Nazi officer writhing around naked on a prisoner. Is any of this in context of anything? Who knows…unless you speak Italian or have subtitles, and even then, I really doubt it.

Also, in the film’s moment of infamy, a woman has her nails pulled out, and from what I understand, her calm talking is just as calm when translated. She’s calmly informing the officers that they are “hurting her.” I’d say so, yeah.

So in the end, the beast breaks loose and rapes the Nazi officer to death, while her cohorts just stand there and let it happen. What I get from this movie is that most of the time, the D.P.P. was doing the world a favor by banning some of these movies, but also inadvertently made them last longer, because of their infamy. By all accounts, including my own viewing, this movie stinks. But at the same time, it seems goofy as hell, and completely unnecessary.


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